My daughters, my sisters

Photo by Molly Viglione Photography, 2013

Before we had children, I read Tedd Tripp's book "Shepherding a Child's Heart". It revolutionized my idea of what parenting is by conforming it to God's idea for what parenting should be, and has shaped most of my decisions and interactions as a mom.

My daughters were given to my husband and I, not so we could have temporary lordship over them, and get a kick out of telling them what to do and how to live - it was because the Lord was pleased to let us work alongside Him in raising up world-changing disciples for Jesus who are capable of thriving and growing after we are gone. 

One of the relationships that a believer has with other believers is that of a sibling relationship. Over and over in the New Testament, we are reminded that we are to treat fellow believers as brothers and sisters (or, better, if you have had a crummy relationship with your actual siblings!).

Romans 8:29 - Jesus is the firstborn (the rightful heir) among many siblings! Anyone who has believed on the Lord Jesus Christ has been adopted into the family of God - we are all spiritual brothers & sisters. 

1 Timothy 5:1-2 - Paul's instructions to Timothy on how the believers are to treat one another! Treat...'the younger women as sisters, with all purity'.

1 Peter 3:8-9 - treat the brethren (believers) with a tender heart and courtesy, returning blessing for evil. When my girls are rude, disrespectful, wretched...I am to be a blessing to them, not mean toward them.

1 Corinthians 2:1-5 - I included this because Paul is speaking to his brethren (believers). I try to keep this passage in my mind when dealing with my girls: so that they may know that I am not parenting in human wisdom but that their faith should be solely in God's wisdom and power. Parenting is not a power play; it is a guiding role.

My daughters, if I am raising them in the truths of Scripture and covering them with prayers {and they are made alive in Christ by the Spirit!}, will be my sisters in the Lord - equals, as far as the Lord is concerned. I am not a better Christian than they are; I am to act toward them like an older, wiser, loving sister. The relationship I have to them as sisters will extend beyond the years as the authority figure/mom; I must plan for and parent in light of that.

Now, as their mom, I need to remember that in addition, the Lord has called me to train them to obey, trust, and grow in character. I am not their 'sister' in the sense that I'm their best friend and can let them get away with whatever. No, God's calling for parents is clear. I do not train my girls to obey Will and I because we are worthy to be obeyed in our own right; I train them to obey because if they will not obey us, they are not likely to obey the Lord when He speaks to them. I don't train my girls in good character qualities so my life will be easier and I can take them out in public with confidence; I train them in good character so that no matter what the Lord calls them to later on, they will have a foundation of character on which to build, so that His name will be honored.

But how does my knowledge that these are my younger sisters in the faith change our day-to-day relationship?

-It means that I will think twice before berating them for making my life more difficult when they mess up as they are learning. It is a sacred responsibility and joy to take the time to teach my 'little sisters' everything from studying the Word, to cooking, to dusting, to managing conflict among themselves. 

-It means that I take the time to share with them what I'm learning from my own quiet time - in an age-appropriate way. For my preschooler, that might look like "God is showing me that He is always faithful!"; for my older girls it might be "see this verse here that I read? It means that no matter what is happening, even if I think it's bad, that He can be trusted to do the right thing!"

-It means that sometimes, I am just goofy with them instead of hounding them to be quiet/stop making messes/sit down/etc. Rather than seeing the girls as a management project, I delight in their company, because  they are each created in the image of God, born for an eternal purpose! 

-It means that I purpose to speak to them with the same respect I would extend to any other adult.

-It means that when they start talking about their dreams, I put everything down ASAP and listen. I want to let them know that I will do whatever I can to help them find out what God has planned for them, and that I am behind them all the way.

-It means that when I see a glaring character flaw or sin issue in one of my girls, I don't complain about how much it affects me and makes my job harder. I swiftly go to battle on my knees on her behalf, and I find a way to point her to Jesus and what His word has to say for her specific need.

-It means that when my girls take the time to minister to me, I don't just flippantly respond, 'oh, that's so cute!'. I thank them earnestly for their encouragement, and I praise the Lord for speaking to me through their lives.

I am not just trying to limp my way through managing children day in and day out for the next 15 years, until all the girls are 18 and "no longer my responsibility!". With the Lord's help, vision, and direction, I am investing my days to disciple a new generation of passionate women for Christ; and when they are grown, my goal is to walk alongside them through joys and sorrows, and offer counsel as a dear friend and sister.

They'll always be my little girls :)
Photo by Molly Viglione Photography, 2013.

Elizabeth, Abby, & Hannah will always be my little girls. They are, as the Psalmist says, 'a heritage' and 'a reward' {Psalm 127:3}. I will cherish the little years for my lifetime - it is a terrific calling to shepherd little hearts and watch them grow in grace and knowledge. But my years in the hands-on mothering role are fleeting. From now, and for eternity, they will be my sisters in Christ, and I want to parent with that in mind always.

How does the truth that your children will someday be your siblings in the Lord change how you treat them?

Shepherding my daughters,

loving my sisters,

for His glory!

~Lisha

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Jesus and the Three Little Pigs

Artwork by Abby

"What did you talk about in Junior Church this morning?"

I ask each week as we load into the van after church.

"Hmm. I don't remember," is usually the reply that I get. But if I don't press the issue, it will eventually work its way out in conversation, and I am almost always blessed because I'm given them ample time to process what they've learned.

Like tonight, as I was fixing dinner. I was at the stove, plating everything up, and the girls were huddled around me, watching and talking.

Abby: "Mom, one time we learned in Junior Church about sinking sand and solid rock. We did an experiment with two Little People. One stood on sand, and one on a rock. We dumped water on the people, and the boy on the sand fell over but the one on the rock - he wobbled a little bit!, but didn't fall down. And that story that we learned about, with Jesus? It sounds the same as the Three Little Pigs story.

"Both have someone (well, two pigs and just one man in the other story) who build a house out of things that break easily. Like sticks and hay and out on the sand. But then the other pig or man builds out of things that don't break. Bricks and rocks."

Artwork by Elizabeth

Elizabeth: "So that when the rain or lightning, or the bad wolf comes around, the sticks, hay, and sand just *poof* sinks away to nothing...but the bricks and rocks don't go anywhere. They are strong.

"It's kind of like Jesus being strong for us if bad things happen."

Thank You, Father, for teaching simple yet deep truths to my daughters, as only You can. And thank You for letting me listen in on what You're showing them!

What stories have your little ones shared with you recently?

Building on the Rock,
for His glory!
~Lisha

Here are the verses the girls are talking about:
“Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.

“But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.”

And so it was, when Jesus had ended these sayings, that the people were astonished at His teaching, for He taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.
(Jesus, in Matthew 7:24-29)

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Update - Elizabeth's Surgery

New to the blog? Catch up on my daughter's journey by reading I did not sign up for this part!!, have i not commanded you?, I trust you so much, but..., You just don't understand!, and It's not about her, if you'd like.

We made the two-and-a-half-ish hour trek north early this morning to the regional children's hospital (CHaD - Children's Hospital at Dartmouth) [You may have seen this recent viral video - some of the staff members here have cared for E!]. We prayed last night that the weather would be okay, since it's been snowy and gross here [December. New England. What else could we reasonably expect?!]. Instead, the roads were still kind of slick when we hit the road at 6:45am. So instead of changing the weather, God had us follow the state salt & sand truck - for 13 miles - over the mountain and almost into Keene. (Thanks, Lord).

The staff at CHaD is phenomenal, and we are grateful for each one that has cared for Elizabeth (and us!). They treated Elizabeth with respect and great kindness. The anesthesiologists & the surgeon were baffled by her calmness, and how eagerly she cooperated - and how sweet she was right upon waking up from the anesthesia. It is a direct answer to my prayers, though: that the peace of Jesus just rest upon her and fill her heart, so that she knows in Whose hands she is the whole time. She trusts God inherently in ways that astound me.

Elizabeth decorating her anesthesia mask
with princess stickers :)

The surgery itself started much later than we thought due to circumstances beyond anyone's control, but Elizabeth was only in surgery for about 25 minutes - if that. Only enough time for Will and I to go in search of my favorite coffee spot in the food court and then walk back with 20oz of hazelnut coffee liquid energy (I was running on about 3 1/2 hours of sleep). She came to right away, smiling and trying to chat up a foggy-minded storm (so cute!). After a couple of minutes, she was mostly back to normal and the doctor came by to check on her. She thanked him and the nurse for helping her (and thanked another nurse for choosing the right and coolest band-aid for her IV spot) and wished the doctor a Merry Christmas - and the nurse brought her a cherry popsicle.

Out of surgery, in recovery - my little trooper,
holding tight to Daddy's hand!

The prize :)

Once the nurse was pleased with her vitals, we got to load Elizabeth up in a wheelchair and head home!

Leaving CHaD!

And the prescription now is Don't Do Much For The Next Couple Of Days. That means a rare 'movie day' and quite a few special treats while she heals up. She even got to rest in Mommy's chair (a big deal around here!).

Elizabeth sitting in Mommy's chair! :)

I don't even know where to begin with how grateful I feel right now. I know that many dear ones were praying for us and I saw God answering prayer in the biggest and tiniest details!! So let me share this, the verse on my mind:

It is good to give thanks to the Lord,
and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;
to declare Your lovingkindness in the morning,
and Your faithfulness every night,
on an instrument of ten strings,
on the lute,
and on the harp,
with harmonious sound.
For You, Lord, have made me glad through Your work;
I will triumph in the works of Your hands.
{Psalm 92:1-4}

What next? Keep irrigating her system every morning. Sometime in the next 6+ months we will likely return to CHaD for tests to see if the nerves in her colon are dead or not. No matter what the journey holds or the long-term outcome, I want the might and majesty and mercy of Jesus to be the first and only thing people notice!!

Thankful for modern medicine,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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It's not about her

**When you're done reading this, you're invited to read the update! Surgery was today!**

Tomorrow, we'll be heading to Dartmouth with E for a fairly uncomplicated maintenance surgery for her cecostomy. We recently learned that her body is not healing the way that it should be, and the tubes will need to stay in her for at least another year. This was not what we'd envisioned or expected but God is sovereign, and it has not taken Him by surprise.

Years ago, when we began this journey of not knowing what was wrong with our daughter, the Lord impressed upon my heart repeatedly that this trial was not just for her or about her. That there was a greater purpose: to build the faith of the believers around her and to magnify His love and care and power so that those who do not yet believe would see. That has helped me steady my gaze, because it's hard not to get frustrated.

E (far right) with her little sisters.
She has been a dear example of perseverance for them
throughout all of this!

Here are a few of the verses I have on my mind as the anxious mom. Please share any verses the Lord has put on your heart recently below. My well is mostly dry right now, and I will drink in as much of the life-giving Word as you can share.

Philippians 4:6-7
Isaiah 26:3-4
John 9:1-3
Psalm 145

Thank you!

Trusting Him,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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Daily Devotions for little hearts

Most mornings, Monday through Saturday, the girls and I set aside some time to learn about God, sing & dance to praise songs, and to pray for our day and for our friends & family.

If you've been thinking about doing something similar but don't know where to start, here's an overview of what's working for our family now. I hope it will encourage you to find what works in your home!

First, I read a lesson from whichever devotional book we happen to be reading, or a passage from Scripture. Right now, the older girls & I are reading through Leading Little Ones to God 2-3 times a week (I HIGHLY recommend this for children, probably up through age 10. It presents basic doctrine in a way that is understandable and engaging. My daughters look forward to these lessons!

Hannah listens in on the lesson and whatever the morning's Bible reading is, as well, and then I read a page from her book. Right now, we're reading 101 Favorite Stories from the Bible - excellent for toddlers & preschoolers. The stories are short (less than a page), well-illustrated, include a couple of easy comprehension questions for each story, and most importantly they are scripturally accurate. The big girls enjoy going back through this book (we read it together in 2009) and it's been a great refresher for them.

With the Bible reading, I read directly from my Bible - a passage that goes along with the big girls' lesson. I read from the New King James Version or the King James Version and then I explain any of the unfamiliar words or expressions so the girls understand what's being said.

After our readings, we go over our memory verse of the week (if we have one - most weeks we do). We read the verse together out loud once or twice, then I ask if anyone would like to try it by herself). Then I ask each of the girls in turn to list a song or two that they'd like to sing. Anything that honors Jesus is fair game.

In our home, we feel that sharing different genres of music with our daughters is not only okay, but important, so they know that there are many different ways to praise God in song. Personally, I prefer more acoustic-style artists (Shane & Shane, Phil Wickham, Bethany Dillon...), but Will enjoys the Christian rap and techno artists (Trip Lee, Andy Hunter, etc).

Elizabeth's favorite: Robot {Trip Lee}

Abby's favorite: Forgiven {Sanctus Real}

Hannah's favorite: Captured {The Digital Age}

We share traditional hymns, classical music, acoustic, hip-hop, rock, etc with the girls. As long as the message is clearly meant to lift up Jesus, it works. However, we understand and appreciate that some families have come to a different conclusion about music - so while I still think music is an important part of worship (the Psalms make it clear that we are to praise the Lord with instruments and song!) - your own conviction about the styles of music should help you choose the music that works best in your home.

Here is the playlist that we tend to draw from most mornings:
Your Great Name (Natalie Grant)
Though You Slay Me (Shane & Shane)
To Live Is Christ (Trip Lee)
Easter Song (Keith Green)
songs from Sing the Word: A New Commandment CD (the Harrow Family)
The Shout of El-Shaddai (Paul Wilbur)
Names of God (Laurell Hubick)
All the Poor and Powerless (The Digital Age)
A Mighty Fortress is Our God (the Chris Rice version)
All Creatures of Our God & King (the Passion version)
Manifesto (The City Harmonic)

The Revelation Song (Jesus Culture)

Strong Tower (Kutless)

Once we take some time to sing and dance, we pray. I have no requirements for prayer time except that the girls have an attitude of reverence. Their posture and what they say is not nearly as important to me as their hearts being focused on speaking with and listening to the Lord. I have a kneeler, a dancer, and a fidget-er. Their prayers range from "thank You, Jesus for this day!" to in-depth prayers for their friends and for people they know.

I've found that the best way to teach prayer is to let them hear me pray, and then give them the chance to pray out loud, too. Often. When we are having a crummy morning (it happens!), I pray and then invite them to as well. When I see a prayer request pop up on FB or a call comes in, we stop and each take turns praying. Before we do Elizabeth's cecostomy flush each morning, she hears me pray over her. The more often they hear Will & I and others pray, the more they see that it's vital; the more they pray, the more likely they are to develop the reflex of prayer first in all situations!

We do recite the Lord's prayer (KJV) at least 2-3 times a week. Not because reciting it gains any extra favor with the Lord, but because it is a precious reminder of the mindset we should have when we approach the throne of grace! That the Lord is holy, and to pray for His will, and to ask for His provision, pardon, & protection, and that we confess that He is the Almighty!

All in all, we spend about 30 minutes to 1 hour each morning with our "Bible Time". It's a sweet time for all of us. And honestly, some mornings it doesn't happen that way. It's had to wait until lunch time before, or just before bed. But I try to work it into our mornings, even if other parts of our morning have to be ditched. My desire is that they will, over the next few years, begin to have their own quiet time each morning with the Lord as well as our devotion time. In order to do that, I need to take these precious days to model what it looks like. Even in the seasons when I'm struggling with my own walk.

Do you have a daily devotion time with your children? When? What books and other resources do you use? (And do you have a recommendation for young girls who are 8ish? When E turns 8, I'd like to put aside some time each day to begin a Bible study just with her, and I'd love any suggestions!)

Learning about the Lord with my littles,

for His glory!

~Lisha

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You just don't understand!

Photos from E's surgery 11/2012

A phone call came today.

It was supposed to bring relief and hope. Confirmation of good news and the fresh start for my daughter.

...but in just a few seconds, it deflated my spirit. It was not the news we had hoped for. I wept bitterly and had to run to my bedroom at the back of the house so the girls wouldn't see me clench my fists while my tears rolled off of my cheeks. And before I knew it, these words escaped out from under my breath:

God...You...just...don't...understand. We have walked through so much this year. These past few years. I was led to believe that this phone call would bring a break. A chance to breathe a little. 

And I cried. While the girls were oblivious and contentedly playing the piano in the den, I cried. Then, when I'd thrown my pity party, I sat quietly.

Then came a firm but gentle reminder:

You can say a great many things in times of discouragement and trouble, My child, but you may not say that I do not understand what you are going through.

And a long silence. The sting of conviction. The shock of what just was spoken in haste. The terror of accusing God that He is not compassionate or wise.


A confession: I know, Lord. Forgive me.


He does understand. Oh, He understands exactly. He understands even better than I do. Because He's been with me for all of it. He brought to mind a flood of verses:

Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
{Hebrews 4:14-16}

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
{Psalm 23:4}

Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord God—my God—will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord...
{1 Chronicles 28:20}

Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
{Isaiah 41:10}

“Because he has set his love upon Me,
therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him,
and show him My salvation.”
{Psalm 91:14-16}

*This was this morning's reading with my daughters.
Before I knew what the day would bring*
Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
{Matthew 6:25-33}

...and this song. He asked me to cry out, that He would be my hiding place. Not to run from Him in confusion, but run to Him and find shelter in His love and protection. So that I can teach my little girls to do the same as this path unfolds before us.

Last week, I shared a bit of my current bout of spiritual apathy, and then Sunday I shared how God had kindled hope in my soul and sparked feeling in my heart once more. Today, He has me back in a familiar place: totally dependent, desperate to know Him more and cling to Him. It's not wrapped in the sparkly gift bag of joy and happiness that I wished for, but He has given me a merciful gift by rousing me suddenly from my I-don't-care attitude.

My little girl has a longer road on this journey than we thought. And His grace, which has sustained us thus far, will continue. This moment, tomorrow, and forever. Even when I am so quick to forget and go into panic mode.

So, if you need us anytime soon, we'll be in hiding. Under the shadow of the Almighty. If you are going through a hard time right now, you should come hide, too.

Hiding in Him tonight,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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Faith like a child

Do you believe that children can minister to adults? That God can move a hard heart through the faith of a little one?

I do.

My relationship with Jesus exists because a dear child with a giant-sized faith introduced me to her God (you can read about Sarah & me here. or here. or here.).

And at 7, 6, & 3, my children have all strengthened my heart on days when I didn't feel I could bear much more. I think some people dismiss children as useless and not able to contribute much - but from my experience (and some of the most poignant stories in the Bible!), I've learned that when I'm willing to open my heart and my ears to them they are one of the most precious resources I have for learning, growing, and being built up in my faith.

Below are some of the ways my children have ministered to me, my husband, each other (what a joy!), and to others in their lives. The best way to describe how it feels when one of my girls reaches out to comfort me is, it's like a soul hug. God works through them to calm my soul and anchor my heart on His love and His truths!

Romans 8:28, as drawn by Elizabeth.
This still hangs in the kitchen to remind me daily
that nothing is wasted in God's economy!

Back in May, Will had gone to NY to stay with his mom for a little while. It was a rough couple weeks for me, and Elizabeth was particularly sweet to remind me of the things we had learned about during Bible time and what she'd learned from Miss Diane at Junior Church!

The girls wanted to sing this song for Daddy

while he was away for a period of time earlier this year.

Again, the girls wanted to encourage Daddy with a song they'd been learning - Psalm 1 (courtesy of the Harrow Family's Sing the Word series!)

The big girls & I work on memory verses each week.
Sometimes, Elizabeth writes out the week's verse for Hannah (3)
and teaches it to her.

Do to others as you would have them do to you! -Elizabeth spent a long time writing this out and going over it with Hannah! And now Hannah remembers the verse when her sisters are giving her a hard time. :)

We hosted a 5-Day Club this summer.
At the end of the week, E made this for one of her teachers!

They love to make cards for people, and write out the words to their favorite Bible songs. I know it blesses others when my daughters remember them and reach out to encourage them!

"Mommy, I wrote you a secret message
in my copywork today. Can you find it?"
On this particular morning, I needed both of these messages!

This is a page from E & A penmanship book (Horizons Penmanship from AOP! We love it!)

Elizabeth made this and hung it next to Daddy's computer
"for the days when he forgets this."

It's true. Sometimes, we forget the truths of God's Word. And I am so grateful that the Lord sees fit to minister to me through the hearts and lives of my daughters. 

How have the children in your life ministered to you in difficult times?

Praising God for children,

for His glory!

~Lisha

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Teaching children to sit through church

Do you ever receive a compliment for your child's/childrens' behavior, and wonder 'whose children are these sweet people talking about?!' (I'm mostly jesting...mostly.) I do, sometimes. In part because it's so easy for me to have a critical view of my daughters' behavior too often; and in part because I know our girls better than anyone else and understand they are not always as angelic as they appear in public.

Some folks at church have recently complimented my daughters about how they do a nice job of sitting through church - and they ask me how I manage to get the girls to do it. My girls are 7 1/2, 6, & 3 - and most of the time, they conduct themselves pretty well in the sanctuary. ...coffee hour and fellowship time, though, that's a different story. We'll probably be working on that for the next few years. If you visit Jaffrey Bible, and you see kids camped out by the snack table [or underneath it, waiting for food to drop...], or finishing other people's unattended snacks, they're likely mine. They do get enough to eat, contrary to what they might tell you.

When our oldest two were little (newborn & 1 1/2), we felt strongly that we wanted them to sit through the entire service with us, even though nursery care was available. At this point, all three of our girls are old enough to go downstairs to Junior Church during the sermon portion of the service most of the time, but every so often I keep them up with me to keep teaching them this important skill. We've not perfected it - we never will. But we keep on trying.

Here is my offering to parents who are wondering how to teach their children to sit respectfully through church. It is not a get-quiet-kids-quick scheme, and I make no promises. These are just the things the Lord has shown me as I've sought to point my girls to Jesus.

1) Be the example.

Be. the. example.

You are always an example to those little sets of eyes. Like when you talk to your pew neighbors during announcements or during the sermon (I ask my girls to speak up respectfully when they see me doing this, because it's a weakness of mine). When you are rifling through your handbag just to check your phone one more time (or, if you keep your phone in your hand or by your side!). When you are fidgeting because you are feeling bored.

If you want your children to learn how to sit still, pay attention, and enjoy the service - set the example.

Some parents choose to allow their kids to bring coloring books, small toys, or other things to keep them quiet. That is between you and the Lord. We chose not to do that because "being quiet" wasn't the end goal we wanted for our children - it was learning to worship God in His sanctuary, with His people. We encourage the girls to bring a Bible or Bible storybook with them, and we encourage them to either participate (singing, listening, etc), or to read while seated. And I try to be aware that I follow my own guidelines!

2) Be patient.

What I cannot promise you is that your littles will stay put and be quiet in just a few easy steps. Training them to sit takes time. Sometimes, years. With my older two, it was easily 3 years before I could sit through a whole service. But I am reaping the benefits now, and it makes all of those training years worth it.

Decide on a couple basic rules/guidelines, and stick to them. When they are dishonored, deal with it right away. Even if that means getting up and carrying them to the back of the church 8,341 times a service for 2 years.

Our guidelines:
-When someone is speaking from the pulpit, you may not speak {dire potty emergencies excluded}. Look at the speaker, or you may read your Bible silently.
-When we are singing, you may sing along, or read quietly.
-You may sit on the floor or on the pew, but you may not wander around.

Obviously, any babies under, I'd say, 18 months - just realize that they cry. They get fussy. They vocalize. Often, at the most inconvenient times. But there is no need for disciplining a child who cries due to hunger, or being overtired, or just because! Accept with joy and thanksgiving the fact that you will likely play the get-up-and-sit-back-down game for a couple of years if you have a baby - or that you'll be in the Cry Room if your church has one. For a long time, I had to sign up for a copy of the message on CD or hear the summary from Will!

Once they get to be old enough to show defiant behavior (it varies!), you'll need to decide how you will deal with a rebellious attitude - and the difference between real rebellion and plain old crankiness (9:30-11 is a tough time for littles who are used to a morning nap! Once you have a plan, be as consistent as you can. Eventually (...really!), you'll begin to see progress. Our youngest is just barely 3, and she does pretty well most of the time.

3) Teach them to sit still at home, too, and praise even the smallest of true efforts.

Being still is not a bad thing for children every now and then. Sure, children need copious amounts of activity time - whether helping with chores, or engaged in learning, or just free & unstructured playtime! - but sitting still, patiently, and quietly is a life skill that needs to be worked on. Teaching them to be still in other places besides church will ensure that the request isn't a foreign concept. Storytime, snuggle time, rest time, or quiet reading time are all ways to teach them at home. And again, teach by example. Let them see you taking down time every now and again to snuggle with them, or to just read quietly.

When they do well with this at home (and at church), be sure to give them a complement. Be specific: "Abs, I really appreciated the way you sat and read to yourself so quietly just now. You're really growing in self-control!" Steer away from general, over-the-top flattery, like: "WOW!! Hannah!! You're the best sitter-stiller that I've ever met! Great job! Keep it up!!"

4) Pray with them and for them - and point them to the Word.

This is, by far, the most important piece of teaching your children to do....anything at all. Pray. Pray more, and then pray again. Pray that the Lord will work in your heart first and give you a desire to worship Him and to delight in being at church, in His presence and in the midst of the assembly of believers! Pray also that your children will also truly delight in being there and learning more about our Almighty and loving God!

Become familiar with verses about reverencing the Lord, and the assembling of His people, and the verses about being still and waiting on the Lord - and please share them with your children!! No matter how small they are!! God's Word is powerful and life-giving for all people, not just grown-ups, and your children will benefit from hearing you proclaim His truth!

Verses I've found to be a helpful starting point:

You shall keep My Sabbaths and reverence My sanctuary: I am the Lord.
{Leviticus 19:30}

Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God.
{Exodus 20:8-10}

And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.
{Hebrews 10:24-25}

Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness,
and for His wonderful works to the children of men!
Let them exalt Him also in the assembly of the people,
and praise Him in the company of the elders.
{Psalm 107:31-32}

Wait on the Lord;
be of good courage,
and He shall strengthen your heart;
wait, I say, on the Lord!
{Psalm 27:14}

Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our refuge.
{Psalm 46:10-11}

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him..
{Psalm 37:7}

What have you found to work in helping your children learn to sit through church?

Teaching my daughters,
for His glory!
~Lisha :)

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Lost in India

Over the past couple of weeks, the girls and I have been learning about India through the online adventure "Lost in India", sponsored by Mission India & Sonlight Curriculum.

www.lostinindia.org

The goal of the Lost in India project is to raise $350,000 to help children in India who have never heard about Jesus attend Children's Bible Clubs for free. The cost to send 1 child is $1. My girls have been scouring the house, looking for loose change, and even coming up with ways to earn money to contribute.

The main teaching tool is an engaging video series following the story of friends Justin & Chris, who are trying to find each other in India (Chris - an American - is lost!, and Justin - an Indian believer - is trying to get to him!). They meet other believers along the way, who share their stories and how the love of Jesus has changed their lives.

One of the stories is that of a woman named Roopa. There were two versions of her story released: one for the parents to watch, and one that was more appropriate for children to watch. If my daughters were a few years older and I believed they were mature enough, I would have allowed them to watch this one, though. It's a powerful story of suffering and the kind of forgiveness that can only come through Jesus. Please watch. and let your heart be broken for all the ways that people - who are made in the image of God - can be so easily discarded, abused, or abandoned by others. and then let your heart sing for joy that Jesus can bring beauty from devastating circumstances!

Watch her story here: Roopa's Story - Mission India
(Parents, I would preview this before letting any little -or big- ones see it)

Thanks to Lost in India, my girls and I are developing a greater love for people of other cultures, a deeper compassion for the hurting, and a more intense desire to do what we can to help the message of grace and mercy go forth to the ends of the earth (and to start here by making sure we are living like Jesus teaches us to)!

If you'd like to sign up for the Lost in India project, it is totally free (aside from what you are able to donate to the Children's Bible Club fund - but that is not mandatory). There are 8 videos in the series that you can view at anytime, family devotional thoughts, quizzes, personal stories, and ways to explore India through food, music, clothing, etc with photos, recipes, & video clips.
Watch the trailer/Sign up/find more information here: http://www.lostinindia.org/

You can check out our family's homepage if you're interested in donating through our page, or to invite your friends to help: https://www.lostinindia.org/donate/thehunters/

Sharing Jesus with the world,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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Slow days, fast years.

"There's one thing you'll find true about parenting - 

the days are so slow sometimes,

              but the years go by fast."

One of the elders at our church said this in passing to me in the weeks before we welcomed our firstborn. I had no context for grasping the depth of that statement.

I laughed it off at the time. But it is true. So achingly true.

...wait. Didn't I just bring her home from the hospital?!

Elizabeth is 7 1/2. WHAT. And after years of digestive troubles and being chronically underweight because her body wasn't handling food well...she's growing. I understand that whole "like a weed" analogy. Her appetite is robust, for the first time ever. She's sprouted about 4" in the last year, and she's finally up to a healthy weight. She is active: running, dancing, learning to ride a bike. It's been about 11 months since her cecostomy tube was put in place, and I am so thankful for the difference it's made in her quality of life. She & I pray every morning and thank the Lord profusely for modern medicine, the wisdom He gives the doctors, and the way He is healing her body day by day. Have you ever heard the prayers of a child who has learned to trust her God? It gives me goosebumps when she prays. Her prayers are often simple, direct, and out-of-this-world big.

God often reminds me through Elizabeth that my prayers can and should be more like hers - in faith that He is able, and in confidence that He will if it's what's best.

...her, too?

Abby just turned 6. For her birthday, she wanted to learn how to play "either the flute, the banjo, or the xylophone"...flute it is. She's been taking lessons for the last few weeks and is really making progress. The instructor thought maybe she'd be too young or too small to get the hang of blowing into the mouthpiece or managing the keys, and it is hard for her!, but she is learning all about the fruits of labor. When she puts in the 20 minutes a day to practice...she finds that making (the right) sound is easier and that reaching those last few keys waaaaaay down at the end of the flute comes just a little easier. I am SO thrilled for her. (And since I play the clarinet, we've been working a little to play together, and I am having a blast!) Other big milestones in the past few months: she has learned how to read. and read and read and read and read. There are few other things that will bring as much joy to my heart as hearing my children reading to me or each other. 

The Lord often reminds me through Abby that He a) enjoys the humor & sweetness of little ones, and b) I need to put aside cleaning or the computer more often and delight in these days. He also instructs me in the blessings of serving others & diligence - Abby's two most beautiful & prominent qualities.

Hannah is on the cusp of 3. For so long, her nickname has been "baby Hannah", but now - I can't call her that anymore! She is a little girl! Han is the second daughter to need extensive physical therapy, and after 2 years of it, it's hard to tell she was ever so far behind. She has mastered climbing stairs; she's also mastered talking. That was never a concern, though, in a home with two chatty older sisters. 

Her name means "grace & wisdom". I need gigantic amounts of both to parent well. She questions everything, and reminds me that my heavenly Father takes joy in my many questions and watching me grow in His care.

The last 7 1/2 years have just zipped by...one slow day at a time.

L to R, top to bottom: fall photos from each year 2006-2013!

Moms, you know what I mean. The days sometimes feel like they last for-ev-er. Especially days when you spend most of your time feeding, clothing, cleaning, correcting, rebuking, instructing, caring for a sick one, or in those seasons where you are just spiritually dry and wonder how in the world you will manage yourself, let alone little ones.

But then you blink, and they seem to age years. It makes me all the more thankful that I have eternity to look forward to - to know that even though these sweet years will soon be a memory, Lord willing I'll have forever to delight in the dear ones God blessed me with.

The verse that comes to mind is 1 Peter 3:8 - But beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. 

Does anyone else feel the years go by more quickly than the days do? How do you relish the moments and capture the years as they fly by?

Thankful for the slow days,

for His glory!

~Lisha

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No Wonder She's Not Listening

Photo by Molly Viglione Photography, 2012
www.mollyviglionephotography.blogspot.com

Abby had her annual well-child checkup on Wednesday. When the doctor came in and asked if I had any questions or concerns, I piped up. Lately, I can be standing only feet away from her, and speaking to her normally - and she completely ignores me. But not in a defiant way - just...I don't know...like she genuinely can't hear me.

I know kids can have selective hearing sometimes, but this is different.

Hmmm. He looked at the results of the hearing test the nurse had administered only 10 minutes previous: she had passed, but "certainly not with flying colors." In fact, she had just barely eeked by.

"I'll take a look," he said.

He did. "No wonder she's not listening to you," he said as he put the otoscope in the second ear, "I can't even see her eardrums. There is so much wax build up in the way."

The remedy? So easy. A warm-water-and-peroxide flush, and follow up with peroxide drops in the ear once a day for a few days. Her hearing is already improved quite a bit, because we're working to clean the blockage out.

I AM SO MUCH LIKE MY CHILDREN SOMETIMES.

How often has God pleaded with me, never far from me, only for me to not hear Him? As in, not deliberately disobeying Him, but I can't hear His still, steady voice?

What is blocking me from hearing Him?

Noise. Almost constant noise in my life. I say that I like silence, but I don't mean that. I mean I like it when I'm not being bothered - but honestly, I can't stand total silence. There is almost always some form of noise in the background. Otherwise, I might have the presence of mind to memorize and meditate on God and His Word, and hear those still, soft thoughts that keep trying to make their way past the clamor.

Perhaps it's the radio. A movie. A TV Show. Praise music. Sermons. Long chats.

"But Lisha!!!" you are thinking, "those are all good things! God speaks to us sometimes through all of those ways!"

He does - and He often does in my life, too. Those things aren't bad - unless they are keeping me from hearing His Words clearly - and sometimes, I find I rely on the radio, music, sermons, & what other people are saying about God instead of seeking His face and His heart for myself.

More often than not, I find in the Scriptures that the Lord will speak when we are willing to be still before Him, with time in His Word and in prayer. Alone. No podcasts or Pandora, no TV or talking it up with a friend. Just escaping the din and resting quietly before Him in anticipation of hearing what He has to say.

And, for me (NOTTT a morning person), for YEARS God has been asking me to be willing to rise up early in the morning. To listen to & commune sweetly with Him before my day begins. I keep trying. Most of my quiet time happens either in the afternoon when the girls have 30-ish minutes of "rest time" (or, 'please-stay-quietly-in-your-bedroom-time'), or after everyone else is in bed.

I am so grateful for the many lessons God has taught me through the ordinary moments (like cleaning wax out of little ears!) with my daughters, and how He prompts me to press on toward Jesus through His extraordinary patience & grace.

Lord, help me to cut out any noise that's keeping me from listening to You.

Do you find that you are addicted to noise and to what other people say and sing about the Lord instead of listening for Him on your own?

I want to hear Him,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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Smooth(ie) Talk

My daughters would drink smoothies at every meal, if I let them. One of their favorite "games" is 'Guess What Mommy Put In Our Smoothies!', and they are usually pretty accurate.

Sundays after church and Monday mornings are our smoothie mealtimes - when the fabulous creations are the highlight of our meal. This morning's breakfast was a banana-orange-pineapple concoction that was delicious!

I don't necessarily use recipes. It's one of the beauties of smoothies; you just kind of throw fruits/protein sources/(sometimes veggies) in a blender and - ta da! [Although, sometimes it's NOT ta-da, but EWWWWWW. I adjust & learn as I go.] It's a great way to invite one of the girls to help me in the kitchen - because there's no pressure for exacting measurements. They love to experiment with amounts and different flavors.

Here's what I used today:

2 1/2 cups of Stonyfield Farms Low-Fat Strawberry Yogurt

1 banana

1 11-oz can of mandarin oranges, drained

1 20-oz can of pineapple chunks, slightly drained

1/8ish tsp cinnamon

Steps:

1) Empty ingredients into the blender.

2) Blend.

3) Ta-da!

An overly enthusiastic "Two thumbs up!" from Abby.

Some other exceptionally tasty combinations that my girls prefer:

1) French vanilla Greek yogurt, frozen cherries, & cinnamon [This one is our absolute favorite!]

2) Blueberry yogurt, frozen mixed berries, & apple juice (just to thin it a little)

3) Blueberry yogurt, frozen peaches, & cinnamon

4) Strawberry yogurt, banana, & mango (or papaya!)

5) Plain Greek or regular yogurt, honey, cocoa powder, & cinnamon, & a little PB

I usually serve smoothies with raw veggies, sunflower seeds, peanuts, whole grain toast, or mini-muffins to make it more of a "meal".

Do you have a favorite smoothie recipe? I'd love to see it - we're always up for trying new combinations!

For His glory!

~Lisha :)

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Tea Time

Do you have a favorite time of day?

Seeing a recent Facebook post asking that question, I answered that my favorite time of day is tea time.

It's not a set time; on our schedule it most often falls around snack time (2ish), but sometimes it happens at breakfast or lunch - or if we are having a crummy day and need a "restart". Whenever it occurs, it has become a staple in my -and my daughters' - day. They are 7, 6, and almost 3.

I call "tea time in 15 minutes!" and put the kettle on. We use real mugs. Sometimes, the girls dress up "fancy" and set the table with "fancy" saucers (salad plates), too. There is often a small treat (mini-muffins, fruit, etc). I usually cheat a little and have coffee instead, and Elizabeth likes peppermint (or chocolate mint) tea; Abby likes rosehip & hibiscus tea; Hannah loves lemon tea. Or for a real treat, I make a round of vanilla chai for everyone. A little sugar or honey sweetens things just enough.

And we sit and talk about big ideas. Or giggle. Or sing goofy songs together. It's 20-ish minutes of time to connect with my girls. Time for them to get to know me better, and for me to be surprised by the young ladies they are so quickly becoming!

In the midst of the day's demands and urgencies, I'm often quick to forget that the little girls I'm instructing, correcting, & directing will some day be grown - and if I hope to have a close relationship with them as adults, I need to nurture that now by enjoying time with them.

It won't last forever - the "little girl" stage, I mean. But for now, I thank God for tea time with three of the most precious ladies-in-training I'll ever know; praying that in another twenty years there will be similar tea times with three precious women.

A recent tea time, while on vacation!

What is your favorite time of the day?

Taking tea with my daughters,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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Get back up!

My two older daughters are now the ecstatic owners of their very first bicycles. (Thank you Papa & Gigi for the bicycles and Grampy & Grammy for the helmets!)

Abby and her new bike!

Their excitement was put on hold for a bit, when they were faced with the reality of how much work goes into learning how to ride.

...and how much it hurts to fall down.

...and how much it takes to keep getting back up every time, get back on, and try again.

They are still really excited - don't get me wrong! As soon as their school work is complete (who am I kidding? Pretty much right after breakfast is done, really), they are begging to get their helmets on and get back out on their bikes. They are motivated to learn. The end goal (riding with no training wheels!) is just TOO appealing to not keep at the task. Even if it means learning how to ride, and learning how to fall and get back up.

Elizabeth & her new bike!

Do you ever get the sense that the Lord is specifically speaking TO you when He is speaking through you to your children?! That's how He gets some of His most significant messages across to me, it seems. More than once today, I had to remind my girls that learning to ride is hard; that it takes practice; and that trying to ride means learning to fall and get back up again - but the reward will be worth it.


Life. There's a lot of work that goes into learning how to live.

...and it hurts to fall down.

...and it takes so much to keep getting back up every time, and get back into it, and try again.

but!

Knowing that eternity with Jesus awaits, the end goal is just TOO appealing to not keep at the task.

Even if it means learning how to live, and learning how to fall and get back up.

************************
And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. [Galatians 6:9]

My soul still remembers

and sinks within me.

This I recall to my mind,

therefore I have hope.

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,

because His compassions fail not.

They are new every morning;

great is Your faithfulness.

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,

“Therefore I hope in Him!”

[Lamentations 3:20-24]

Getting back up and trying again every day,

for His glory!

~Lisha

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