Haven or Hollywood?

Is your home more like a heavenly haven or Hollywood? Does your vision for your home include being a place of rest & caring for people, or merely entertaining them with dazzling decorative & culinary skills?

Entertaining says "Hi! I'm glad you came! Look at the tasty food I've prepared for you. Look at the way I can decorate. Look at my house. Look at how beautiful my life is. Come in, and compliment me on all of these things."

image: shutterstock

Hospitality says "Come on in. Put your feet up. Would you like a cup of tea? How have you been? Can I pray for you? Let me be an encouragement however I can. Your heart is precious to the Lord, and it delights me to help you remember that!"

I'm a people-pleaser. And I am an approval-seeker. For so long, I wanted to entertain people. To give them something to oooh and aaaah about when they came to my home. And, early on in our marriage, I sometimes did not invite people in if the house was not clean...I wasn't as concerned with hearts as I was with what they thought of my home. What a shame!

Does it mean that fancy dinner parties and planned get-togethers are wrong? No! Does it mean that we should sit around chatting and sipping tea with other ladies all day, every day? ...no! It means that you & I need to earnestly seek the Lord & His word daily and have a heart and a schedule that are flexible and willing to minister with an others-focus when He asks. And, as I'm learning right now, that my first priority is to be hospitable to my own family. To make sure that I am speaking (with words & actions) to my husband "Come on in! Put your feet up! Tell me about your day...." rather than, "Hi! Glad you're home! Did you see all the hard work I did today? Look at how hard I'm working to clean well." To make sure that my children feel that home is a haven, and that I delight in reminding them often that their hearts and needs and struggles are precious to the Lord.

It means that whether we're inviting people in to our houses or out to breakfast, visiting family or vacationing abroad, chatting on the phone or chipping in to help in our community, you & I need to be in constant communion with the Father, asking Him to reveal how to have a love for each person He puts in our paths.

If believers stopped entertaining and started administering true, biblical, radical hospitality in their homes, workplaces, and communities - oh! Think of the hearts and lives that could be healed and the hope that would be kindled, because of the love of Jesus having priority over making ourselves look good!

Here are some of the resources that radically altered my idea of what "Christian hospitality" should look like:

Strategic Hospitality - sermon by John Piper
Open Heart, Open Home by Karen Mains
My Heart's at Home by Jill Savage
"Ever Met an Angel?" - article by John MacArthur

God is teaching me how to make sure my heart & home are a haven for His love. What has He been showing you in this area?

Embracing hospitality,
for His glory!
~Lisha

I may be sharing this post at the following homemaking Link-up parties!

{If this post has encouraged, inspired, or blessed you, please comment or share with a friend!}

Tea Time

Do you have a favorite time of day?

Seeing a recent Facebook post asking that question, I answered that my favorite time of day is tea time.

It's not a set time; on our schedule it most often falls around snack time (2ish), but sometimes it happens at breakfast or lunch - or if we are having a crummy day and need a "restart". Whenever it occurs, it has become a staple in my -and my daughters' - day. They are 7, 6, and almost 3.

I call "tea time in 15 minutes!" and put the kettle on. We use real mugs. Sometimes, the girls dress up "fancy" and set the table with "fancy" saucers (salad plates), too. There is often a small treat (mini-muffins, fruit, etc). I usually cheat a little and have coffee instead, and Elizabeth likes peppermint (or chocolate mint) tea; Abby likes rosehip & hibiscus tea; Hannah loves lemon tea. Or for a real treat, I make a round of vanilla chai for everyone. A little sugar or honey sweetens things just enough.

And we sit and talk about big ideas. Or giggle. Or sing goofy songs together. It's 20-ish minutes of time to connect with my girls. Time for them to get to know me better, and for me to be surprised by the young ladies they are so quickly becoming!

In the midst of the day's demands and urgencies, I'm often quick to forget that the little girls I'm instructing, correcting, & directing will some day be grown - and if I hope to have a close relationship with them as adults, I need to nurture that now by enjoying time with them.

It won't last forever - the "little girl" stage, I mean. But for now, I thank God for tea time with three of the most precious ladies-in-training I'll ever know; praying that in another twenty years there will be similar tea times with three precious women.

A recent tea time, while on vacation!

What is your favorite time of the day?

Taking tea with my daughters,
for His glory!
~Lisha

I may be linking this post to these uplifting Link-up parties!

[If this post has encouraged, blessed, or inspired you, please comment or share this with a friend!]

An ideal family portrait

Getting a perfect family picture can be difficult, especially if you don't have a vision for what the picture should look like. And even if you do have a crystal-clear vision for what you are looking for in that family portrait - it doesn't always come out just so! But that doesn't mean you give up and abandon the vision!

When you 'confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.' [Romans 10:9], you become part of a forever spiritual family; when you find and join a Bible-believing church, you become part of a local family that is called to be a small-scale example of the global church. As a local (...and global!) family of believers, we have a vision of what the picture of our family snapshot should look like - it's described in the Scriptures! Though we will never be a perfect family on this side of Heaven, we can and should do our utmost to work toward the vision, with the hope that all people might come to love our Father and follow His Son, Jesus! Our pastor just did a wonderful three-week series on what that ideal family picture looks like for our church; if you're curious what you'd find if you visited us, please listen here:

Sermon #1: Who We Are {09/01/2013}

Sermon #2: How We Behave {09/08/2013}

Sermon #3: Why Are We Here? {09/15/2013}

Our church 'family portrait' may not look exactly like yours, but if you attend a Christ-following, Bible-preaching church, there are likely to be quite a few things we have in common! And even though there are differences in convictions, we can extend grace in those areas and know that we are still part of the same big, eternal family in Christ!

If you've got questions about what you've heard in these sermons, ask them! Honest, respectful questions (even if they are difficult!) are always welcome! How is your local church (if you attend one) similar? different?

Part of God's family,

for His glory!

~Lisha :)

I may be sharing this post at one of the following Link-up parties!

[If this post has inspired, blessed, or encouraged you, please comment or share with your friends!]

Where the rubber meets the highway (or: lessons learned on the road)

What has:

2,600 miles

15 stops with various friends and relations

11 states

6 boxes of cereal

5 travel bags (most of which are full of food & diapers)

4 weeks

3 girls

and

1 tired/thrilled mom?

A 2012 Very Hunter Summer Road Trip, that's what!!

Our route!

We left town on July 19th and did not get home until August 15th. The girls & I visited friends and family in Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, New York, Pennsylvania, Virginia, New Jersey, and Connecticut. There were many sweet memories and fun & impromptu field trips. There were some unexpected delays in travel (severe rain, a full-blown diaper disaster in the carseat, construction, a logging truck accident, and getting lost in both DC & NYC, among others...).

Quiet reading time with my cousins in VT!

I got to reminisce with dear high school and college friends, stay up late with cousins, aunts & uncles I don't get to see often, and to meet a online friend for real! We got to worship the Lord with dear brothers & sisters in northern Vermont and southern Pennsylvania. The girls did a little exploring in the cold ocean waters in Maine and swam in the warm ocean waters of Virginia Beach. They got to ride 4-wheelers with Grandaddy, go kayaking with Grammy & Grampy, and pick their own fresh fruits and veggies from Gram's very own garden. We rode a coal train in PA with Will's Gram. Feeding worms was a hit; painting birdhouses with Auntie Kimm was too; so was playing with all kinds of new toys at other friends' houses. We ate a lot of chicken nuggets and pizza and hot dogs (no complaints at all from the taste-testing department...!) It was a lovely, memorable, exhausting, so-glad-I-did-it-but-it'll-take-a-while-before-I'm-ready-to-drive-on-the-highway-again kind of trip!

E &A, in Casco Bay ME

I had a lot of time to think. Driving between 3-6 hours in between most stops with girls mostly content in the back seats left plenty of opportunities to pray and to listen to the Lord. I thought, initially, that this trip was going to be a 'school on the road' type opportunity for the girls and that it would be a chance for us to catch up with so many people that we don't see often enough.

Ready to head out on the road...again!

But that's not all the Lord had in store for us. It did happen that by the time we got home, I felt like we'd been doing school for about a month already :) and I did get to catch up with people who are so dear to my heart. And in the midst of all of that, here are some lessons the Lord had for me:

*I don't like not knowing where I am, or where I'm going. Jesus kept reminding me of the verse I have over my kitchen sink at home to calm my nervous heart (especially in Washington DC and New York City - eeeek, of all places to be lost!): Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. [Joshua 1:9] Wherever I go. Even in a city I'm not familiar with. Even on Pennsylvania Avenue (which is where we ended up on accident in DC!). No matter where I am, physically or spiritually - Jesus is with me wherever I go. I need not be afraid! There is such freedom in that truth!

This...is not where I was supposed to be!

...neither was this. Impromptu national history lesson
with a captive audience in the back rows!

*As much as I wanted to minister to other people, He used them powerfully to minister to me in ways that I couldn't have imagined. I got to wash dishes and fold laundry and hold babies and do a few other tasks for the families I stayed with, thinking I was being so helpful; and in return, I was challenged, encouraged, and built up in my faith in Christ!

The girls adore their Grandaddy! At Hunter Farm in VA

Hanging out in the "hampster" (hammock...) at
Mr. Tim & Miss Ashley's!

*Life is too short to wait until there's enough time and/or money. There are so many reasons why it seemed like a bad idea to take a 12-year-old rickety Windstar on the road by myself with three little girls with only a few hundred dollars in cash. I had a list of things I could have spent that money on: paying down debt, ordering homeschooling books, putting it in savings, etc. But the trip was so very worth every moment and every dollar spent. I am thankful that Will encouraged me to go!!

Enjoying a beautiful afternoon with Nana (Will's Gram!)
just before taking a ride on the coal train in PA.

*I have a lot to learn from other people - especially when they believe differently than I do! I know this seems like it should be a no-brainer, but sometimes it's easy for me to forget. Paul went to Athens to preach, but he wasn't ignorant of the Greek culture and belief systems there. Listening to the whys and hows of different beliefs broadens my perspective. It strengthened my faith to be challenged by hearing about other religions and by being asked honest and hard questions about my own beliefs!

FRESH raspberries from Gram's garden!

* Life in NH can continue without me. Whoa! This was a hard lesson for my ego. I'm so used to being involved in different capacities outside our home. And what a refreshing reminder for my soul that it is the Lord who is in charge, not me! He is perfectly capable of guiding things quite well in my absence (and, incidentally, when I'm around!). He gently reminded me that my main priority right now is the care and keeping of my family, and that some outside ministry opportunities can wait for another season!

Chillin' at Grammy & Grampy Lane's cabin in ME!

*Will is still my best friend. After being on the road for a month without him, and spending time with friends, relatives - some of whom I consider very close to me - I realized that even my closest friends do not know me as well as he does after all these years (12! wowee!). If something came up that reminded me of Will, and I thought "oh! He'd think that was funny/cute/ridiculous/whatever", ...I'd miss being able to turn to him right away and say that. By the time I left our last stop I had butterflies in my tummy and I was so giggly and just wanted to get home to him and share everything about the last month and hear all about how he had been. After 8 years of being married and having 3 kids, it's really easy to forget that hey, we used to like just hanging out and being around each other and that we were friends before we were husband & wife. It was sweet to be reminded of that.

At the welcome center in PA! Smile!

Before we left for the trip, I was terrified by the what-ifs. What if we break down? What if we run out of money? What if one of the girls gets sick? etc. But Will encouraged me to go, and I'm so glad that he did. 

Virginia Beach!

What if I hadn't? I would have missed out on sweet conversations, treasured memories, and the lessons that God had for me out on the road.

Feeding the worms at Mr. Iain & Miss Erin's house!!

What discoveries & lessons have you made on your travels & journeys? 

And...back home!

A pilgrim just traveling along,

for His glory!

~Lisha :)

It is better to give than receive. Really!

This year, I finally got to go on the JBC Ladies' Retreat. It is a weekend that I have looked forward to for two years now; a chance to leave Will & the girls at home and spend more than 15 minutes (like I do every Sunday after church!) chatting with and being encouraged by the ladies that I have gone to church with for the last 7 years. 

Expectations for a life-changing weekend were high. Every retreat/conference type meeting I have been to since I accepted Jesus as my Savior has excited me and revolutionized my life. So I couldn't wait for what God was going to show me. I packed my Bible and my notebook, my hopes and expectations, my Keene State hoodie and two favorite blankets (hey! it's getting cold out!!), other necessary going-away-for-a-weekend type things, and an Iced Coffee...away I went! 

The woman who spoke did a marvelous job. She is so concise and clear when she speaks. God has given her the ability to communicate His truth to women, in both large groups and in a one-on-one setting. I am so thankful for her in my life!! I was so ready to receive whatever nuggets of amazing truth God had laid on her heart. 

The first session was focused on why and how various trials come into our lives. Sometimes our trials are to strengthen our character and our faith; sometimes it's so that people can look at us and notice the love, joy and peace of Christ in the midst of hardship; sometimes it is so that we can reach out to others who are going through what we've already experienced; always it is for us to glorify the Lord. Trials can come from Satan, but that is not always the case. Sometimes, our own blatant disobedience can result in trials, and sometimes the Lord Himself allows us to go through trials to cause us to become more like His Son. (Lisha's short n sweet version...the real thing was much better!) 

...and to be so very honest, I didn't really feel that I needed to be told that. No big revelation there, Lord. I'm in the middle of it. God has been good to show me different reasons why He has given and taken my youngest child from me. 

But there were two more sessions, and 24 more hours! Plenty of time for a life-changing moment!! 

I got to meet some godly women that I didn't really know that well while we had dinner (and it was a fabulous dinner!). Then, off to the next session! The message was about how very, very, very much God loves me. 

...and I was slightly disappointed. "God," went the one-sided conversation, "I didn't need to be reminded of that, either. Really. I have been overwhelmed by the depth of Your love that You have poured out on me through my friends and family in these last few weeks. I know You love me. I have not doubted that. When am I going to get my life-changing message? What do you have to teach me this weekend? Is there something I'm just missing?" 

The evening was fun. We did lots of crafty activities. I learned how to make lip balm and bath salts and we made pancake, cookie, and soup mixes to take home, followed by ice cream sundaes and about 3 hours of chatting about amusing high school memories with one of the ladies that I went to CHS with, mixed in with conversations with the "younger women" (not really part of that crowd anymore! Eeek! :-O ) about their life dreams and ambitions. Overall it was a great evening! 

6:00AM came, and I was awake for it. (WHAT?! My weekend away from the kiddos...who usually sleep in until 9:30...and I was up at 6, on my own?! Gooooooooood gravy!) I laid in bed, trying to thank God for being able to watch the sky lighten up, and my heart, mind and spirit were confuzzled about all of the things I had been pondering the previous day. 

There was a prayer walk (which turned into a prayer sit on the rocks, because the grass was so wet and cold that our shoes got soaked through!) which was beautiful and breakfast which was oatmeal. (Did you know that people make their oatmeal with milk instead of water? That was something I did learn this weekend. Hmm.) Session three focused on the story of the prodigal son (see Luke 15 if you're not familiar with the story). We focused on the reaction of the father and the older son to the actions and return of the younger (prodigal) son. I learned a couple of interesting facts, and gained a new perspective of a story I've read a few times. But there was no "OOOOH! I get it now!!" moment. "Golly," I thought, "should I have even come?" 

During our down time that followed lunch (um. I almost choked at lunchtime. Praise God for putting some nurses at my table. Like, 3 of them! Two on either side of me and one on the other side of the table! Really! Slightly embarrassing, choking on a wayward crouton. But I digress.), I was speaking with a lady who is very dear to me, and has known me much longer than I've been a Christian. I was telling her about my lack of "aha!" moment and how I was waiting for it. She mentioned that sometimes, in her experience, that moment won't hit for days, maybe weeks. Months. Years. Quite concievably there will be a season in my life when I don't see why God has brought a certain trial to my life, or maybe that I could forget just how much God loves me, and I will remember what I have heard here. 

Ok. I could believe that. But I was still bummed that my life hadn't been changed much. I didn't feel like I had gotten much out of the weekend. 

We gathered for our last session, which was a time to share anything we wanted about the weekend. I had heard that last year's reflection time was outstanding and moving, and so I was anticipating my aha moment here. There were meaningful lessons shared. I was thankful to hear what God had done in other hearts, but still I didn't hear anything that I really, deeply related to. 

We packed up and left. It was a quiet ride home for me. I mulled things over, replayed the weekend in my mind, and tried so hard to figure out what I had learned. And I couldn't come up with anything. The fault had to lie with me, because, you understand, God is perfect in all His ways, and I am not. Thus, if I felt I was missing or lacking, one of two things was happening: 1) God had provided all that I was lacking, and I had utterly missed it, or 2) what I thought I was lacking, I wasn't actually lacking at all. (Does that make sense? I hope so; it makes sense to me.) 

So...fast forward to about 10pm last night. The girls were in bed, so Will and I finally were talking about our weekends without being interrupted! I unloaded all that was on my heart about the retreat, and in doing so, I was gently reminded of a saying that one of our dear friends had shared with us a few weeks ago. It is something to the effect of: We shouldn't be going to church (or in my case, a retreat) to get anything. People who go to church (retreats) looking for something usually end up unfulfilled. You go to give. Give God the worship He deserves for the work He is doing in your heart. Give others the encouragement they might need. Give others a compassionate shoulder to cry on. Give tired moms a break. Give of your time and service to nourish weary bodies and souls. Jesus didn't come to get. Jesus came to give. God gives us all good things, not because He gets, but because He loves us. 

And then I felt really stupid. I had totally gone with the intention of getting, and did not even think about what I could be giving. There are women who spent their whole weekend giving, and you could tell by Sunday evening because their physical apprearance practically screamed at me how tired they were but they were rejoicing at how awesome the weekend was. 

So I've been feeling stupid for pretty much all day today, having this conversation with the Lord that goes on and on, and like this: "Sooooo, now, Lord, I feel like I wasted a weekend to serve You because I was so self-absorbed in my trial and in how much You love me that I forgot to pass it on!" and He, being the patient and merciful God that He is, has been speaking to my heart all day: "I still love you. Take what you learned and start passing it on, right now. Start giving; it's not too late!" 

As I was tucking Elizabeth and Abby in, I got my big aha! moment. I let God prompt me to hold each of them so close and tell them how much God loves them. That He will never, ever, leave them, no matter what bad choices they make, no matter how many times they sin, no matter where they are. That they can never, ever get away from how much Jesus loves them. That the same God who created all of heaven and earth created Elizabeth Grace and Abigail Ruth fearfully and wonderfully. I got to pass on that which I already knew, that I have known for so long, but had never really taken the time to pass it on to my babies because I took that knowledge for granted. I needed this weekend to be reminded that I have been given the responsibility to share His love with two precious little girls who need to know His unconditional love toward them! 

Mommy, E, & A...Spring 2010

I'm glad to report then, that my weekend, though it may have seemed it at the time, was indeed not a waste. Many, many thanks to a God who is gracious and merciful, abounding in love and slow to anger with me!! And thanks to the beautiful and godly women who let God work through them in a powerful way, whether or not they can see it now. Thanks for passing on God's love and for being His hands, His feet, His heart, and His eyes! May God continue to renew and rejuvenate your hearts this week. Thanks for speaking the truth, in love, to a heart that needed to hear it. To God be the glory! :) 

"Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." 
-Romans 5:1-5