Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

3.13.2014

How to Involve Your Kids in Missions

**Warning**
Involving your children in missions when they are young and eager to follow Jesus uninhibitedly may result in your children living a life that is sold out for the Gospel of Jesus, to see His glory made known everywhere, no matter where it leads them.

What are some ways to encourage your children to be involved with missions, even if you live in AnyTown, AnyCountry, with no desire or immediate plans to move?


In our home in SmallTown USA, here's what I'm learning as I go as I invite my three girls to learn more about missions:

1) Introduce -and keep talking about- the God of glory, as He reveals Himself through Scripture.

Start at the beginning and teach your children that God's plan from the beginning (and even before the beginning!!) was to redeem a people for Himself from every nation, tribe, and tongue - for His glory!! - and that He loves ALL people groups EVERYWHERE and asks us to join Him in bringing the gospel of Jesus Christ to them! When they see that God is a missionary God from Genesis to Revelation (and down through the millenia!), hopefully they will catch the vision that they should be a missionary people because they are His, no matter where He has put them.

If this is an unfamiliar idea to you, please find a Perspectives course near you! It's a 15-week course on the glory of God and the biblical mandate for and history of worldwide missions - and it is fascinating & convicting!

(Really awesome activity: Search the phrases "all the peoples", "all the families", and "all nations" [in the NKJV. It might vary slightly in other translations] at a site like BibleGateway and you'll find that God has the whole world on His mind and heart from the beginning, threaded all the way through the Bible. He's serious about His glory being made known, and people from everywhere worshiping Him forever. Those should be our passions, too.)

2) Pray for missionaries, and...

3) Pray for people groups, countries, and governments!

Pray with your children, and let them pray as they are led, too. If you need some direction on how to or who to pray for, contact your church leadership (if your church supports any missionaries) or get books like Operation World and Window on the World to focus your prayers. Also, at your discretion, let your children know about major world events and leaders, so that they can pray more effectively. If you see their prayers answered in the news, tell them and keep a written record. We're not told to pray just because it's good for us - we are told to pray because God works when we do!

My 7 year old made this Croatian flag to remind her to pray
for the people of Croatia, and for our summer missionary
who is headed there in August.
Another opportunity: if your children can write or dictate letters or emails to the missionaries or government officials they are praying for, let them! It's probably a huge encouragement to missionaries to hear that they're remembered back home, and it's probably nice for leaders to receive mail that asks for nothing but lets them know they are being prayed for.

4) Model missions giving or going.

Do you include giving to missionaries in your budget? If so, let your kids see that. If not, why not? If reaching the world for Jesus is a priority for your heart, it should probably be a priority for your budget if at all possible - and if it really can't be (we've been there!), then spend your time instead: volunteering/going on a short term trip with one or more of your children/just striking up conversations with those closest to you about the Lord are some ways that you can be investing in missions yourself. And if God has clearly asked you to go somewhere for Him: GO. Don't think you can slide by with just giving money to the cause and staying put, like He will overlook your disobedience. If He calls you, follow His lead. Children are notorious for following what they see being modeled in their lives!

5) Let them help - let them lead.

Our church is sending out seven short-term missionaries this summer. When my daughters heard this, they asked if they could raise money for all of them. We added up the amount that is needed to raise, decided that yes! God is capable of providing every last dollar!, and then I let them brainstorm a list of ways to raise money. I did not rule anything out (although we did chat about the feasibility of some of the ideas and how to improve on them: 'let's put all of our toys out on display in our bedroom and lots of people can come into our room and shop, like a store!') - and then they each picked a project.

A few of the fabrics A picked out for the dolly skirts!
Right now, I am cutting up fabric for 18" dolly skirts that Abby will help me sew together and Elizabeth is planning to make a series of greeting cards & prints. I am doing whatever I can to help as needed (as in, I run a sewing machine much more effectively than the girls do!), but they know they are responsible for seeing this through and thinking through the advertising and the budget for materials. Whether they contribute $5.00 or $500...I am praying that God will show me how to encourage them to make a difference where they are.

6) Study the lives of faithful missionaries with your children.

From the Old Testament, up through today. And don't forget (with discretion) looking at the lives of those in the persecuted church...the ones who are risking their very lives for the sake of God's glory being known in a way that we cannot fully comprehend. (Check out the Voice of the Martyrs for more information)

Some amazing books about missionaries:
(for younger listeners & readers)
I Heard Good News Today by Cornelia Lehn <---far and away, my favorite so far
Missionary Stories with the Millers by Mildred Martin
The Christian Heroes Then & Now series (by Geoff & Janet Benge)
Hero Tales by Dave & Neta Jackson
And the Word Came With Power by Joanne Shetler

(for older readers - high school & up)
Foxe's Book of Martyrs by John Foxe
Bruchko by Bruce Olson
God's Smuggler by Brother Andrew
No Compromise: The Life Story of Keith Green by Melody Green
Through Gates of Splendor by Elisabeth Elliot
Susanna Wesley by Charles Ludwig {Susanna was not a missionary per se, but her faithfulness to raise her children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord gave the world both Charles and John Wesley, whom God used mightily. There are plenty of other faithful mothers you could look up, as well! Being missions-minded doesn't mean you have to go overseas; it means you need to be faithful to point people to Him no matter where you are.}

7) Live perfected in Christ.

Not "live perfectly in Christ", but perfected. You are complete in Him, with everything that you need pertaining to life and godliness; thoroughly equipped for every good work; and He is continually working in you and has prepared good works for you to walk in. When you live perfected, your life will exude grace and deep joy (whether in calm or stormy seasons) and it will be a reflection of His glory and goodness and it will be infectious in your home - and your children will take that and spread it wherever God leads them.

Is there any guarantee that you or your children will want to be overseas missionaries to unreached peoples if you do all of this? Not necessarily. But it does mean that you will be giving them a chance to find out which kind of gospel work God has for them: whether here, or in a far-off land - because God invites each of His children to partner with Him in taking the Gospel everywhere for His glory!

May it all be
for His glory!
~Lisha

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2.14.2014

Blogging about life, or living to blog?

 *click*

*click*


*click* *click* *click*

{that was the sound of me, playing with the new camera we got for Christmas, while we were out on a family walk}

"Lish, I love you.

...but don't be that person."

"...? Hmm?"

"Don't be like that. The person who is so busy taking pictures of everything and wanting to blog about it and not just enjoying us."


"Oh."

Quietly, I placed my camera in my coat pocket and tried to be 'all there' for the rest of our walk. It was a gorgeous January afternoon (Sunny! Not snowing! Crisp, but not cold!), and Will got home from work early that day, and wanted to take a family walk. A walk that included all of us enjoying the moment - not four of us enjoying it and one lagging behind to capture it for a post about family time.

It was hard to be "all there". Sometimes, as a mom who blogs, I think about things in terms of "how do I chronicle this?"

Recipes = do I need to take pictures at various stages?
Homeschooling = should I snap a photo of this experiment-gone-wrong?
Homemaking = ooh! Neat trick...grab the camera!
Field trips = play-by-play in photos of the whole experience!
...and so on.

and I'm guilty of interrupting the moment, just to capture it on film...instead of seriously drinking it in.

Jesus did not come that I might blog abundantly. He came so that His glory would be on display in my life - by giving me thousands of opportunities to live abundantly.

When my blogging about life becomes my living for the blog....something's very off.

Do you blog about life, or live for your blog? How do you balance it?

Learning to blog about life,
and not live to blog,
~Lisha

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2.09.2014

My daughters, my sisters

Photo by Molly Viglione Photography, 2013
Before we had children, I read Tedd Tripp's book "Shepherding a Child's Heart". It revolutionized my idea of what parenting is by conforming it to God's idea for what parenting should be, and has shaped most of my decisions and interactions as a mom.

My daughters were given to my husband and I, not so we could have temporary lordship over them, and get a kick out of telling them what to do and how to live - it was because the Lord was pleased to let us work alongside Him in raising up world-changing disciples for Jesus who are capable of thriving and growing after we are gone. 

One of the relationships that a believer has with other believers is that of a sibling relationship. Over and over in the New Testament, we are reminded that we are to treat fellow believers as brothers and sisters (or, better, if you have had a crummy relationship with your actual siblings!).

Romans 8:29 - Jesus is the firstborn (the rightful heir) among many siblings! Anyone who has believed on the Lord Jesus Christ has been adopted into the family of God - we are all spiritual brothers & sisters. 
1 Timothy 5:1-2 - Paul's instructions to Timothy on how the believers are to treat one another! Treat...'the younger women as sisters, with all purity'.
1 Peter 3:8-9 - treat the brethren (believers) with a tender heart and courtesy, returning blessing for evil. When my girls are rude, disrespectful, wretched...I am to be a blessing to them, not mean toward them.
1 Corinthians 2:1-5 - I included this because Paul is speaking to his brethren (believers). I try to keep this passage in my mind when dealing with my girls: so that they may know that I am not parenting in human wisdom but that their faith should be solely in God's wisdom and power. Parenting is not a power play; it is a guiding role.

My daughters, if I am raising them in the truths of Scripture and covering them with prayers {and they are made alive in Christ by the Spirit!}, will be my sisters in the Lord - equals, as far as the Lord is concerned. I am not a better Christian than they are; I am to act toward them like an older, wiser, loving sister. The relationship I have to them as sisters will extend beyond the years as the authority figure/mom; I must plan for and parent in light of that.

Now, as their mom, I need to remember that in addition, the Lord has called me to train them to obey, trust, and grow in character. I am not their 'sister' in the sense that I'm their best friend and can let them get away with whatever. No, God's calling for parents is clear. I do not train my girls to obey Will and I because we are worthy to be obeyed in our own right; I train them to obey because if they will not obey us, they are not likely to obey the Lord when He speaks to them. I don't train my girls in good character qualities so my life will be easier and I can take them out in public with confidence; I train them in good character so that no matter what the Lord calls them to later on, they will have a foundation of character on which to build, so that His name will be honored.

But how does my knowledge that these are my younger sisters in the faith change our day-to-day relationship?
-It means that I will think twice before berating them for making my life more difficult when they mess up as they are learning. It is a sacred responsibility and joy to take the time to teach my 'little sisters' everything from studying the Word, to cooking, to dusting, to managing conflict among themselves. 
-It means that I take the time to share with them what I'm learning from my own quiet time - in an age-appropriate way. For my preschooler, that might look like "God is showing me that He is always faithful!"; for my older girls it might be "see this verse here that I read? It means that no matter what is happening, even if I think it's bad, that He can be trusted to do the right thing!"
-It means that sometimes, I am just goofy with them instead of hounding them to be quiet/stop making messes/sit down/etc. Rather than seeing the girls as a management project, I delight in their company, because  they are each created in the image of God, born for an eternal purpose! 
-It means that I purpose to speak to them with the same respect I would extend to any other adult.
-It means that when they start talking about their dreams, I put everything down ASAP and listen. I want to let them know that I will do whatever I can to help them find out what God has planned for them, and that I am behind them all the way.
-It means that when I see a glaring character flaw or sin issue in one of my girls, I don't complain about how much it affects me and makes my job harder. I swiftly go to battle on my knees on her behalf, and I find a way to point her to Jesus and what His word has to say for her specific need.
-It means that when my girls take the time to minister to me, I don't just flippantly respond, 'oh, that's so cute!'. I thank them earnestly for their encouragement, and I praise the Lord for speaking to me through their lives.

I am not just trying to limp my way through managing children day in and day out for the next 15 years, until all the girls are 18 and "no longer my responsibility!". With the Lord's help, vision, and direction, I am investing my days to disciple a new generation of passionate women for Christ; and when they are grown, my goal is to walk alongside them through joys and sorrows, and offer counsel as a dear friend and sister.

They'll always be my little girls :)
Photo by Molly Viglione Photography, 2013.
Elizabeth, Abby, & Hannah will always be my little girls. They are, as the Psalmist says, 'a heritage' and 'a reward' {Psalm 127:3}. I will cherish the little years for my lifetime - it is a terrific calling to shepherd little hearts and watch them grow in grace and knowledge. But my years in the hands-on mothering role are fleeting. From now, and for eternity, they will be my sisters in Christ, and I want to parent with that in mind always.

How does the truth that your children will someday be your siblings in the Lord change how you treat them?

Shepherding my daughters,
loving my sisters,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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11.12.2013

Unfulfilled dreams?


Photo credit: Molly Viglione Photography 2013
Sometimes I feel like a few of my big dreams have gone unfufilled,
but then I remember that God is not limited to my dreams for me.
Something that I've been wrestling is this:
would God give me a dream - a desire of my heart -  that He does not intend to fulfill?!

It's easy to run to a verse like Psalm 37:4 where it says 'He will give you the desires of your heart'. The old "build your theology around and hang your hopes on a single verse" - which is always, always a bad idea. Always. The idea that God is bound to give me whatever my little heart desires is just not in line with all the rest of Scripture. (Remember, Scripture also says the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked above all things {Jeremiah 17:9}...so how do those two verses mesh?)

Without reading the verses around it, or taking in the whole counsel of God, I'd feel kind of iffy about God's ability to keep His Word, because truth be told, I have unfulfilled dreams in my heart.

At least, on the surface, I think I do. For example-

I want to be loved. I mean, LOVED!, by my husband. In the way that Christ loved His church and gave Himself up for her. I want to feel cherished, treasured, defended, taken care of, and valued - every day, all the time! But marriage has difficult seasons, and some days are just no-good and terrible. There have been years of our marriage when we have both felt lonely & empty for a myriad of reasons. It's not what either of us had dreamed up when we said we do for better or worse. But what about that longing to be loved? Has God forgotten about my heart?

Since I was in 4th grade, I've wanted to be a teacher. A middle school math teacher - yes, you saw that correctly. I am crazy, and I did write middle school math teacher. :) I taught in an excellent school for just 2 years before our oldest daughter was born. I have not regretted a day of being home with my daughters, but I often wish that I could have some way to connect with middle school students and impact their lives somehow in a school-type setting. God gave me the ability to teach - did He put me on the shelf when I started having children?

And I'd love to have a home full to bursting with little ones. Before Elizabeth was even thought of, I had a list of 14 names (first & middle) that I knew I just had to use some day. We've got three amazingly beautiful daughters, and one baby that we never really got to know. For now, three is just right; my days are full and resources seem limited with the ones we have - but I can't help the disappointment each month that comes when I realize that there will not be another little one, at least this time around. After almost a decade of being married, I'd hoped by now to have 5 or 6 sweet ones to kiss and squeeze and sing to and love on. God says over and over that children are a blessing, and I'm willing to receive as many as He'll give...why isn't He taking me up on that?

I've been praying for these dreams to come true for years. and that feels like a long time to wait!!

I was driving home from grocery shopping (alone) the other night and taking the opportunity to ask the Lord why, if He'd given me these desires, He wasn't fulfilling them. The desires I have are good ones, so how come my life doesn't look the way I think it should?!

My daughter, He started, you're not seeing everything the way I see it.

If you felt loved and secure all of the time by your husband, you wouldn't need to seek Me and My heart for you. You wouldn't depend on and abide in My love for you. I fulfill your desire to be loved when you spend time with Me and let Me remind you how precious you are. Don't look to man to love you - look to Me. And you'll be able to love him generously out of the overflow of My love, no matter what the years bring.

You are a teacher. I've given you three little girls who will one day be young ladies and they are learning from you, day in and day out. All those years of formal training were for a purpose. And I've placed you in a church with a thriving middle & high school outreach! I've given you the best of both worlds - you don't have to fill out report cards or attend staff meetings AND you get to impact the young ladies you love by speaking into their lives and taking them out for breakfast. And what about tutoring? I've given you that outlet so you can help them with math - while working from home.


And what's this talk about wanting more children? I've given you four - which is an infinite treasure!  If I never bless you with another, you have riches untold already. And how do you know I'm never going to call you to adopt, or foster, or carry another little one? There's still time! But not now, my dear. And what about all of the young ladies in your life whom you love like daughters? Just because they don't live under your roof doesn't mean you can't love them, too. 

Sometimes, He fulfills our dreams quite plainly for us. Or He may do it in a roundabout way {as we see it, anyway}. And then there are the times when He doesn't, because His purpose in not fulfilling that heart's desire is so that we'll remember that He should be the desire & delight of our hearts.

He keeps sending me back to Psalm 37:

Trust in the Lord, and do good;
dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the Lord,
and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord,
trust also in Him,
and He shall bring it to pass.
{Psalm 37:3-5}

When I'm about the business of first trusting Him, then feeding on His faithfulness, and then delighting myself in Him alone...then He gives me the desires of my heart because my heart will be in line with His! And where there's a desire that seems to be forgotten, I can rest in the truth that He knows precisely what He's doing. For my good, and for His glory...{see Romans 8:28}

Learning to delight in Him
and rest in His plan,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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11.11.2013

Faith like a child

Do you believe that children can minister to adults? That God can move a hard heart through the faith of a little one?

I do.

My relationship with Jesus exists because a dear child with a giant-sized faith introduced me to her God (you can read about Sarah & me here. or here. or here.).

And at 7, 6, & 3, my children have all strengthened my heart on days when I didn't feel I could bear much more. I think some people dismiss children as useless and not able to contribute much - but from my experience (and some of the most poignant stories in the Bible!), I've learned that when I'm willing to open my heart and my ears to them they are one of the most precious resources I have for learning, growing, and being built up in my faith.

Below are some of the ways my children have ministered to me, my husband, each other (what a joy!), and to others in their lives. The best way to describe how it feels when one of my girls reaches out to comfort me is, it's like a soul hug. God works through them to calm my soul and anchor my heart on His love and His truths!

Romans 8:28, as drawn by Elizabeth.
This still hangs in the kitchen to remind me daily
that nothing is wasted in God's economy!
Back in May, Will had gone to NY to stay with his mom for a little while. It was a rough couple weeks for me, and Elizabeth was particularly sweet to remind me of the things we had learned about during Bible time and what she'd learned from Miss Diane at Junior Church!

The girls wanted to sing this song for Daddy
while he was away for a period of time earlier this year.

Again, the girls wanted to encourage Daddy with a song they'd been learning - Psalm 1 (courtesy of the Harrow Family's Sing the Word series!)

The big girls & I work on memory verses each week.
Sometimes, Elizabeth writes out the week's verse for Hannah (3)
and teaches it to her.
Do to others as you would have them do to you! -Elizabeth spent a long time writing this out and going over it with Hannah! And now Hannah remembers the verse when her sisters are giving her a hard time. :)


We hosted a 5-Day Club this summer.
At the end of the week, E made this for one of her teachers!

They love to make cards for people, and write out the words to their favorite Bible songs. I know it blesses others when my daughters remember them and reach out to encourage them!

"Mommy, I wrote you a secret message
in my copywork today. Can you find it?"
On this particular morning, I needed both of these messages!

This is a page from E & A penmanship book (Horizons Penmanship from AOP! We love it!)

Elizabeth made this and hung it next to Daddy's computer
"for the days when he forgets this."
It's true. Sometimes, we forget the truths of God's Word. And I am so grateful that the Lord sees fit to minister to me through the hearts and lives of my daughters. 

How have the children in your life ministered to you in difficult times?
Praising God for children,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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10.27.2013

Teaching children to sit through church

Do you ever receive a compliment for your child's/childrens' behavior, and wonder 'whose children are these sweet people talking about?!' (I'm mostly jesting...mostly.) I do, sometimes. In part because it's so easy for me to have a critical view of my daughters' behavior too often; and in part because I know our girls better than anyone else and understand they are not always as angelic as they appear in public.

Some folks at church have recently complimented my daughters about how they do a nice job of sitting through church - and they ask me how I manage to get the girls to do it. My girls are 7 1/2, 6, & 3 - and most of the time, they conduct themselves pretty well in the sanctuary. ...coffee hour and fellowship time, though, that's a different story. We'll probably be working on that for the next few years. If you visit Jaffrey Bible, and you see kids camped out by the snack table [or underneath it, waiting for food to drop...], or finishing other people's unattended snacks, they're likely mine. They do get enough to eat, contrary to what they might tell you.


When our oldest two were little (newborn & 1 1/2), we felt strongly that we wanted them to sit through the entire service with us, even though nursery care was available. At this point, all three of our girls are old enough to go downstairs to Junior Church during the sermon portion of the service most of the time, but every so often I keep them up with me to keep teaching them this important skill. We've not perfected it - we never will. But we keep on trying.

Here is my offering to parents who are wondering how to teach their children to sit respectfully through church. It is not a get-quiet-kids-quick scheme, and I make no promises. These are just the things the Lord has shown me as I've sought to point my girls to Jesus.

1) Be the example.

Be. the. example.

You are always an example to those little sets of eyes. Like when you talk to your pew neighbors during announcements or during the sermon (I ask my girls to speak up respectfully when they see me doing this, because it's a weakness of mine). When you are rifling through your handbag just to check your phone one more time (or, if you keep your phone in your hand or by your side!). When you are fidgeting because you are feeling bored.

If you want your children to learn how to sit still, pay attention, and enjoy the service - set the example.

Some parents choose to allow their kids to bring coloring books, small toys, or other things to keep them quiet. That is between you and the Lord. We chose not to do that because "being quiet" wasn't the end goal we wanted for our children - it was learning to worship God in His sanctuary, with His people. We encourage the girls to bring a Bible or Bible storybook with them, and we encourage them to either participate (singing, listening, etc), or to read while seated. And I try to be aware that I follow my own guidelines!

2) Be patient.

What I cannot promise you is that your littles will stay put and be quiet in just a few easy steps. Training them to sit takes time. Sometimes, years. With my older two, it was easily 3 years before I could sit through a whole service. But I am reaping the benefits now, and it makes all of those training years worth it.

Decide on a couple basic rules/guidelines, and stick to them. When they are dishonored, deal with it right away. Even if that means getting up and carrying them to the back of the church 8,341 times a service for 2 years.

Our guidelines:
-When someone is speaking from the pulpit, you may not speak {dire potty emergencies excluded}. Look at the speaker, or you may read your Bible silently.
-When we are singing, you may sing along, or read quietly.
-You may sit on the floor or on the pew, but you may not wander around.

Obviously, any babies under, I'd say, 18 months - just realize that they cry. They get fussy. They vocalize. Often, at the most inconvenient times. But there is no need for disciplining a child who cries due to hunger, or being overtired, or just because! Accept with joy and thanksgiving the fact that you will likely play the get-up-and-sit-back-down game for a couple of years if you have a baby - or that you'll be in the Cry Room if your church has one. For a long time, I had to sign up for a copy of the message on CD or hear the summary from Will!

Once they get to be old enough to show defiant behavior (it varies!), you'll need to decide how you will deal with a rebellious attitude - and the difference between real rebellion and plain old crankiness (9:30-11 is a tough time for littles who are used to a morning nap! Once you have a plan, be as consistent as you can. Eventually (...really!), you'll begin to see progress. Our youngest is just barely 3, and she does pretty well most of the time.

3) Teach them to sit still at home, too, and praise even the smallest of true efforts.

Being still is not a bad thing for children every now and then. Sure, children need copious amounts of activity time - whether helping with chores, or engaged in learning, or just free & unstructured playtime! - but sitting still, patiently, and quietly is a life skill that needs to be worked on. Teaching them to be still in other places besides church will ensure that the request isn't a foreign concept. Storytime, snuggle time, rest time, or quiet reading time are all ways to teach them at home. And again, teach by example. Let them see you taking down time every now and again to snuggle with them, or to just read quietly.

When they do well with this at home (and at church), be sure to give them a complement. Be specific: "Abs, I really appreciated the way you sat and read to yourself so quietly just now. You're really growing in self-control!" Steer away from general, over-the-top flattery, like: "WOW!! Hannah!! You're the best sitter-stiller that I've ever met! Great job! Keep it up!!"

4) Pray with them and for them - and point them to the Word.

This is, by far, the most important piece of teaching your children to do....anything at all. Pray. Pray more, and then pray again. Pray that the Lord will work in your heart first and give you a desire to worship Him and to delight in being at church, in His presence and in the midst of the assembly of believers! Pray also that your children will also truly delight in being there and learning more about our Almighty and loving God!

Become familiar with verses about reverencing the Lord, and the assembling of His people, and the verses about being still and waiting on the Lord - and please share them with your children!! No matter how small they are!! God's Word is powerful and life-giving for all people, not just grown-ups, and your children will benefit from hearing you proclaim His truth!

Verses I've found to be a helpful starting point:

You shall keep My Sabbaths and reverence My sanctuary: I am the Lord.
{Leviticus 19:30}

Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God.
{Exodus 20:8-10}

And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.
{Hebrews 10:24-25}

Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness,
and for His wonderful works to the children of men!
Let them exalt Him also in the assembly of the people,
and praise Him in the company of the elders.
{Psalm 107:31-32}

Wait on the Lord;
be of good courage,
and He shall strengthen your heart;
wait, I say, on the Lord!
{Psalm 27:14}

Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our refuge.
{Psalm 46:10-11}

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him..
{Psalm 37:7}

What have you found to work in helping your children learn to sit through church?

Teaching my daughters,
for His glory!
~Lisha :)

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10.15.2013

Slow days, fast years.

"There's one thing you'll find true about parenting - 

the days are so slow sometimes,

              but the years go by fast."

One of the elders at our church said this in passing to me in the weeks before we welcomed our firstborn. I had no context for grasping the depth of that statement.

I laughed it off at the time. But it is true. So achingly true.

...wait. Didn't I just bring her home from the hospital?!
Elizabeth is 7 1/2. WHAT. And after years of digestive troubles and being chronically underweight because her body wasn't handling food well...she's growing. I understand that whole "like a weed" analogy. Her appetite is robust, for the first time ever. She's sprouted about 4" in the last year, and she's finally up to a healthy weight. She is active: running, dancing, learning to ride a bike. It's been about 11 months since her cecostomy tube was put in place, and I am so thankful for the difference it's made in her quality of life. She & I pray every morning and thank the Lord profusely for modern medicine, the wisdom He gives the doctors, and the way He is healing her body day by day. Have you ever heard the prayers of a child who has learned to trust her God? It gives me goosebumps when she prays. Her prayers are often simple, direct, and out-of-this-world big.

God often reminds me through Elizabeth that my prayers can and should be more like hers - in faith that He is able, and in confidence that He will if it's what's best.

...her, too?
Abby just turned 6. For her birthday, she wanted to learn how to play "either the flute, the banjo, or the xylophone"...flute it is. She's been taking lessons for the last few weeks and is really making progress. The instructor thought maybe she'd be too young or too small to get the hang of blowing into the mouthpiece or managing the keys, and it is hard for her!, but she is learning all about the fruits of labor. When she puts in the 20 minutes a day to practice...she finds that making (the right) sound is easier and that reaching those last few keys waaaaaay down at the end of the flute comes just a little easier. I am SO thrilled for her. (And since I play the clarinet, we've been working a little to play together, and I am having a blast!) Other big milestones in the past few months: she has learned how to read. and read and read and read and read. There are few other things that will bring as much joy to my heart as hearing my children reading to me or each other. 

The Lord often reminds me through Abby that He a) enjoys the humor & sweetness of little ones, and b) I need to put aside cleaning or the computer more often and delight in these days. He also instructs me in the blessings of serving others & diligence - Abby's two most beautiful & prominent qualities.


Hannah is on the cusp of 3. For so long, her nickname has been "baby Hannah", but now - I can't call her that anymore! She is a little girl! Han is the second daughter to need extensive physical therapy, and after 2 years of it, it's hard to tell she was ever so far behind. She has mastered climbing stairs; she's also mastered talking. That was never a concern, though, in a home with two chatty older sisters. 

Her name means "grace & wisdom". I need gigantic amounts of both to parent well. She questions everything, and reminds me that my heavenly Father takes joy in my many questions and watching me grow in His care.

The last 7 1/2 years have just zipped by...one slow day at a time.

L to R, top to bottom: fall photos from each year 2006-2013!
Moms, you know what I mean. The days sometimes feel like they last for-ev-er. Especially days when you spend most of your time feeding, clothing, cleaning, correcting, rebuking, instructing, caring for a sick one, or in those seasons where you are just spiritually dry and wonder how in the world you will manage yourself, let alone little ones.

But then you blink, and they seem to age years. It makes me all the more thankful that I have eternity to look forward to - to know that even though these sweet years will soon be a memory, Lord willing I'll have forever to delight in the dear ones God blessed me with.

The verse that comes to mind is 1 Peter 3:8 - But beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day

Does anyone else feel the years go by more quickly than the days do? How do you relish the moments and capture the years as they fly by?

Thankful for the slow days,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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10.04.2013

No Wonder She's Not Listening

Photo by Molly Viglione Photography, 2012
www.mollyviglionephotography.blogspot.com

Abby had her annual well-child checkup on Wednesday. When the doctor came in and asked if I had any questions or concerns, I piped up. Lately, I can be standing only feet away from her, and speaking to her normally - and she completely ignores me. But not in a defiant way - just...I don't know...like she genuinely can't hear me.

I know kids can have selective hearing sometimes, but this is different.

Hmmm. He looked at the results of the hearing test the nurse had administered only 10 minutes previous: she had passed, but "certainly not with flying colors." In fact, she had just barely eeked by.

"I'll take a look," he said.

He did. "No wonder she's not listening to you," he said as he put the otoscope in the second ear, "I can't even see her eardrums. There is so much wax build up in the way."

The remedy? So easy. A warm-water-and-peroxide flush, and follow up with peroxide drops in the ear once a day for a few days. Her hearing is already improved quite a bit, because we're working to clean the blockage out.

I AM SO MUCH LIKE MY CHILDREN SOMETIMES.

How often has God pleaded with me, never far from me, only for me to not hear Him? As in, not deliberately disobeying Him, but I can't hear His still, steady voice?

What is blocking me from hearing Him?

Noise. Almost constant noise in my life. I say that I like silence, but I don't mean that. I mean I like it when I'm not being bothered - but honestly, I can't stand total silence. There is almost always some form of noise in the background. Otherwise, I might have the presence of mind to memorize and meditate on God and His Word, and hear those still, soft thoughts that keep trying to make their way past the clamor.

Perhaps it's the radio. A movie. A TV Show. Praise music. Sermons. Long chats.

"But Lisha!!!" you are thinking, "those are all good things! God speaks to us sometimes through all of those ways!"

He does - and He often does in my life, too. Those things aren't bad - unless they are keeping me from hearing His Words clearly - and sometimes, I find I rely on the radio, music, sermons, & what other people are saying about God instead of seeking His face and His heart for myself.

More often than not, I find in the Scriptures that the Lord will speak when we are willing to be still before Him, with time in His Word and in prayer. Alone. No podcasts or Pandora, no TV or talking it up with a friend. Just escaping the din and resting quietly before Him in anticipation of hearing what He has to say.

And, for me (NOTTT a morning person), for YEARS God has been asking me to be willing to rise up early in the morning. To listen to & commune sweetly with Him before my day begins. I keep trying. Most of my quiet time happens either in the afternoon when the girls have 30-ish minutes of "rest time" (or, 'please-stay-quietly-in-your-bedroom-time'), or after everyone else is in bed.

I am so grateful for the many lessons God has taught me through the ordinary moments (like cleaning wax out of little ears!) with my daughters, and how He prompts me to press on toward Jesus through His extraordinary patience & grace.

Lord, help me to cut out any noise that's keeping me from listening to You.

Do you find that you are addicted to noise and to what other people say and sing about the Lord instead of listening for Him on your own?

I want to hear Him,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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9.16.2013

Get back up!

My two older daughters are now the ecstatic owners of their very first bicycles. (Thank you Papa & Gigi for the bicycles and Grampy & Grammy for the helmets!)

Abby and her new bike!
Their excitement was put on hold for a bit, when they were faced with the reality of how much work goes into learning how to ride.

...and how much it hurts to fall down.

...and how much it takes to keep getting back up every time, get back on, and try again.

They are still really excited - don't get me wrong! As soon as their school work is complete (who am I kidding? Pretty much right after breakfast is done, really), they are begging to get their helmets on and get back out on their bikes. They are motivated to learn. The end goal (riding with no training wheels!) is just TOO appealing to not keep at the task. Even if it means learning how to ride, and learning how to fall and get back up.

Elizabeth & her new bike!

Do you ever get the sense that the Lord is specifically speaking TO you when He is speaking through you to your children?! That's how He gets some of His most significant messages across to me, it seems. More than once today, I had to remind my girls that learning to ride is hard; that it takes practice; and that trying to ride means learning to fall and get back up again - but the reward will be worth it.


Life. There's a lot of work that goes into learning how to live.

...and it hurts to fall down.

...and it takes so much to keep getting back up every time, and get back into it, and try again.

but!

Knowing that eternity with Jesus awaits, the end goal is just TOO appealing to not keep at the task.

Even if it means learning how to live, and learning how to fall and get back up.

************************
And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. [Galatians 6:9]

My soul still remembers
and sinks within me.
This I recall to my mind,
therefore I have hope.
Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”
[Lamentations 3:20-24]

Getting back up and trying again every day,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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9.09.2013

Intimidation.

www.tumblr.com
(scene from The Little Giants)
"...has it occurred to you that you are...well,

...a little intimidating?

I mean, that maybe when other people look at you, they see that you've set the bar so high for yourself that we all assume that you set the bar that high for us too - even if you don't think you do? And that some people feel inadequate just being around you, or when they see your online posts, or when you're teaching..."

The Lord knows that I'm in a time of my life when I need to hear hard things. I've had conversations where something like the above comment was mentioned FIVE times in the last couple months - which means God is trying a message through!! And He has been faithful to put in my path a women who are faithful to speak those hard things. In love, because they care. He has also given me the gift of Will, who knows me better than anyone else, and is openly honest with me about my weaknesses.

When it comes to my own heart and my relationship with the Lord - I want perfection. I want excellence all of the time. I want to be a beautiful ambassador for Jesus.

I have been so full of pride. I have faltered while thinking I'm okay.

One of the proverbs that utterly. terrifies. me. is 25:26:
A righteous man who falters before the wicked is like a murky spring and a polluted well.

Do you know what happens when people try to find refreshment by drinking from a murky spring or polluted well?! Disease! Maybe even death! They end up sicker and weaker than when they began!

I cannot describe to you the deep-down terror I feel at the idea that someone would come to me for encouragement, or examine my life to see what Jesus is all about, and go away from me spiritually weaker than when they began. I want my life, my heart, my words, my actions, my motives to be a neon sign that points straight to Jesus Christ and His mercy and love and patience and might - always. And because of that, I don't graciously tolerate less than perfection from myself, as it pertains to my journey with the Lord.

The strife comes when I project that desire for "perfect" onto other people. Like my husband, or daughters, or fellow moms, or other brothers & sisters in the Lord, or ...anyone. There is pain, discord, and broken fellowship when I hold them to the standard that only Jesus Christ can attain!

People let people down. I let people down every single day (mainly, Will & the girls, because they are who I spend most of my time with!). It's what people do! I have been so foolish to expect & require perfection from everyone around me and myself. For years, I have been breaking hearts and driving the people I love the most AWAY from the Savior, because I inadvertently expected them to look exactly like Him when really I expected that I should look exactly like Him.

God is showing me (because I'm finally willing to see!!) that there is a huge difference between:
1) expecting/demanding consistent excellence from myself and others, and
2) striving toward becoming excellent in those areas where Jesus has called me while gently guiding and encouraging others to also strive toward excellence in those areas where Jesus has called them.

For instance:
Doing these things
  • demanding my daughters have a perfectly clean room, flawless manners, and impeccably sweet attitudes all of the time only teaches my daughters that it's the outward appearance that matters.
  • expecting myself to be able to maintain a perfectly clean home every single day only leave me feeling guilty and overwhelmed by my struggle with laziness - and may compel me to only worry about the surface cleaning - taking shortcuts to make sure everything looks okay at a first glance.
  • requiring that my husband should always be completely loving - patience, kind, not arrogant, not rude, never failing - teaches him that I think he's a failure because he can't do what only Jesus can do.
...kills joy, love, peace, patience...you name it. No wonder I'm a drag to be around! Ugh!


But this approach
  • extending grace to my girls when their room is not clean - maybe giving appropriate consequences when they trash the place but understanding that they are girls and they love to play with each other (and what a huge blessing that is!), or reminding them as many times as necessary to say thank you/please/excuse me/etc because love is kind, or remembering that even I don't have an impeccably sweet attitude all of the time and showing them what repentance looks like when I don't...that teaches them that the Lord cares about their hearts and how they treat others.
  • giving myself grace when the dishes are still in the sink or the laundry is still in the washer, and just getting up every morning and trying for one. more. day. to battle the desire to be lazy, knowing that each small victory is a step toward excellence.
  • encouraging Will to look to Jesus as the example while pouring grace and mercy all over his heart when he gets distracted...
fosters life - abundant life in Christ! - and growth in the Spirit.

Oh, Lord, I'm so slow, but I'm learning. I'm so sorry that I resisted Your way of grace for so long, to Will's grief and the girls' frustration, and to the hurt of my friends & family. Help me to let go of my deadly grip on intimidating perfection & my own excellence, and to lean hard on Your grace, Your compassion, and Your excellence. It's not my perfection in You that draws people; it's You loving me patiently in my imperfection that is most beautiful.

Seeking His excellence,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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7.20.2013

Lessons from a crummy morning.

How I Planned For This Morning To Go:
-Wake up earlier than the girls & get ready
-Quiet time (Bible reading, prayer time)
-Make the girls breakfast, and wake them up to the smell of eggs & sausage
-Bible lesson with the girls about how God always takes care of us
-Morning chores with the girls
-Get the girls showered & dressed
-Little bit of school work - reading out loud & math (they love doing school. every day!)
-Help E with her flush procedure

How It Really Went Down:
-Woke up to H crying loudly, and A&E crying because H was crying
-Made breakfast for the girls (dry cereal)
-Watched H have a meltdown in her seat because she didn't want that for breakfast and "I'm not thankful" (said after prayer). Removed H from seat and did not allow her to join us at the table until she stopped screaming and was in a more grateful mood (which did not happen for a little while!).
-Bible time & prayer with a squirming H in my lap while bigger girls finish breakfast
-Bible lesson with the girls about how God always takes care of us
-A announcing that she feels like she's going to (.....takes off for the bathroom) ...throw up.
-Try to soothe A, who is lying on the bathroom floor and crying because her belly hurts
-E, while I was taking care of A, got out some construction paper and scissors and starting being creative alllllllll over the living room by cutting up said paper into hundreds of tiny little pieces, and then
-H getting hold of said scissors and cutting up stickers, papers, and lots of other fun stuff.
-Forget you, morning chores.

When I'm able to prepare for and order my mornings before I go to bed the previous evening, I feel like I've got this homemaker/mom thing DOWN.

And when my plan is blown 5 minutes into the morning, it's easy to believe the lie that I am the WORST, most ill-prepared and ill-equipped woman on the planet who ever bore children. Especially when I immediately give in to the grumpy attitude that rises up when I realize things are not going my way.

Sometimes, junky mornings happen. Way more often than I care to admit. But I'm learning - slowly, but surely - that junky mornings are a FANTASTIC lesson for my girls in how to:

1) stop what I am doing, and pray;
2) confess that my grumpiness is from my selfish belief that things need to go the way I plan;
3) remind myself that I can plan my day all I want, but ultimately I have no control over how things turn out;
4) choose gratitude and joy even as the day is not going as I planned.

I received a chance to practice patience this morning (I blew it, though, so then I received a chance to ask for forgiveness and show my girls what it looks like to screw up, confess, and trust God's forgiveness!). If things had gone my way, I wouldn't have needed to be patient. I also received a chance to snuggle H when she was sad, and rub A's back while she was being sick, and I got to watch E's tender heart toward her sisters when she fetched H's blankie and brought A a cup of water - both without being asked. All things I would have missed it my idea for a smooth morning had been carried out.

Thank You, Lord, for mornings that don't go as planned. Keep my heart soft always toward the lessons You have for the girls & I when Your plan differs from mine.

Trusting God's plan for my day is better than mine,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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7.18.2013

Ideas to help teach them diligently

When Moses addresses the Israelites in Deuteronomy chapter 6, he makes it clear that a major part of a parent's responsibility is to teach his/her children diligently about the Lord and His law. In my previous post on parenting books, I recommended two titles that are helpful for parents (Teach Them Diligently by Lou Priolo & Everyday Talk by John Younts).

Here are the resources I have used with the girls in my (imperfect but hopeful) attempt to teach them consistently & constantly throughout our days. This is by no means an exhaustive list but I've found that the Lord has used each of these books, CDs, & videos to spark some excellent & profound conversations with my daughters!

For Preschool/Pre-K



















Character Builders (TM) 8-DVD Set




























For Kindergarten


Egermeier's Bible Story Book
Firm Foundations: From Creation to Christ

  For 1st Grade

Leading Little Ones to God
The Visual Bible: Matthew
(The only parts the girls haven't seen in full yet are
Herod's slaughter of the children and the crucifixion;
it is my conviction that those scenes
are too violent for them at this time.)




















Music
The Sing the Word Series

Sing the Word From A to Z, A New Commandment, God Our Provider, Great in Counsel and Mighty in Deed, The Heavens Declare, All Nations Shall Worship, & Credo (I believe...). All songs are verses set to music! For the family who is more conservative in its musical selection, this family uses no electric instruments or drums. They adhere mainly to the instruments mentioned in Scripture.




Glory Revealed, Volumes I & II

The Glory Revealed Project is a collaboration of some of Christian music's most well-known artists - taking favorite passages of Scripture and putting them to song.
There are a variety of musical styles represented here!




I know I've left out a few, but I'm praying this will be a blessing to a parent who is wondering where to begin! You've probably noticed that most of the links are to Sonlight - it's because we are headed into our 5th year of homeschooling with Sonlight, and I'm (clearly) partial. If you end up ordering any of the books, see my Educating at Home page for a discount code off of your first Sonlight order!

Teaching them diligently,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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