When Life Doesn't Go As (I) Planned

Will got some unexpected news this week from work. Not terrible, but it was a big. old. bummer, and it was not what he wanted to hear.

The turn of events was not part of our short-term plans.

My initial reaction?

Anger.
The kind that brings irrationally hot tears and teeth-clenching.

Why?

Because I know how passionate and how excellent my husband has been at his job. And the news that came was, to me, totally and completely unfair. "Lord," I thought, "why this? Why now? Haven't we been through enough? Couldn't You have just allowed this to work?!"

and, if I had to be honest,

I was angry because my idea of what is best for Will and our family had been overturned. I am not. getting. my. way.

Will's response - a calmer, cooler "I'm not going to get worked up over it; I won't even know more until Monday" (even though he was shaken up by it all) - was much wiser than mine. And even that irritated me. (Is it just me, or do people with more self-control seem more obnoxious when I am in the middle of a tantrum?)

"Stand up for yourself!" I wanted to say. "Don't let yourself give in to this! It's stupid! How can they treat you like this! Fight back - rise up and fight for what you know you are worth!"

After biting my tongue and breathing deeply for a couple of minutes, I felt just like this:

For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 
{Romans 7:15-19}

My off-the-cuff actions give my true heart condition away: in me, nothing good dwells - just bitterness, a sense of vengeance, selfishness, and irrational anger. I know in my head that it is: a) wrong to react to something like this in anger, and b) not outside of God's total sovereignty [...you know, the kind that I wrote about just the other night?! Here?!]...so why? Why do I do it?

Because I am inherently sinful - from the womb, and because even though my sins were all paid for on the cross, I will struggle against sin for the rest of my life. Through Jesus, I can choose whether or not to sin; I am no longer a slave to it, but I still have to actively choose in each circumstance how I'm going to react or act. And sometimes (too often) - I allow sin to have the temporary victory.

I have to train my head and my heart to react in pressure situations - train them to react in a way that absolutely honors the Lord.

What I will to do, that I do not practice - but it doesn't let me off the hook from trying to practice even after my 1,000,000th fail.

Here's what I *should* do when something starts to rile my emotions and I'm not getting my way:

1) PRAY. Short and sweet if need be! 'Jesus, help me by reminding me that You are in control, even of this!"

2) PROCLAIM the truth of the Word. For me, it helps if I read it out loud! Here are some that I have written in strategic places all over the house to turn to at a moment's notice:

 

3) PRAISE. I want to undermine whiny, self-centered thoughts. Praising the Lord fills my heart, mind, and home with the reminder that He's got this, and that He's awesome at all times, no matter what happens.

After the reassurance of my calm husband, the Lord & His Word, and my sweet Titus 2 mentor - I was able to calm down. To breathe peacefully, and cast this care upon the Lord. And able to try to encourage my husband to wait on the Lord, rather than tell him to do something unwise (run ahead of the Lord to fight on his own merit, and/or hit people).

I have no idea what Monday will bring, except the continued reassurance and hope that God is always revealing His greatness & goodness in all situations. Even the ones I didn't plan for.

Where do you turn in the Word when life doesn't go as planned?

Praying, proclaiming, and praising,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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Are You Persuaded?

I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

[Romans 8:38-39]

This verse is one of the most often-cited and important verses, I believe, that speaks to the assurance of security in Christ - once your spirit is made alive in Christ by the Holy Spirit (the moment you truly believe that Jesus died for your sin and rose from the dead!), there is NOTHING that can separate you from God's love.

Am I truly persuaded that there is nothing that can separate me from Christ's love?

This verse was on my mind this morning - and I was letting it tumble around in my heart and mind. God says here there nothing shall be able to separate me from the love of God in Christ. Nothing. But the word that kept sticking was persuade. What exactly does that mean, anyhow?

If I am indeed persuaded, what does that look like? How would my persuasion manifest itself in my life and my walk with the Lord?

Have you ever come across a word in the Scriptures and wondered what it meant? I do, all the time. (Especially when I read my husband's KJV Bible!) I've found it helpful to keep the following tools on hand to quickly research words:

Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible (James Strong), and
A Reader's Greek New Testament (Richard Goodrich).
{these are not affliate links}

from Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, KJV

First, look up the English word you're wanting to know more about. For me today, it was 'persuaded'. Then, find the verse listed under the heading [Romans 8:38]. In the far right column is a list of numbers. Those are Strong's Numbers, and they indicate which Greek word to look up in the included Greek dictionary (in the back of the concordance). {The Old Testament references are to the Hebrew dictionary in the back.} Strong's Number for persuaded in Romans 8:38 is Greek, 3982...so I turn to the back:

from Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, #3982

In the King James Version of the Bible, the Greek word that is translated as 'persuaded' in English is found 23 times in the New Testament.

It's "peitho" (pronouned pay-tho). Above we see that 'persuaded' as it pertains to Romans 8:38 means to convince, pacify or conciliate (root word for reconcile); to assent, to rely, to agree, assure, believe, have confidence, wax confient {had to look that up, too: to be assured/self-confident}, make friend, obey, trust, yield.

Then, I look up Romans 8:38-39 in the Greek New Testament to see if I can find the work peitho (it will be conjugated, though: "I am persuaded" - just one big word), and see if there are any notes associated with that word (sometimes there are and sometimes not, but it's helpful to look):

pepeithoai - the conjugated form of peitho,
as best as I can guess, from what I've learned about Greek!
from A Reader's Greek New Testament

There's no further insight into "persuaded", but that's okay. What have I gleaned from my quick word study?

If I'm honestly persuaded that nothing can separate me from Jesus:

I am CONVINCED by the Scripture when it says I am His.
I RELY on this truth, even when I don't feel it.
I AGREE that Scripture - all of it - is absolutely true. Even when I hear accusations of a contrary nature.
I am CONFIDENT that Jesus' atoning sacrifice was sufficient to pay for all of my sin. ALL of it.
I choose to OBEY the Lord and His commands, because I believe that He is Truth and Goodness.
I put my TRUST in the Lord and His wisdom, even when I don't understand (because I often don't).
I will YIELD my life, my desires, and my plans with thanksgiving to whatever He has planned for my life - whether I perceive it to be bad or good.

Are you living like you're persuaded that nothing can separate you from His love?! I know that I have such a long way to go - some days, I come up so short in these areas - but that's the beauty of it: even on my most foul days, my most apathetic days - there is TOTAL security in God's love for me! Lord, stir our hearts, that we might live persuaded - relying on and confident in You, and willing to trust & obey You in all things. And thank You, thank You!, that when we are Yours, there is nothing ever that can tear us from Your love.

Safe in the love of Christ,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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It's not about her

**When you're done reading this, you're invited to read the update! Surgery was today!**

Tomorrow, we'll be heading to Dartmouth with E for a fairly uncomplicated maintenance surgery for her cecostomy. We recently learned that her body is not healing the way that it should be, and the tubes will need to stay in her for at least another year. This was not what we'd envisioned or expected but God is sovereign, and it has not taken Him by surprise.

Years ago, when we began this journey of not knowing what was wrong with our daughter, the Lord impressed upon my heart repeatedly that this trial was not just for her or about her. That there was a greater purpose: to build the faith of the believers around her and to magnify His love and care and power so that those who do not yet believe would see. That has helped me steady my gaze, because it's hard not to get frustrated.

E (far right) with her little sisters.
She has been a dear example of perseverance for them
throughout all of this!

Here are a few of the verses I have on my mind as the anxious mom. Please share any verses the Lord has put on your heart recently below. My well is mostly dry right now, and I will drink in as much of the life-giving Word as you can share.

Philippians 4:6-7
Isaiah 26:3-4
John 9:1-3
Psalm 145

Thank you!

Trusting Him,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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You just don't understand!

Photos from E's surgery 11/2012

A phone call came today.

It was supposed to bring relief and hope. Confirmation of good news and the fresh start for my daughter.

...but in just a few seconds, it deflated my spirit. It was not the news we had hoped for. I wept bitterly and had to run to my bedroom at the back of the house so the girls wouldn't see me clench my fists while my tears rolled off of my cheeks. And before I knew it, these words escaped out from under my breath:

God...You...just...don't...understand. We have walked through so much this year. These past few years. I was led to believe that this phone call would bring a break. A chance to breathe a little. 

And I cried. While the girls were oblivious and contentedly playing the piano in the den, I cried. Then, when I'd thrown my pity party, I sat quietly.

Then came a firm but gentle reminder:

You can say a great many things in times of discouragement and trouble, My child, but you may not say that I do not understand what you are going through.

And a long silence. The sting of conviction. The shock of what just was spoken in haste. The terror of accusing God that He is not compassionate or wise.


A confession: I know, Lord. Forgive me.


He does understand. Oh, He understands exactly. He understands even better than I do. Because He's been with me for all of it. He brought to mind a flood of verses:

Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
{Hebrews 4:14-16}

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
{Psalm 23:4}

Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord God—my God—will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord...
{1 Chronicles 28:20}

Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
{Isaiah 41:10}

“Because he has set his love upon Me,
therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him,
and show him My salvation.”
{Psalm 91:14-16}

*This was this morning's reading with my daughters.
Before I knew what the day would bring*
Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
{Matthew 6:25-33}

...and this song. He asked me to cry out, that He would be my hiding place. Not to run from Him in confusion, but run to Him and find shelter in His love and protection. So that I can teach my little girls to do the same as this path unfolds before us.

Last week, I shared a bit of my current bout of spiritual apathy, and then Sunday I shared how God had kindled hope in my soul and sparked feeling in my heart once more. Today, He has me back in a familiar place: totally dependent, desperate to know Him more and cling to Him. It's not wrapped in the sparkly gift bag of joy and happiness that I wished for, but He has given me a merciful gift by rousing me suddenly from my I-don't-care attitude.

My little girl has a longer road on this journey than we thought. And His grace, which has sustained us thus far, will continue. This moment, tomorrow, and forever. Even when I am so quick to forget and go into panic mode.

So, if you need us anytime soon, we'll be in hiding. Under the shadow of the Almighty. If you are going through a hard time right now, you should come hide, too.

Hiding in Him tonight,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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Teaching children to sit through church

Do you ever receive a compliment for your child's/childrens' behavior, and wonder 'whose children are these sweet people talking about?!' (I'm mostly jesting...mostly.) I do, sometimes. In part because it's so easy for me to have a critical view of my daughters' behavior too often; and in part because I know our girls better than anyone else and understand they are not always as angelic as they appear in public.

Some folks at church have recently complimented my daughters about how they do a nice job of sitting through church - and they ask me how I manage to get the girls to do it. My girls are 7 1/2, 6, & 3 - and most of the time, they conduct themselves pretty well in the sanctuary. ...coffee hour and fellowship time, though, that's a different story. We'll probably be working on that for the next few years. If you visit Jaffrey Bible, and you see kids camped out by the snack table [or underneath it, waiting for food to drop...], or finishing other people's unattended snacks, they're likely mine. They do get enough to eat, contrary to what they might tell you.

When our oldest two were little (newborn & 1 1/2), we felt strongly that we wanted them to sit through the entire service with us, even though nursery care was available. At this point, all three of our girls are old enough to go downstairs to Junior Church during the sermon portion of the service most of the time, but every so often I keep them up with me to keep teaching them this important skill. We've not perfected it - we never will. But we keep on trying.

Here is my offering to parents who are wondering how to teach their children to sit respectfully through church. It is not a get-quiet-kids-quick scheme, and I make no promises. These are just the things the Lord has shown me as I've sought to point my girls to Jesus.

1) Be the example.

Be. the. example.

You are always an example to those little sets of eyes. Like when you talk to your pew neighbors during announcements or during the sermon (I ask my girls to speak up respectfully when they see me doing this, because it's a weakness of mine). When you are rifling through your handbag just to check your phone one more time (or, if you keep your phone in your hand or by your side!). When you are fidgeting because you are feeling bored.

If you want your children to learn how to sit still, pay attention, and enjoy the service - set the example.

Some parents choose to allow their kids to bring coloring books, small toys, or other things to keep them quiet. That is between you and the Lord. We chose not to do that because "being quiet" wasn't the end goal we wanted for our children - it was learning to worship God in His sanctuary, with His people. We encourage the girls to bring a Bible or Bible storybook with them, and we encourage them to either participate (singing, listening, etc), or to read while seated. And I try to be aware that I follow my own guidelines!

2) Be patient.

What I cannot promise you is that your littles will stay put and be quiet in just a few easy steps. Training them to sit takes time. Sometimes, years. With my older two, it was easily 3 years before I could sit through a whole service. But I am reaping the benefits now, and it makes all of those training years worth it.

Decide on a couple basic rules/guidelines, and stick to them. When they are dishonored, deal with it right away. Even if that means getting up and carrying them to the back of the church 8,341 times a service for 2 years.

Our guidelines:
-When someone is speaking from the pulpit, you may not speak {dire potty emergencies excluded}. Look at the speaker, or you may read your Bible silently.
-When we are singing, you may sing along, or read quietly.
-You may sit on the floor or on the pew, but you may not wander around.

Obviously, any babies under, I'd say, 18 months - just realize that they cry. They get fussy. They vocalize. Often, at the most inconvenient times. But there is no need for disciplining a child who cries due to hunger, or being overtired, or just because! Accept with joy and thanksgiving the fact that you will likely play the get-up-and-sit-back-down game for a couple of years if you have a baby - or that you'll be in the Cry Room if your church has one. For a long time, I had to sign up for a copy of the message on CD or hear the summary from Will!

Once they get to be old enough to show defiant behavior (it varies!), you'll need to decide how you will deal with a rebellious attitude - and the difference between real rebellion and plain old crankiness (9:30-11 is a tough time for littles who are used to a morning nap! Once you have a plan, be as consistent as you can. Eventually (...really!), you'll begin to see progress. Our youngest is just barely 3, and she does pretty well most of the time.

3) Teach them to sit still at home, too, and praise even the smallest of true efforts.

Being still is not a bad thing for children every now and then. Sure, children need copious amounts of activity time - whether helping with chores, or engaged in learning, or just free & unstructured playtime! - but sitting still, patiently, and quietly is a life skill that needs to be worked on. Teaching them to be still in other places besides church will ensure that the request isn't a foreign concept. Storytime, snuggle time, rest time, or quiet reading time are all ways to teach them at home. And again, teach by example. Let them see you taking down time every now and again to snuggle with them, or to just read quietly.

When they do well with this at home (and at church), be sure to give them a complement. Be specific: "Abs, I really appreciated the way you sat and read to yourself so quietly just now. You're really growing in self-control!" Steer away from general, over-the-top flattery, like: "WOW!! Hannah!! You're the best sitter-stiller that I've ever met! Great job! Keep it up!!"

4) Pray with them and for them - and point them to the Word.

This is, by far, the most important piece of teaching your children to do....anything at all. Pray. Pray more, and then pray again. Pray that the Lord will work in your heart first and give you a desire to worship Him and to delight in being at church, in His presence and in the midst of the assembly of believers! Pray also that your children will also truly delight in being there and learning more about our Almighty and loving God!

Become familiar with verses about reverencing the Lord, and the assembling of His people, and the verses about being still and waiting on the Lord - and please share them with your children!! No matter how small they are!! God's Word is powerful and life-giving for all people, not just grown-ups, and your children will benefit from hearing you proclaim His truth!

Verses I've found to be a helpful starting point:

You shall keep My Sabbaths and reverence My sanctuary: I am the Lord.
{Leviticus 19:30}

Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God.
{Exodus 20:8-10}

And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.
{Hebrews 10:24-25}

Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness,
and for His wonderful works to the children of men!
Let them exalt Him also in the assembly of the people,
and praise Him in the company of the elders.
{Psalm 107:31-32}

Wait on the Lord;
be of good courage,
and He shall strengthen your heart;
wait, I say, on the Lord!
{Psalm 27:14}

Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our refuge.
{Psalm 46:10-11}

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him..
{Psalm 37:7}

What have you found to work in helping your children learn to sit through church?

Teaching my daughters,
for His glory!
~Lisha :)

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Two Big and Really Important Things

Two Big and Really Important Things that I needed to confront head-on today:

#1) I will let people down. No matter what you think of me, or how much you love me (or don't). I have before, and I will again. Too many times to count.

My temper will be short at a time when you need encouragement.
I will break a promise.
My words will shatter your day.
A decision I make, no matter how much prayer and thought I put into it, will leave you baffled or bewildered.
I will forget about plans I made with you.
My bad day will spill over into your world and dampen it.

Why? '...all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.' [Romans 3:23]. I am included in that 'all'.

A corollary to Big and Really Important Thing #1: People will let me down sometimes. For some or all of the above reasons.

#2) God will not let you down. No matter what you think of Him, or how much you love Him (or don't). He has never, nor will He. His record is impeccable.

He is patient and ready with a loving word. {Psalm 145:8, Zephaniah 3:17}
He never breaks His promises. Not one. {Deuteronomy 7:9, Daniel 9:4}
His Words are meant to help you grow in truth & grace. Sometimes they sting a bit, but it's always for your good. {John 17:17, 2 Peter 3:18, Proverbs 27:6}
His decision will also sometimes leave you baffled and bewildered, but because He is totally trustworthy, you can stand fast on the fact that it's the best decision. {Isaiah 55:8-9}
He never forgets His plans for you. And His plans are perfect. {Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 139:13-16}
He doesn't ask you to bear the brunt of all of the sorrow He carries. {Matthew 11:28-30}

watergurl.wordpress.com

There has been an overwhelming sense of relief in remembering those two truths today. The people-pleaser in me cringes at the thought that I have disappointed others so; and sometimes I wallow in bitterness when others let me down; the reality I need to cling to is that I do disappoint, and so do those I love. But God never fails nor forsakes! And that is why it is SO crucial that I place my trust in God alone, and invite others to do the same by the way I live.

When you let me down - know that my job is not to judge or condemn, it's to forgive liberally and point you to Jesus. Don't let fear keep you away from me.
When I let you down - please, please pray that God would move my heart to confess any sin and seek forgiveness. And please, with grace & mercy, let me know. You are not letting me down when you encourage me to be more like Jesus.
And when all the letting down is done, we can rejoice together that God has not let either of us down. Nor will He. Ever.

Rejoicing that God never fails,
even when I do,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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anguish...and hope! [Lamentations 3]

image from www.shellibourque.com

One of the first places I turn to is Lamentations 3:22-24 when my soul is troubled: "Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I hope in Him!' But I don't take the time to read what's around those verses. 

It's easy to search out verses that bring me peace, but I need to take in the whole counsel of God - not just the bits and pieces of passages that I find comforting. So I read most of the book of Lamentations (5 chapters - it's in between the books of Jeremiah and Ezekiel). Jeremiah wrote this lament over Jerusalem, and it's not uplifting at all, save the few verses in chapter 3. He describes the utter shaming of his people, his homeland; how the judgement of God had come upon them. He writes of starvation, death, destruction. Jeremiah is in anguish over the state of things - and that God has allowed these things. The first 20 verses of chapter 3 describe how the Lord has greatly afflicted Jeremiah. My eyes filled with tears for the hopelessness pouring off the pages. for the confusion. for the agony that he felt watching his people suffer for their sins. and then for the dread of what I know I deserve for my unfaithfulness to the Lord. Four and a half of the five chapters are painful to read!!

And then, this respite in a barren place:

This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope!!
Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I hope in Him!”
The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
to the soul who seeks Him.
It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man to bear
the yoke in his youth.
Let him sit alone and keep silent,
because God has laid it on him;
let him put his mouth in the dust—
there may yet be hope.
Let him give his cheek to the one who strikes him,
and be full of reproach.
For the Lord will not cast off forever.
Though He causes grief,
yet He will show compassion
according to the multitude of His mercies!
For He does not afflict willingly,
nor grieve the children of men.

He does. not. afflict. willingly. For all that befell the Israelites, and all that has come to me in the way of uncomfortable circumstances - God does not afflict willingly! He does not grieve my heart willingly. He IS merciful and compassionate, and it's easy enough to cling to just those few verses - but until His mercy is cast upon the somber and devastating backdrop of the wretchedness of my deeds and my sin and my unfaithfulness - it doesn't mean as much to me.

I need to be reminded often that I. am. depraved. Left to my own desires and wishes, I want what I think is best for me. When the Lord allows affliction, it's sometimes because He wants me to come to terms with my sin and cast myself again upon His mercies.

A little farther down, I see:
Who is he who speaks and it comes to pass,
when the Lord has not commanded it?!
Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
that woe and well-being proceed?
Why should a living man complain,
a man for the punishment of his sins?
Let us search out and examine our ways,
and turn back to the Lord;
let us lift our hearts and hands
to God in heaven.
[Lamentations 3:21-33,37-41]

Why should I complain when I see the consequences of my sin? It's true that Jesus Christ bore the punishment for my sins once and for all on the cross; but it is also true that when I sow sin in my life, I will eventually reap the consequences. God's grace may cover the due punishment for my sin, but it does not allow escape for the outcome.

Let me continually search and examine my ways, to see whether or not I am being selfish or seeking what the Lord says in any and all matters; Father, let me always turn back to You the instant I realize I'm beginning to turn away! Thank You that You are merciful, and Your compassions never fail; thank You that You are faithful to Your word regardless of how faithless and sinful I am!! Without the depths of my sin, I'd not appreciate the heights of Your forgiveness & love. Be it ever so, Lord!

Great is His faithfulness,
for His glory!
~Lisha



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Lessons from a crummy morning.

How I Planned For This Morning To Go:
-Wake up earlier than the girls & get ready
-Quiet time (Bible reading, prayer time)
-Make the girls breakfast, and wake them up to the smell of eggs & sausage
-Bible lesson with the girls about how God always takes care of us
-Morning chores with the girls
-Get the girls showered & dressed
-Little bit of school work - reading out loud & math (they love doing school. every day!)
-Help E with her flush procedure

How It Really Went Down:
-Woke up to H crying loudly, and A&E crying because H was crying
-Made breakfast for the girls (dry cereal)
-Watched H have a meltdown in her seat because she didn't want that for breakfast and "I'm not thankful" (said after prayer). Removed H from seat and did not allow her to join us at the table until she stopped screaming and was in a more grateful mood (which did not happen for a little while!).
-Bible time & prayer with a squirming H in my lap while bigger girls finish breakfast
-Bible lesson with the girls about how God always takes care of us
-A announcing that she feels like she's going to (.....takes off for the bathroom) ...throw up.
-Try to soothe A, who is lying on the bathroom floor and crying because her belly hurts
-E, while I was taking care of A, got out some construction paper and scissors and starting being creative alllllllll over the living room by cutting up said paper into hundreds of tiny little pieces, and then
-H getting hold of said scissors and cutting up stickers, papers, and lots of other fun stuff.
-Forget you, morning chores.

When I'm able to prepare for and order my mornings before I go to bed the previous evening, I feel like I've got this homemaker/mom thing DOWN.

And when my plan is blown 5 minutes into the morning, it's easy to believe the lie that I am the WORST, most ill-prepared and ill-equipped woman on the planet who ever bore children. Especially when I immediately give in to the grumpy attitude that rises up when I realize things are not going my way.

Sometimes, junky mornings happen. Way more often than I care to admit. But I'm learning - slowly, but surely - that junky mornings are a FANTASTIC lesson for my girls in how to:

1) stop what I am doing, and pray;
2) confess that my grumpiness is from my selfish belief that things need to go the way I plan;
3) remind myself that I can plan my day all I want, but ultimately I have no control over how things turn out;
4) choose gratitude and joy even as the day is not going as I planned.

I received a chance to practice patience this morning (I blew it, though, so then I received a chance to ask for forgiveness and show my girls what it looks like to screw up, confess, and trust God's forgiveness!). If things had gone my way, I wouldn't have needed to be patient. I also received a chance to snuggle H when she was sad, and rub A's back while she was being sick, and I got to watch E's tender heart toward her sisters when she fetched H's blankie and brought A a cup of water - both without being asked. All things I would have missed it my idea for a smooth morning had been carried out.

Thank You, Lord, for mornings that don't go as planned. Keep my heart soft always toward the lessons You have for the girls & I when Your plan differs from mine.

Trusting God's plan for my day is better than mine,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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Take cover! (a look at head covering)

Now I praise you, brethren, that you remember me in all things and keep the traditions just as I delivered them to you. But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 

Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonors his head. But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, for that is one and the same as if her head were shaved. For if a woman is not covered, let her also be shorn. But if it is shameful for a woman to be shorn or shaved, let her be covered. 

For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.

For this reason the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. 

Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord. For as woman came from man, even so man also comes through woman; but all things are from God.

Judge among yourselves. Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him? But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering. But if anyone seems to be contentious, we have no such custom, nor do the churches of God.
[1 Corinthians 11:2-16, NKJV]

This passage has long fascinated me, and has often created strife & discord, or at the very least confusion, among the church - and can infuriate or confound those who are not Christian. Should women cover their heads all the time? Just at church? Can a man sport long hair? Should a woman cut her hair short? What was Paul writing about in this letter to the church at Corinth, so long ago?

Photo by Molly Viglione Photography, 2013

As with any doctrine in the Bible, it's important to remember that we must be willing to take into account the historical context AND the whole counsel of God when we try to discern what is meant. Many factions and heresies in the church have come from those who try to build a doctrine based on their limited understanding of one or two verses! As I began to research what it all meant, I have found the following online resources to be helpful:

Matthew Henry's Commentary on 1 Corinthians 11
John Wesley's Explanatory Notes on 1 Corinthians 11

John MacArthur - The Subordination and Equality of Women (sermon - part 1)

John MacArthur - The Role of the Godly Woman (sermon, part 2)

Faith Defenders - Head Coverings

I was also introduced to this website recently, and I've appreciated the insights here. I don't know that I necessarily agree that it is a mandatory practice as of yet, but I'm not done searching for answers. (May I never be done searching for answers, Lord! Make my spirit a teachable one!)

The site is called "The Head Covering Movement". I've highlighted some of the really helpful articles:
An Introduction to a Neglected Doctrine
Why Head Coverings? Reason #1: Creation Order
Why Head Coverings? Reason #2: Angels
Why Head Coverings? Reason #3: Nature
Why Head Coverings? Reason #4: Church Practice

And the following books are helpful on the subject of biblical womanhood -some of which address headcovering. It is by no means an exhaustive list, only what I would recommend because I've read all or parts of them:

Evangelical Feminism & Biblical Truth by Wayne Grudem

Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood by Wayne Grudem & John Piper

This Momentary Marriage by John Piper

The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace

Let me stress this, as I share. For the time being, I choose to wear a scarf, kerchief, etc - all day. My choice to cover my head in no way is a symbol of my salvation, or my superiority as a believer. It does not mean that I think all women should cover their heads. It does not mean that I think another's worship or prayers mean less than mine.

It does mean that in my own personal relationship with my Lord, I feel Him asking me to wear this symbol as a tangible reminder that I have been created as a woman under authority - my husband's, my church leadership's, and God's - so that God might get the most glory. Will & I have had seasons in our marriage of much discord. Pain, frustration, anger, bitterness. Friends, it ought not to be this way - but sometimes that is reality. Even though I often do a shoddy job of it, the deepest desire of my heart is to live a life that brings God the most honor - and walking around with a reminder on my head keeps me accountable to Him throughout the day. I need the constant reminder to treat Will with honor and respect - because often, I don't. To my shame, and his, and ultimately, God's. I need the reminder that God has given me a specific role - and it's not to be the star of the show!! My role is to support, care for, encourage, and live a quiet life of gratitude and praise - willing to pour out my time, strength, & energies out of love for Christ, Will, and my beautiful daughters [who are continually learning from my example what the love of God looks like in action!], even when conditions are not ideal. Even when I am dishonored, or dismissed, or not loved or appreciated as I feel I ought to be. The gentle tug of the pins that hold my covering in place remind me through my day that 1) I should be living a lifestyle of continual worship & prayer, and 2) I am called to cultivate a submissive heart attitude - to put others' needs & wants before my own, trusting that the Lord will take care of my desires & needs in His time! 3) I can always take cover in the Lord. He is my refuge, strong tower, shelter, and He guards my very life when I run to Him!

So, friend, if you are reading this, please know that I don't expect you to be wearing a covering on your head next time I see you. I'm not looking to show anyone up, or guilt anyone into this practice; I'm just hoping to share a little of what God is doing in my heart today and to share the ongoing hope that I have in Christ that He can change even a wicked heart like mine to be more like His!

I echo John MacArthur's sentiment:
"As with meat that had been offered to idols, there was nothing in the wearing or not wearing of the head covering itself that was right or wrong. It is the rebellion against God–ordained roles that is wrong, and in Corinth that rebellion was demonstrated by women praying and prophesying with their heads uncovered."
Read some of his thoughts on 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 here:
Head Coverings for Women

Covered by His mercy & grace,

for His glory!

~Lisha

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PS If you have questions, or thoughts, let's talk! I am not an authority on this issue, and I'd love to talk it over. I'm not going to be insulted, or offended, or upset, by anyone who is also wanting truth - or by people who disagree with me! :)

I trust you so much, but...

The surgery went well. E peacefully drifted off to sleep with Will by her side and she woke up with both of us right there. Her first words upon waking were "...I liked that." I asked "what did you like?" "...the surgery." Thank You, Lord, for sweet and funny answers to the prayers of our hearts.

image of a cecostomy port from wikipedia

We were in the hospital for the remainder of Friday and most of Saturday. The doctor was concerned about a few things and spoke of keeping us for an extra night. There was a lot of vomiting and other stuff (I'll spare you the details!) - it was a rough time for all of us. But E, through most of it, had a great attitude. Thanking the nurses, apologizing for screaming, being patient when the answers were not what she wanted to hear. I know she was a blessing to the nurses, housekeeping & food service staff, and to the doctors from the OR. 

Tonight was the first night that we had to flush her system out by hooking her up to the IV bag at home. The cecostomy site is still quite sore and there was a lot of screaming and crying. (Will has been amazingly patient and just incredible in his care of E. I am so thankful!)

Toward the end, when we were getting ready to change her back into a new diaper and get her ready for bed, and Will needed to remove some of the gauze from her wound, she said to him "Daddy? I trust you so much, but this really hurts." 

Well, if my own 6-year-old didn't just express the depths of my heart in ten quick words.

My Heavenly Father loves me fiercely. And sometimes, the things that are best for me are not fun or comfortable; sometimes they are painful. But He bids me to run to Him with my fears and problems and doubts and failings because He knows what's best and how to care for me when I'm afraid and sad. And the same way that E's body will be made stronger on the other side of the pain, so my Father knows my soul & character will be made more like Jesus when I've walked this journey alongside Will & E!

Daddy? I trust you so much, but this really hurts. 

Praise God for the way He speaks so poignantly through the lips of little ones.
How has He spoken to your heart through your children?

Trusting,

(and so grateful for E),

for His glory!

~Lisha

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This is the day...

My sweet Elizabeth! Photo by Molly Viglione, 2012

I just want to share some of the verses and thoughts on my heart this morning. E goes in for surgery today!

This passage is most precious to me; it reminds me of what I'm truly here for. And God spoke it to my heart gently last night as I was praying over E - because I think He wants me to remember that this is not so much about E's broken body, but how He is touching other lives through our story and His undeniable faithfulness to our family:

And I, brethren, when I came to you, did not come with excellence of speech or of wisdom declaring to you the testimony of God. For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I was with you in weakness, in fear, and in much trembling. And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God! [1 Corinthians 2:1-5]

I also love the Psalms. And this one sums up what is going on in my heart. God, here are my troubles and my wearied mother's heart, but more than my troubles I choose to focus on You and Your unfailing faithfulness & power! 

And I said, “This is my anguish;
but I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High!!!”
I will remember the works of the Lord;
surely I will remember Your wonders of old.
I will also meditate on all Your work, and talk of Your deeds!!
Your way, O God, is in the sanctuary;
who is so great a God as our God?!
You are the God who does wonders;
You have declared Your strength among the peoples!
You have with Your arm redeemed Your people...!
[Psalm 77:10-15]

And the verses that have been on my lips and mind moment by moment the last couple of days:

You will keep him in perfect peace,

whose mind is stayed on You,
because he trusts in You!
Trust in the Lord forever,
for in YAH, the Lord, is everlasting strength!!
[Isaiah 26:3-4]

At that time Jesus answered and said, “I thank You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and prudent and have revealed them to babes! Even so, Father, for so it seemed good in Your sight. All things have been delivered to Me by My Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father. Nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and the one to whom the Son wills to reveal Him. Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest!! Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls! For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” [Matthew 11:25-30]

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you!! [1 Thessalonians 5:16-18]

O God, may people see less of us and more of You in the coming days. Please, no matter what happens, move in our hearts to point to You and what You've accomplished. Christmas is coming - a time to remember the glory of Your birth - make it so that we might be a testimony to Your purpose for being born: the redemption of a broken and weak humanity, that we might bring You glory and enjoy You forever!!

Overwhelming this morning by the goodness of God,

for His glory!

~Lisha

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10...9...8...7...

10 days till E's surgery.

13 days till we move.

I cannot tell you, friend, how thankful I am that in God's timing the cecostomy and the move are happening within 3 days of each other. It leaves me no time to sit around and mull over all of the "what ifs" that I was anxious about weeks ago.

I am physically spent. For three weeks now I have been packing, cleaning, and moving stuff around as much as I can during the day (while still caring for the girls, one of whom likes to unpack and unclean as I try to pack and clean!), and then packing and cleaning still into the wee hours of the mornings. [Will has been so sweet to let me sleep in most mornings for a couple extra hours while he gets the girls up & fed!] My hope is to be done packing and done with the cleaning a couple of days before leaving for the hospital so that when we get back, all that's left is to load up the van and any other vehicles and move.

For those who have been praying, thank you.

Thank you!

I have had a few days lately where I can feel that I'm being carried to the throne of grace. To be reminded that it's His strength I lean on and not mine, and that He is holding me up in answer to the prayers of others is very humbling and encouraging!

Please continue to pray!
-for the doctors, that their hands would be steady & sure and that the diagnosis & treatment are exactly what E needs. for the nurses, for wisdom, clarity, & energy as they tend to E and the other sweet kids on the children's floor.
-for us, that we would not fear nor give a moment's worry about our daughter. because the King of the universe has her in His mighty & tender hand.
-for the needs that come with moving, and a blessing over the people who will be taking time out of their lives to help us.
-for patience and joy and kindness toward the girls and each other in this season of big changes!

The countdown is on,
and His timing is perfect,
for His glory!
~Lisha :)

have I not commanded you?

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." [Joshua 1:9]

The next few weeks are going to be very full around here.

Dartmouth rescheduled E's surgery (see I did not sign up for this part! for more details), which turned out to be a blessing because that means Will can come without having to miss work. So that's happening soon. And last Monday we were offered a chance to move - and we took it. So we're moving 2 days after E comes home from the hospital.

For those of you who pray, and those who have been faithful to pray for us in the recent weeks: please continue. As God brings us to your mind, please pray. And if He lays a verse on your heart and you happen to think of us, please share it. It feels kind of selfish to beg but my heart can get easily overwhelmed at times when I'm packing up a home we've lived in since E was 3 months old and trying to mentally prepare for all of the changes in the upcoming weeks. Our home surrounding will be new, and we'll be adjusting to E's new needs too.

My sights are on Jesus and my heart yearns to be more like Him, but I'm too much like Peter to not stumble. "Get out of the boat - I'm doing some great and miraculous things here!" Christ says to me, but I look around at the storm that is coming at me from multiple fronts and sometimes I just start sinking!

I'm thankful for this season of life because it is a daily (hourly! momentary!) reminder that apart from Jesus and His sovereign plans, we cannot do anything. I am not strong, nor wise, nor sufficiently organized to do these things. I do not have the fortitude to hook my daughter up to an IV every night. or to purge & pack our home with 3 small ones around. or to make a house into a new home. But God's grace is sufficient for right here and right now!

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace,
whose mind is stayed on Thee,
because he trusteth Thee.
[Isaiah 26:3]

not afraid, nor dismayed,
for His glory!
~Lisha :)

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A Blog Hop - with Visionary Womanhood

I did not sign up for this part!!

My daughter will be having surgery soon. A cecostomy. They are going to be putting an extra hole in Elizabeth's abdomen, complete with a flip-top lid, so that IV laxative can be administered nightly directly into her colon to keep her system empty. So that her colon can return to "normal" (even though it's never been "normal").

The surgeon told us that it typically takes 1-2 years for this to work properly and they can assess the next step. If it is what the surgeon thinks it is (Hirschsprung's disease), then the next step is to remove the dead portion(s) of her colon and install a colostomy bag until everything heals. As if I haven't had to deal with poop enough over the last 6 1/2 years....

I would be lying to you if I said that my heart is not anxious. And since lying is always a bad choice, I won't.

My heart is anxious!!! Lord, I did not sign up for this!

E, before her cecostomy.

Following Jesus passionately does not mean that I am immune to the feelings and struggles of life! And I imagine that most believing moms, no matter how rooted they are in Christ and His love and His sovereignty, experience some level of anxiety rising up in them when they hear that something is not "right" with their child(ren).

E is my baby! My firstborn! The one over whom I have prayed and prayed and prayed for immediate healing. My little artist, fashionista, musician, ballerina, dream-big kinda girl. There is nothing in me that wants to go through with this surgery. I have cried over, prayed over, made pros-and-cons lists, paced over, and worried over this decision. Will and I laboriously arrived at the conclusion that though we do not want this, it is, right now, the path that God has carved out for us & E - for our good and His glory.

The what-ifs try to cloud my mind when I dwell for too long on surgery. What if disaster strikes, and things don't go as smoothly as they're supposed to? What about an allergic reaction to anesthesia?! What if it's hard to do this every night? What if it doesn't work?!

If I dwell on these things, I get overwhelmed and discouraged and fearful. But God, in His wisdom, has given me a list of things to dwell on:

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. [Philippians 4:8]

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. [Hebrews 12:1-2]

It is a moment-by-moment battle to choose not to worry about the upcoming surgery and subsequent changes in our day-to-day life. Over and over again in the course of every day I have to choose to lift my heart and my voice in praise. in thanksgiving. with joy! Because no matter what happens, no matter how long it takes for E's body to heal, no matter which complications arise - all of it is ordained and allowed by a sovereign God who loves E more than I ever will. And He wills for her to know Him more and love Him for a lifetime. If a life-changing surgery is what it's going to take to show her how a mommy depends on God for strength - if the inconvenience will help her understand that my praises don't depend on the right circumstances - if being healed shows her how God can work a miracle, or not being healed shows her the truth of Philippians 4:11-12 that we can learn to be content in Christ no matter what - if someone watching our story comes to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ because He is so evident in our hearts - then I will fall on my knees in prayer and worship God by walking through E's surgery holding tightly to His hand and His Word. 

O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You maintain my lot.
The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
yes, I have a good inheritance!!
I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel;
my heart also instructs me in the night seasons.
I have set the Lord always before me;
because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices;
my flesh also will rest in hope!!
For You will not leave my soul in Sheol,
nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption.
You will show me the path of life;
in Your presence is fullness of joy;
at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore!!!!
[Psalm 16:5-11]

Songs I sing when I start to feel afraid or overwhelmed:
You Are My Hiding Place - Selah
Your Name - Phillips, Craig & Dean

I did not sign up for this,
but God ordained it from before time began...
for His glory!
~Lisha :)

PS If you have a verse or passage that has carried you through a time of fear or uncertainty or change - please share it! I would love to post it on an index card and hang it in my kitchen!

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Where the rubber meets the highway (or: lessons learned on the road)

What has:

2,600 miles

15 stops with various friends and relations

11 states

6 boxes of cereal

5 travel bags (most of which are full of food & diapers)

4 weeks

3 girls

and

1 tired/thrilled mom?

A 2012 Very Hunter Summer Road Trip, that's what!!

Our route!

We left town on July 19th and did not get home until August 15th. The girls & I visited friends and family in Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, New York, Pennsylvania, Virginia, New Jersey, and Connecticut. There were many sweet memories and fun & impromptu field trips. There were some unexpected delays in travel (severe rain, a full-blown diaper disaster in the carseat, construction, a logging truck accident, and getting lost in both DC & NYC, among others...).

Quiet reading time with my cousins in VT!

I got to reminisce with dear high school and college friends, stay up late with cousins, aunts & uncles I don't get to see often, and to meet a online friend for real! We got to worship the Lord with dear brothers & sisters in northern Vermont and southern Pennsylvania. The girls did a little exploring in the cold ocean waters in Maine and swam in the warm ocean waters of Virginia Beach. They got to ride 4-wheelers with Grandaddy, go kayaking with Grammy & Grampy, and pick their own fresh fruits and veggies from Gram's very own garden. We rode a coal train in PA with Will's Gram. Feeding worms was a hit; painting birdhouses with Auntie Kimm was too; so was playing with all kinds of new toys at other friends' houses. We ate a lot of chicken nuggets and pizza and hot dogs (no complaints at all from the taste-testing department...!) It was a lovely, memorable, exhausting, so-glad-I-did-it-but-it'll-take-a-while-before-I'm-ready-to-drive-on-the-highway-again kind of trip!

E &A, in Casco Bay ME

I had a lot of time to think. Driving between 3-6 hours in between most stops with girls mostly content in the back seats left plenty of opportunities to pray and to listen to the Lord. I thought, initially, that this trip was going to be a 'school on the road' type opportunity for the girls and that it would be a chance for us to catch up with so many people that we don't see often enough.

Ready to head out on the road...again!

But that's not all the Lord had in store for us. It did happen that by the time we got home, I felt like we'd been doing school for about a month already :) and I did get to catch up with people who are so dear to my heart. And in the midst of all of that, here are some lessons the Lord had for me:

*I don't like not knowing where I am, or where I'm going. Jesus kept reminding me of the verse I have over my kitchen sink at home to calm my nervous heart (especially in Washington DC and New York City - eeeek, of all places to be lost!): Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. [Joshua 1:9] Wherever I go. Even in a city I'm not familiar with. Even on Pennsylvania Avenue (which is where we ended up on accident in DC!). No matter where I am, physically or spiritually - Jesus is with me wherever I go. I need not be afraid! There is such freedom in that truth!

This...is not where I was supposed to be!

...neither was this. Impromptu national history lesson
with a captive audience in the back rows!

*As much as I wanted to minister to other people, He used them powerfully to minister to me in ways that I couldn't have imagined. I got to wash dishes and fold laundry and hold babies and do a few other tasks for the families I stayed with, thinking I was being so helpful; and in return, I was challenged, encouraged, and built up in my faith in Christ!

The girls adore their Grandaddy! At Hunter Farm in VA

Hanging out in the "hampster" (hammock...) at
Mr. Tim & Miss Ashley's!

*Life is too short to wait until there's enough time and/or money. There are so many reasons why it seemed like a bad idea to take a 12-year-old rickety Windstar on the road by myself with three little girls with only a few hundred dollars in cash. I had a list of things I could have spent that money on: paying down debt, ordering homeschooling books, putting it in savings, etc. But the trip was so very worth every moment and every dollar spent. I am thankful that Will encouraged me to go!!

Enjoying a beautiful afternoon with Nana (Will's Gram!)
just before taking a ride on the coal train in PA.

*I have a lot to learn from other people - especially when they believe differently than I do! I know this seems like it should be a no-brainer, but sometimes it's easy for me to forget. Paul went to Athens to preach, but he wasn't ignorant of the Greek culture and belief systems there. Listening to the whys and hows of different beliefs broadens my perspective. It strengthened my faith to be challenged by hearing about other religions and by being asked honest and hard questions about my own beliefs!

FRESH raspberries from Gram's garden!

* Life in NH can continue without me. Whoa! This was a hard lesson for my ego. I'm so used to being involved in different capacities outside our home. And what a refreshing reminder for my soul that it is the Lord who is in charge, not me! He is perfectly capable of guiding things quite well in my absence (and, incidentally, when I'm around!). He gently reminded me that my main priority right now is the care and keeping of my family, and that some outside ministry opportunities can wait for another season!

Chillin' at Grammy & Grampy Lane's cabin in ME!

*Will is still my best friend. After being on the road for a month without him, and spending time with friends, relatives - some of whom I consider very close to me - I realized that even my closest friends do not know me as well as he does after all these years (12! wowee!). If something came up that reminded me of Will, and I thought "oh! He'd think that was funny/cute/ridiculous/whatever", ...I'd miss being able to turn to him right away and say that. By the time I left our last stop I had butterflies in my tummy and I was so giggly and just wanted to get home to him and share everything about the last month and hear all about how he had been. After 8 years of being married and having 3 kids, it's really easy to forget that hey, we used to like just hanging out and being around each other and that we were friends before we were husband & wife. It was sweet to be reminded of that.

At the welcome center in PA! Smile!

Before we left for the trip, I was terrified by the what-ifs. What if we break down? What if we run out of money? What if one of the girls gets sick? etc. But Will encouraged me to go, and I'm so glad that he did. 

Virginia Beach!

What if I hadn't? I would have missed out on sweet conversations, treasured memories, and the lessons that God had for me out on the road.

Feeding the worms at Mr. Iain & Miss Erin's house!!

What discoveries & lessons have you made on your travels & journeys? 

And...back home!

A pilgrim just traveling along,

for His glory!

~Lisha :)