1.31.2014

When Life Doesn't Go As (I) Planned



Will got some unexpected news this week from work. Not terrible, but it was a big. old. bummer, and it was not what he wanted to hear.

The turn of events was not part of our short-term plans.

My initial reaction?

Anger.
The kind that brings irrationally hot tears and teeth-clenching.

Why?

Because I know how passionate and how excellent my husband has been at his job. And the news that came was, to me, totally and completely unfair. "Lord," I thought, "why this? Why now? Haven't we been through enough? Couldn't You have just allowed this to work?!"

and, if I had to be honest,

I was angry because my idea of what is best for Will and our family had been overturned. I am not. getting. my. way.

Will's response - a calmer, cooler "I'm not going to get worked up over it; I won't even know more until Monday" (even though he was shaken up by it all) - was much wiser than mine. And even that irritated me. (Is it just me, or do people with more self-control seem more obnoxious when I am in the middle of a tantrum?)

"Stand up for yourself!" I wanted to say. "Don't let yourself give in to this! It's stupid! How can they treat you like this! Fight back - rise up and fight for what you know you are worth!"

After biting my tongue and breathing deeply for a couple of minutes, I felt just like this:

For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 
{Romans 7:15-19}

My off-the-cuff actions give my true heart condition away: in me, nothing good dwells - just bitterness, a sense of vengeance, selfishness, and irrational anger. I know in my head that it is: a) wrong to react to something like this in anger, and b) not outside of God's total sovereignty [...you know, the kind that I wrote about just the other night?! Here?!]...so why? Why do I do it?

Because I am inherently sinful - from the womb, and because even though my sins were all paid for on the cross, I will struggle against sin for the rest of my life. Through Jesus, I can choose whether or not to sin; I am no longer a slave to it, but I still have to actively choose in each circumstance how I'm going to react or act. And sometimes (too often) - I allow sin to have the temporary victory.

I have to train my head and my heart to react in pressure situations - train them to react in a way that absolutely honors the Lord.

What I will to do, that I do not practice - but it doesn't let me off the hook from trying to practice even after my 1,000,000th fail.

Here's what I *should* do when something starts to rile my emotions and I'm not getting my way:

1) PRAY. Short and sweet if need be! 'Jesus, help me by reminding me that You are in control, even of this!"


2) PROCLAIM the truth of the Word. For me, it helps if I read it out loud! Here are some that I have written in strategic places all over the house to turn to at a moment's notice:





 

3) PRAISE. I want to undermine whiny, self-centered thoughts. Praising the Lord fills my heart, mind, and home with the reminder that He's got this, and that He's awesome at all times, no matter what happens.




After the reassurance of my calm husband, the Lord & His Word, and my sweet Titus 2 mentor - I was able to calm down. To breathe peacefully, and cast this care upon the Lord. And able to try to encourage my husband to wait on the Lord, rather than tell him to do something unwise (run ahead of the Lord to fight on his own merit, and/or hit people).

I have no idea what Monday will bring, except the continued reassurance and hope that God is always revealing His greatness & goodness in all situations. Even the ones I didn't plan for.

Where do you turn in the Word when life doesn't go as planned?

Praying, proclaiming, and praising,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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Please share this post if it has blessed and encouraged you!

28 comments:

  1. So true! I want to jump the gun when things don't go as I expect or when things unravel before my eyes! But you have detailed it very well here...love it! Prayers for you and your family!

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    1. Thank you for your sweet words, Nannette, and for praying! <3 I was blessed on Monday to hear that the superintendent of schools stepped up on Will's behalf - we're still waiting for the final decision to be made.

      ~Lisha

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  2. Woman you spoke to me all the way through this post. I, too, do not put my faith where I should on many occasions. I tend to react before I should more times than I care to admit. Sounds like you married a good solid man. I'll be praying for you and your's.

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    1. Crystal, thank you for the encouragement and for praying! I am grateful this was a blessing for you!

      Thanks for visiting!
      ~Lisha :)

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  3. Thanks for this post! Very applicable to me right now! I see you turn to the Psalms, which is an excellent place to run to when life doesnt go as planned! I love David's honesty as he wrestles through the disappointments of life!!!

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    1. Me too! I'd never paid much attention to the Psalms at all until about 5 years ago when we miscarried our third baby. I set up camp in the Psalms - and now, when I am in the dry seasons of life I head back camp there even more. God was SO good to give them to us!

      Thanks for the encouragement, Elizabeth!
      ~Lisha :)

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  4. I hope that everything turns out much better than you think. I get like that when things don't go my way too. Mostly I think though it's my desire to control everything getting in the way of the Spirit.

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    1. Thank you, Helene! We are still waiting for the final decision. Now that I've had a week, I'm more willing to pray (and really mean it!) that God's will would be clear and that we will follow!

      I am so thankful you stopped by!
      ~Lisha

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  5. Today is Monday and I wonder what news it has brought you guys. Praying for you! Thanks for linking on Amanda's Books and More.

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    1. Tina, thank you!! It's now Friday - there's been no final decision made but it was a blessing to hear that the Superintendent of the school that Will works at stepped up on his behalf, and so I am hopeful! W is hoping to hear more this coming Monday, and I have been praying that God would make His will so clear to us!

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  6. So hard to rein in our hearts and take those thoughts captive, isn't it? You are blessed in having a husband whose level head can speak peace into your spirit and bring your eyes back to The Lord!

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    1. It can be SO hard! Praise the Lord that He is so patient with His children! Will's ability to stay calm under pressure is something I often take for granted - not this time, though. Thank you for your kind words :)

      ~Lisha :)

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  7. I'm visiting from Cornerstone Confessions. Great post, Lisha! Won't it be wonderful when we've left these tents behind and no longer have to battle the flesh? <3! God is so good to have given us His Spirit and His Word to help us as we watch and pray in the meantime. Blessings to you!

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    1. Thank you for the encouragement and kind words! And yes, yes, it will be wonderful! Amen.

      ~Lisha :)

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  8. Great post :) So important to trust in God's plan!

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    1. Thanks! It sure is important (although sometimes, I wish He'd give me a heads-up as to where He's going with it all) :)

      I'm thankful you've stopped by!
      ~Lisha :)

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  9. It's okay to feel angry. It really is. God gets angry himself!! Jesus got angry! It's all about what we do with those feelings though. Love the post and I agree with your advice on how to better yourself.

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    1. God gave us the ability to feel anger, and so in that, there's nothing wrong with feeling angry, and His anger is always justified! Mine in that moment - it just wasn't. But you're so right, and I tell my girls the same thing - what we do with our anger is what's important to the Lord!

      Thanks for the encouragement, Katelyn! :)
      ~Lisha

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  10. Whoa. I have been dealing with some anger towards sin that seems to winning in an acquaintance's life. This comes at the perfect time. I agree with Katelyn's comment too that anger is an okay feeling to have as long as we are dealing with that anger properly. Glad to have found this through the Homemaking Link-Up. Pinning...... : )
    ~Erika from MishMashedMe

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    1. There is a time for anger - and where sin is involved, anger toward the sin and toward Satan is surely warranted! But for me, last week, I was just angry that I wasn't getting my way!

      I am grateful this was well-timed and a blessing to you. I am praying right now that the Lord will give you the wisdom to know how to love your friend while guiding her to the holiness & beauty of Jesus - and how to fight in prayer for her.

      Blessings!
      ~Lisha

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  11. Great post! Thanks for the inspirations--2 Timothy 1:7 especially jumps out as one for me. Here are some of my favorites:

    When I feel like there's just not enough time to get everything done...
    Do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day.
    2 Peter 3:8

    When I feel overwhelmed by worries...
    [Jesus said] “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? . . . But seek first [God's] kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
    Matthew 6:25-27 and 33-34

    When other people aren't doing what I want...
    What is the source of conflict among you? What is the source of your disputes? Don’t they come from your cravings that are at war in your own lives? . . . You don’t have because you don’t ask. . . . Come near to God, and God will come near to you.
    James 4:1-2 and 8

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    1. Becca, I have all of these verses hanging up around my house, too! Thank you for sharing these lovely truths!

      ~Lisha :)

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  12. Awesome, awesome reminders!
    Rachael @Diamonds in the Rough (http://www.parentingandhomeschoolinginfaith.com)

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    1. Rachael, thank you for the sweet encouragement! I'm grateful you've stopped by :)

      ~Lisha

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  13. This is me to you aren't alone and I am always learning to be more peaceful and accepting of things and I Fail all the time. Thanks for reminding me I am not alone.

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    1. Thank you so much for the encouragement, Christina! And no, we are not alone - I am so thankful! Not only are there so many other ladies who can identify, but Jesus Himself never leaves us.

      I am so thankful that you stopped by and were blessed here <3
      ~Lisha

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  14. Praying for you Lisha. Thanks for sharing it for WholeHearted Wednesdays.

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    1. Thank you, Judith! We are still waiting to hear the final decision from the superintendent of schools - hoping to hear more on Monday.

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