3.09.2014

God, please give my husband a new wife!

They were words that I never thought I'd say, let alone ever even think:

God, please, give me a new husband!
One who leads just like You,
speaks just like You,
loves just like You.

I didn't really mean I wanted a new man for a husband; it was just that I wanted God to magically and miraculously get rid of all of my husband's sin struggles and 'irritating' (read: those idiosyncrasies that were so cute when we were dating!) quirks overnight, so that we could move on to the actual, important work of being a powerhouse team for the gospel - a couple that showcased grace, mercy, and forgiveness.

I was flustered, and it seemed hopeless. For years, I'd attempted to force change in my husband - and I wasn't seeing much progress doing it my way.

I was emotionally and spiritually exhausted after almost a decade of praying and pleading that the Lord would spend His time changing this man into what I thought he should be. I confronted the Lord about His gross delay in answering my prayers to make Will more like Jesus. Isn't that a holy request, Lord? Doesn't that honor You? Don't you say in John 14 that anything we ask in Your name, you will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son?!

But God doesn't just hear the words; He sees the deepest motives. I had been praying that Will would change because I wanted my life to be easier - not because I deeply desired Will to grow in the grace & knowledge of the Lord. Those selfish kinds of requests do not honor Jesus, no matter how pious they sound. I'd been trying to play the part of the Holy Spirit when I should have been inviting the Spirit to work on my heart instead!

Thankfully, the Lord gave me a husband who is not shy about telling me that I'm going about it in the wrong way, and He has also surrounded me with church elders and wise women who have been faithful to have the hard conversations with me about my selfish expectations and requests. After all these years, I'm slowly learning that the Lord spurs me to pray another drastic prayer that He has honors almost immediately each time by drawing me closer to Him daily:


God, please give my husband a new wife.
One who follows You, speaks just like You, loves just like You.
One who has been radically transformed by Your Spirit.

And let her...be me.

Desiring to be a new wife,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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18 comments:

  1. I agree! Beautiful post Lisha :)

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, Rachael!

      ~Lisha :)

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  2. I know what you mean! I struggle daily to respect my husband fully and to love him in the ways that he receives it best. Thanks for sharing, Lisha.

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    1. Thank you for the encouragement! "to love him in the ways that he receives it best" = I really needed this reminder this evening. Praise the Lord for the way He ministers to us!

      ~Lisha :)

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  3. This is truly beautiful, the idea of checking with our motives before prayer is profound and the belief that God will always do whats best no matter how hard we plead is re assuring. Thanks for sharing! found you through the link up :)

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    1. Thank you for your kind works, Marwa! I am so glad that He is so wise and that He only ever does what is best for His glory and for our best!

      I'm grateful that you stopped by to visit! Blessings,
      ~Lisha :)

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  4. Powerful! I'd like to extend that thought even further and challenge myself, in those moments when I feel frustrated, to ask God to give my children a new mother!

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    1. That hit me! Yes! Thank you, thank you for sharing that thought. Yes.

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  5. Excellent post!! Every time I am looking at my husband (or anyone else) to change, it's only because I have taken my eyes off myself.

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    1. Thank you, Laurie. I know - and that can be a hard habit to break (focusing on how others need to change). Thankfully the Lord is so patient with us!

      ~Lisha

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  6. I really appreciated how your prayer at the end is the same as the beginning. What a picture of perspective! Thanks for the reminders.
    Terry

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    1. Thank you for your encouraging words, Terry :)

      I'm grateful you stopped by and visited!
      ~Lisha :)

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  7. This is lovely! I remember years ago, early on in our marriage, when I picked up the book The Power of a Praying Wife. How tempted I was to quit when the first few chapters were about changes that needed to be made in ME. To be honest, I'm still learning that lesson - it's a work-in-progress for me. But I love the perspective you give here, and the reminder that we cannot play the role of Holy Spirit as we are often tempted to do. Thanks for sharing at Whole-hearted Wednesdays!
    Jen :)

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    1. Someone gave me that book as a bridal shower gift. For months after we got married, I read through it each month...kind of skipping past that whole "praying for his wife..." part. It is a great resource, but it's been stagnant on the shelf for a few years now. Your comment prompted me to dig it off the shelf and crack it back open. Thank you, Jen!

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  8. Love this! What an excellent post! So wise and honest! Thanks for sharing and for linking up with Marriage Monday!!! :)

    Oh, and I love your graphic too! :)

    Blessings,
    Elizabeth

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    1. Thanks, Elizabeth! Your words are so encouraging :)

      That photo is from the BC era (Before Children)...almost a decade ago! It's still my favorite photo of us (...the not-blurred version) :D

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  9. wow that was a very honest and great post. thanks!

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, Tamika! :)

      ~Lisha

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