1.28.2013

sin. repent. repeat. (or: a brief update)



It's been a while since I've been able or have even wanted to sit here and write.

The Lord God Almighty has been faithful to our family, even as we have been so unfaithful to Him. And He has carried us for the last couple of weeks months years.

For those who are unaware, our oldest daughter had surgery in late November (see I did not sign up for this part! for the details). And 3 days later, we moved into a new home.

...December was a rough month for us, as E healed. So slowly. There were lots of rough days. I'll spare you the details, because if you've ever known anyone who had any kind of major surgery, you probably know the details. Will left his job the week before Christmas because he was offered a new job (which did not start until the first week of January).

Amidst the visible changes in my life, there is a much more intense change below the smiley surface. God is confronting and convicting me in a big way about my priorities.

and how i am not the believer that i think i am.
that i am not the believer that most people believe that i am.

and that is draining. and painful. and embarrassing.

it means getting up every morning and starting my day with my nose and my heart in the Word, begging Jesus to somehow give me the presence of mind for every moment of the day to choose what glorifies Him the most because that's not my default setting. even though I want to pretend that it is.

and it means that when i do not do what glorifies Him the most, that i weep, repent and ask Him for the forgiveness that knows no depth. and for the grace to choose better next time. both of which He joyfully extends.

and repeat

over (being snappy in my speech)
and
over (not giving my full attention to will when he's talking)
and
over (asking abby to bring me something that i forgot because i'm too lazy to get up)
and
over (shouting at hannah because she did something that annoys me even though it's not sinful)
and
over (wasting those five minutes 'just checking facebook real quick!' when i know i should be making lunch or supervising the girls' schooling)

until i crawl into bed, to thank Jesus with weary lips that His mercies will come new with the sunrise and that i'll get another chance to choose worship over worry and mercy over meanness and family over facebook.

not yet like Jesus,
but someday i will be-
for His glory
~lisha

I may be sharing this post at these Link-up parties.

14 comments:

  1. This was beautiful...just beautiful. I feel the same way for this new year. I am on a Negativity Fast although it is difficult!! Lord, put a watchman at the door of my mouth!!

    Agreeing with you for the "not yet like Jesus" part. Someday, friend, someday! ♥

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement <3 I just read Psalm 141 (specifically vv 3-4) today - I will pray those for you, too!

      Someday...glory!
      ~Lisha

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  2. There's a lot of change going on in my life right now too. And I agree that it's amazing how God can use those shake-ups to reveal our sin to us. May you come out on the other side of this holier than before!

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    1. He wastes nothing in His economy as He conforms us to Jesus! :)

      Thank you for your kind words and for stopping by, Helene!
      ~Lisha

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  3. Such a beautiful post! And I see so many of the things you're working on that I've been convicted of recently myself...particularly being snappy and asking people to get things for me when I'm perfectly capable. My heart is with you! And yes, burying our heads and hearts in the Bible and crying out to Him is our only cure! He is El-roi--the God who SEES ME--and I am grateful every day He is mine!!

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    1. Alissa - I just taught my girls about El-Roi - what precious timing! I am thankful that He knows just how to handle our hearts and shows us (SO patiently) where we need to change. Thank you for your encouraging words - I will be praying for you in these areas, too, when I go to boldly to the throne of grace. :)

      Blessings,
      ~Lisha

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  4. Oh, I think everyone's life is like that! I loved the way you phrased everything - and all the thoughts behind it.
    This is such a true post - you've caught the pattern of everyday life so well!

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, Rhoda. I am cheering for you as you look toward a new year with your own blog :)

      Blessings to you!
      ~Lisha

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  5. I am so grateful that His grace & mercy & forgiveness still flow every day in my life. So grateful that I can come to Him freely. I visited this morning from the Thrive at Home linkup this morning. Blessings!

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    1. Oh, amen!

      I am thankful that you stopped by :) Have a wonderful week!
      ~Lisha

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  6. Thanks so much for sharing them with Wednesday's Adorned From Above Link Party.
    Have a great week.
    Debi and Charly @ Adorned From Above

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    1. Thank you, ladies, for being faithful to host each week! :)

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  7. That is my life and you put it into words so sweetly and honestly.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, Judith! <3

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