9.21.2013

Confession of a messy mom.

I'm going to let you in on a few little (not-so-) secrets:

I am a mom of three young ladies.
I battle laziness every day (and often lose).
My house is almost always messy, at least in one or two rooms. 

As much as I want my home to look neat and tidy all of the time, it just doesn't. Sometimes, it's because I'm lazy (Proverbs 13:4 comes to mind: "The soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing; But the soul of the diligent shall be made rich."). Wanting a clean home, but choosing screen time or reading or sewing, doesn't mean I will have an orderly, uncluttered home….

At other times, it's just because life with three daughters happens. The toddler destroys a room like a hurricane; my little artist has a creativity explosion all over the schoolroom. Or I have a sick child and the dishes & laundry just have to wait. Or a friend stops by unexpectedly, needing encouragement...or school takes longer than I planned...or it’s a beautiful day and the girls want to go for a walk with me. Or…

I often used to cut the messes out of the background of pictures I posted and do mad-dash surface cleaning before someone dropped by – or I’d go so far as to not be terribly welcoming to an unexpected guest for fear they’d see my mess, but I’ve been taking baby steps toward being okay when people see the mess. I’m taking the plunge today and inviting you to see what our home looks like when life is actually happening:

Here's a virtual welcome-to-our-home, if you'd showed up at around noon yesterday:

Sometimes, the lunch dishes don't get cleaned up right away.
Sometimes, girls get distracted from their chores by Legos.

A sink full of dishes, and a dishwasher full of dishes that have
been there since the previous evening...
this is so hard for me to admit. But there. Dirty dishes.

People, and their need to wear clothes. Pshhh.
I do 1-2 loads of laundry most days, but it only gets put away
2-3 times a week.

School table = creative art table. The girls sometimes enter
stealth mode and will quietly craft when they are supposed
to be playing in their room...and then forget to clean up. Cringe.

Ok, so the living room isn't actually that bad here. The big girls
are often very helpful and will take about 5 minutes to do a 'quick clean-up'
before lunch.

Either way, sometimes our home is messy. REALLY messy. Sometimes, borderline gross messy:

-sometimes the laundry sits in the washer overnight and then smells kindaaaaa musty. Sometimes the only clean clothes are the ones that have been in the dryer for days.

-the girls’ room, as much as we want to clean it each night before bed, sometimes looks like the closet threw up all over their floor, and beds, and out into the hallway.

-the bathroom trash overflows. 

-dishes get crusty. or slimy. or bubbly. Or there are so many that I can’t find the counter top.

-sometimes the girls will sweep without me asking, because the floors get too messy for even them.

-just keeping up with ordinary chores is sometimes too much; forget the piles and piles of clutter in the schoolroom and on my desk.

We do have a daily chore routine, and we try to follow it daily (see Our Morning Routine), but sometimes chores get overlooked or something comes up.

This may sound silly to you, but it's a freeing confession for me. I've long wanted everyone to think that I've got it together; that I've got this perfect little existence. The motive was noble - to try to give Jesus a good reputation. If people see that my life is awesome, maybe they'll want to follow Jesus, too.

It turns out He doesn't really need my help in the PR department, though.

Also - what kind of message is that?! It's certainly not the gospel. Following Jesus does not ensure a squeaky-clean life. 

Being willing to get up every morning and face my struggles again in the grace that He supplies while choosing to praise Him and His goodness, even when the outlook seems bleak or overwhelming – that is where and how He is magnified in my life.

Being humble enough to explain to my daughters that part of the reason the house is so messy is because sometimes Mommy is just plain old lazy, and that choosing laziness over diligence is a sin, but that the Lord can change my heart concerning that - and training them to not fall captive to it in the first place – He uses that to showcase His patience with me.

Being able to rejoice in the tiny victories – going to bed with no dirty dishes in the sink, or keeping up with the laundry for a couple days in a row, or training the girls (and myself) successfully to enjoy the fruits of a job well done, and extending forgiveness to myself when I falter and pick my leisure time over managing my home well – those are moments when the Lord reminds me that I’m not just teaching my daughters how to succeed but also how to handle their failures graciously because of the forgiveness we have in Christ. 

I am broken. Life is messy. Learning to walk in victory over laziness, selfishness, and pride one day at a time in His strength is more precious to God than me trying to project an image of perfect for His sake.

Boasting in my weakness,
that His power might be seen throughout my life,
for His glory!
~Lisha

[For more on my journey from pride to broken honesty, see my post Intimidation.]

I may be sharing this at one of this encouraging Link-up parties!

[If this blog has encouraged, blessed, or inspired you, please comment or share with a friend!]

23 comments:

  1. I have put pictures of messy sinks or counters before on my blog, and my hubby asked "Is that what you all do? Put pictures of messes on your blogs?" It made me laugh, lol!

    I applaud your honesty, my friend. We all have those days where we can easily stay on target and then other days when it's hard to pry ourselves away from a good book!

    Those 5 minute toy pick ups are a lifesaver, aren't they? We did three of them a day: before lunch, before dinner and before bed. The rest of the time things were messy, haha.

    I did build a chore training time into our homeschool schedule though, and that helped a lot too!

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    1. :) I think that the messy-picture blog posts are an open response to the super-mom blog posts & pins. I've been one of those "super-mom" posters for so long - wanting so badly to seem like I had this thing down. I am so thankful God is dealing with this full-on in my heart right now!

      We have several quick-pick-ups in the schedule - and it does keep the house from looking like a hurricane (mostly). And we have a chore training time in our schedule, too! (I just don't always follow the schedule...we're getting there!)

      Thank you for your encouraging words, and for stopping by!
      ~Lisha :)

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  2. Thank you for sharing this. I too struggle with laziness. I have two girls, ages 2 and 3 and one on the way, and it's almost impossible to keep the house clean. Although...I can't blame them. It's not like I kept a very clean house in the few years I was married before they came...or a clean dorm room in college...or a clean bedroom growing up. It has always been a struggle for me. I loved this line, "Following Jesus does not ensure a squeaky-clean life." And praise the Lord, following Jesus also does not require a squeaky-clean life. He gives us grace day by day to strive to do better! Have a great day!

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    1. Jessica, it's been a long-standing habit in my life too! And one of the ways God has convicted me lately is that my older girls (7 & 6) are also developing the lazy habit. I do not want this to be a stumbling block for them in 25-30 years - which means I need to model diligence now!

      And yes, you're right - the day-by-day grace to keep striving - oh, it's so wonderful!

      Thank you for your encouragement!
      ~Lisha :)

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  3. Great post! Love the authentic pics : )

    I LOVE that "Jesus does not need our Help in the PR department!"

    I have NEVER heard of an unbeliever who said "Wow, her house is really tidy! I want what she has!"

    It's true that we need to battle sheer laziness, but it's also true that there are SO Many things more important that whether the kids left some toys on the floor (or for that matter - whether YOU left some things on the floor).

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    1. My husband recently reminded me that I really shouldn't get on the girls' cases as harshly or as much as I do for forgetting to clean up after themselves, when I don't always clean up after myself right away. And I am slowly realizing that there are so many more important things than whether or not their bedroom floor is clean. I am so thankful that the Lord is forever patience with me and my foolish antics!

      Thanks for being an encouragement, Anna!
      ~Lisha :)

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  4. I too struggle with laziness, (that's why I'm on the computer right now, instead of dealing with the mountains of dishes and laundry I should be doing!) Thank you for your encouraging post!

    I found your post through the Modest Mom link-up.

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    1. Missy, I find myself on the computer way too often during the day, too. Some days I find the best things I can do for myself is shut the computer off and resolve only to check online after all of my to-do list is finished...although, that doesn't happen as often as it should. Now...about those dinner dishes... =O

      Thanks for stopping by!
      ~Lisha :)

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  5. Thank you for an honest look into an honest life! I too suffer from "lazy" but I am working on with the help of Jesus!

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    1. Melissa, thank you for your encouraging words! He is SO patient. SO patient with His children! Praise God that He is faithful to complete the good work that He started in you & me - no matter how long it takes us to let Him. :)

      ~Lisha :)

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  6. Sometimes experiences with our children are more important than a picture perfect house! I do understand choosing other things (even selfish things) over cleaning the house! Great post.

    Blessings,
    Nicole @ WKH

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    1. Thank you, Nicole :) I'm finally learning. It's only taken...years. So thankful for God's patience!

      ~Lisha :)

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  7. Hopped over here from Titus 2 Tuesday. I had a similar 'confession' post last week- http://www.karentrina.com/2013/09/confessions-of-slob.html
    Frankly, I would rather visit someone who doesn't have a picture perfect home than one who does. That lets me know that they are real and they live in their house, too! I once heard this: If you are coming to see me, come anytime; if you are coming to see my house, make an appointment. That pretty much sums up how I feel about it. Most friends are coming to see you, not your house. As long as you make them feel welcome, it will be a lovely visit.

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    1. Karen, I'll be sure to read your post. Thank you for sharing that saying; I just might write that down in my kitchen somewhere as a reminder!

      ~Lisha :)

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  8. Hi there. I found you through Thriving Thursdays and I have to tell you what my mom always told me. She said, "I don't want a house that's perfect. I want a house that's lived in." I really got what she meant. A house that's "lived in" conveys warmth and activity and interaction and energy and joy. Life is not so tidy when you're busy living it :)

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    1. Thank you for sharing your mom's wisdom and for the encouraging words, Steph! I'm learning...slowly. I'm so thankful that the Lord is patience with me :D

      ~Lisha :)

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  9. Found you on Faithful Friday Blog Hop! I have just put up a post, as well, about my house being {Un}Organized! Thanks for sharing your pics...you are braver than I am! This sounds just like my home...laundry, dishes, living room! Thanks for sharing. I put up my post about being unorganized/messy (whatever you want to call it) on the Blog Hop! Check it out!

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    1. Thanks for visiting, Sarah! I'll definitely check your blog out, too :) I don't feel brave - I just felt God asking me to be honest about where I am and where He's leading me by His grace :D

      Have a beautiful day!
      ~Lisha

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  10. Lisha, this is so encouraging! I could relate to so much of what you say. I struggle to keep on top of chores too, partly because it's hard to look after a house with three children who make messes, partly because I don't really like housework and end up gravitating towards preferred tasks instead. Thanks for sharing and making us all feel better about our messes!
    Thanks for sharing at Essential Fridays.
    Blessings
    Mel from Essential Thing Devotions

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    1. I'm so thankful I'm not the only one who struggles and that you were encouraged :D ...and I'm even more thankful for God's grace and unfathomable patience with us as He leads us!

      ~Lisha :)

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  11. Oh, yes, I am that mom you describe in this post. Thank you for a look at real life and the reminder that I'm not the only one. And also for the reminder that even in my weakness I can boast in His strength.

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  12. I have a friend who struggled with infertility for years and finally was able to have 2 daughters. One time her husband walked in and said "Look at this mess!" and she said "I know. Isn't it wonderful?"

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    1. Oh! What a precious response, and a necessary perspective check :) Thank you for sharing this!

      ~Lisha

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