Nutella vs joy

"Today is the kind of day when ____________ would make everything better!"

I say this every day. Fill in the blank with
a sweet tea.
a iced coffee the size of my head.
a couple of hours away from everyone. or days. weeks?
slices of chocolate cheesecake.
a pre-paid shopping spree.
a phone call from a friend.
an 8-hour nap.
a brief break from financial troubles.
...a break from life, in general.
being loved like I think I deserve.
etc.

Today was one of those days. Life is hard right now. Not bad, but hard. God has allowed some tough circumstances in my life because He knows fully and best which trials I need to make me more dependent on Him, so that I'll be more like Jesus - and I have quite a few lessons to learn! And today, oh man. I was confident that Nutella, straight out of the jar with a spoon, would have made everything better.

image from www.leftoverqueen.com

At least, I thought so in the moment.

I was doing the dishes this afternoon in between refereeing Elizabeth & Abby's playtime and keeping Hannah from destroying the clean living room entirely, because she didn't want to just sit down and play with her sisters or watch a movie or anything. I was tired, and caffeine-deprived. I had been fighting off envy, discouragement, and bitterness all morning, so I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. And I was praying for Nutella, or really for anything that contained chocolate. We don't have money for extravagant things like chocolate right now, so it would only come by divine intervention.

Am I not joy enough? {that still, small voice.}

What. No. Let me continue in my self-pity.

Am I, the Lord, who loads you daily with benefits, am I joy enough for you, right now?

Ugh. But I deserve Nutella. or Dove. or Hershey. Something, for all of the stuff I've been dealing with.

Seek Me first, and my Kingdom - seek your solace and your comfort, your satisfaction and your joy - seek them in Me. All of those other things that you think will make your life better are temporary, my daughter! They cannot change a lick of your situation - but I can change your heart, even if your situation doesn't change. Find your joy in Me. I will show you the path of life! In My presence is FULLNESS of JOY; at My right hand are pleasures forevermore!"

Sigh.

Every day is a fight. a battle against discontent, whining, grumbling, and giving up. Every moment I have to choose Jesus as my supreme Joy - not because He makes my circumstances amazing, but because He can do amazing things with crummy, barren, hopeless situations.

Yes, Lord. You're right (of course You are!) Forgive me for being so short-sighted.

(But I wouldn't mind chocolate every now and then....)

Learning to rejoice in the Lord always,
for His glory!
~Lisha

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