Abbyisms, Part II: ElizabethandAbbyisms
I decided that, since Elizabeth shows up just as much as Abby in these quotes, it really should be "ElizabethandAbbyisms".
Here are the ones that I wrote down from July 1st up through yesterday. To read the first installment of Hunter Homestead Hilarity, check out Abbyisms.
A: Did you like to be in the hospital [back in April]?
E: First, I had to go to DER (she spelled it out) and get checked and DER doctor couldn't fix my belly so then we drove to the hospital. Abby, did you know at the hospital they don't like you walking around, so you get carried everywhere and they bring you juice boxes in bed? AND you have a tv with lots of movies right in your room! I liked it.
A: (in awe) Wow. I'd like to go be in the hospital. That sounds FANTASTIC!
Elizabeth: (indeterminable whining at Abby about something)
Me: Elizabeth, you need to remember to use kind words when you're speaking to your sister.
Elizabeth: (whining) But Mommmmm! I don't have any of those!!!
Me: Don't have any what?
Elizabeth: (angry) Kind words!
...on this day in 2010:
elizabeth's new song that she made up tonight. i'm not joking. "oh, tell me the story / the one where the bad guy comes to get me / and then I TAKE CARE OF HIM! / oh, yes...i want to hear that story!" ...what?!
Abby: (playing) Let's wash our hands in the oven!
A: Actually, you really wouldn't want to wash your hands in the oven. That's silly!
Me: Why not?
A: MOM! There's no soap in the oven!
Me: ...can you think of another reason why?
Elizabeth: (making angry noises and hitting Abby)
Abby: uh, Elizabeth...the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
E: Mom, when's fall going to be?
A: First, it goes spring, fall....
Me: No, Abs, close. Spring, summer, then fall...
A: And after fall, it's Christmas season!
(Abby apparently has a mind for marketing. Fall, then Christmas for two months.)
Abby: Mom, how do they make hot dogs?
Me: ...that's...a good question.
Abby: (nervously) ...they don't use the armpit parts, do they?
Elizabeth: I think they use pigs. You know, when you BASH pigs, pork chops come out!
How sweet to my ears today:
E: Mom, in the storm, the wise man builds his house on the rock. The foolish man builds his house on the sand. We're having a storm right now...is our house built on a rock?
Elizabeth: [to the tune of O, Christmas Tree] Oh Hannah, you are very sweet...(pause)...although you smell like taco meat!
Abby (laughing): yeah, yeah...um...Oh Hannah you are really cute, but you smell like...banana soup!
Both girls: PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
At tubby time:
Elizabeth: I'm going to wash my armpits!
Elizabeth: Actually, I'm going to wash my hairpits.
Elizabeth: Yeah. That's armpits like Daddy's!
Abby: Mom, I don't like what you're making for dinner. I don't like hamburger. I don't like sauce on hamburger. I don't like cheese. I like biscuits but not cooked like the way you're cooking them.
Me: [Insert five-minute talk about how we need to have a grateful heart attitude about the food God gives us, and not to complain because there are people who don't have anything to eat.]
Abby: Well then, they should probably just come over and eat our food, because I don't like it. That's sharing!
Elizabeth: Hey mom, I've come up with a new kind of pizza!
Me: What kind?
Elizabeth: Sneeze pizza!!! Want to try some?
Me: Um, I think I'll pass...
Elizabeth: Fireman! I see a picture of a house on fire!
Abby: Quick! I'll call the fireman! FIIIIIIIIRRRRREEEMMMAAAAAANNNNNNN!
Elizabeth: You're got to come quick! It's burning!
Abby: I'm not answering the door if it's Kanga or Roo. Hello, fireman, my building is on fire! Help me!
Elizabeth: What are we going to do?! Who's going to fix it?
Abby: The woman fireman!
Abby: Here's a hermit shell for you, Mom!
Me: What's its name?
Abby: Um. Hermit, Mom.
Elizabeth: And here's one! It's Crab.
Abby: And this one is Craterface!
Elizabeth: And I named this one Hugest One of All!
Elizabeth: Mom, when you're finished feeding Hannah and cleaning her up, you need to help me.
Abby: ...and give me a diaper change. I have lots of poops.
Me: Have you asked Daddy?
Elizabeth: Uh he can't...he's really busy.
Abby: Yeah. He's playing Minecraft.
Me: Do you girls want to come grocery shopping with me, or go to Grammy & Grampy's?
Elizabeth: Oh, Mom, you know...I can't possibly go shopping with you. Remember how my legs get so tired from all that walking I have to do there?
Abby: Yeah, yeah, and Mom, I'm getting sweaty just thinking about having to do all that walking around. I think we'll go to Grammy & Grampy's house. Then we won't have to follow you around.
Hannah: *big sneeze*
Abby: Hannah...that pretty much disgusted me when you sneezed. I got showered!
Abby: Mom, do you think that if you accidently chopped your fingers off, the doctor would want you to get an x-ray?
Abby: Mom, if peaches weren't so fuzzy, I bet you'd call them something else. Not peaches. Like, maybe, I'd call them nectarines...but if peaches were fuzzy, I'd just call them peaches. Because they're fuzzy.
Elizabeth: You know, Mom, if I had a real guitar, I could play it. But for now, I think I'll just play the air guitar. *jumping and 'playing' and making guitar noises all over the kitchen*
Elizabeth: How do you solve a problem like Mariaaaaa? How do you catch a cloud and pin it doooooown? How do you find a word that means Maria?? ...hey, look, I'm a bird diaper wahoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
Abby (playing with her princess dolls): Wahooo! I love balleting! WahoooooO! Balleting is just bouncing all over the place on your feet! Oh, but wait! Where's my toenail polish? I'm waiting for the toenail and fingernail polish party to start...
Abby asked if we could have the cereal with "crapple" on it for dinner. I asked her to show me what she was talking about, and she quickly took out the Rice Krispies. "See, Mom - Crapple and Pop and the Snackman!"
Abby: One of my dreams last night was me running up a sandhill, and a panther came down. When I was 2. That was only one of my dreams. Another one was a puppy - it was Cleo from Clifford and a cat from Diego - it was a very mean cat - and there was nothing else. And the bad mean cat ate Cleo! It ATE Cleo!! I only had just two dreams.
Elizabeth: AAAAHHHH! We're running away from the Daddy monster!
Abby: Yeah, let's get toothpicks to stick in him!!
Elizabeth (pausing): That...would probably leave holes in him.
Abby: But I'm pretty sure he likes it!!
Abby (singing, loudly): First, you put candy in us...then you eat it out of us....and that is a peculiar way of eating candy! Look, we have long necks and the candy goes therrrrrrrrrrrreeeeee!
[I was in the other room while she was singing this, and my curiosity was piqued - I went in to see what she was doing, and she was playing with two Pez dispensers...oh Abby!!]
Abby: MOM!!! Did you know that cactuses moo just like cows? I saw it on Minecraft (a computer game they play) with Daddy!
Will: Ox. Oxen moo like cows. You said cactuses.
Abby: Oh yeah. Hehehehe. I get those words mixed up a lot!
Current conversation, chez Hunter:
E: And guy makes blueberry pies, and strawberry pies, raspberry pies, and cherry pies...
A: Yeah, but...is guy nice?
E: Um. Yeah. He's nice.
A: Right. But I bet when bad guys come into his office he gets MAD. And then the bad guys are all like "aaaah! But we just wanted a piece of your pie!"
Abby: My mouth is...well, it's like a big vacuum, just for food!
Elizabeth (perusing her Bible): This book has an awful lot of words in it!!
Abby: When we were playing in the pool, Elizabeth splashed me in the eyes.
Me: When you play in the pool, sometimes you get splashed.
Abby: Yeah, and when you eat pizza, sometimes you get a messy face!
Abby: I love being in my bathing suit! It makes me feel so colorful!! :D
Elizabeth (in a happy sing-songy voice): My name is Strawberry Shortcake...and...if you call me something else....that's...okay....and if you call me.......a silly name....that's okay too....but.....consiiiiiiiiiidddddddderrrrrrrr.....MY STRAWBERRRRRYYYY PATTTTCCHHHHHHH (last part in a large and growly voice)....
So thankful for my daughters,