Haven or Hollywood?

Is your home more like a heavenly haven or Hollywood? Does your vision for your home include being a place of rest & caring for people, or merely entertaining them with dazzling decorative & culinary skills?

Entertaining says "Hi! I'm glad you came! Look at the tasty food I've prepared for you. Look at the way I can decorate. Look at my house. Look at how beautiful my life is. Come in, and compliment me on all of these things."

image: shutterstock

Hospitality says "Come on in. Put your feet up. Would you like a cup of tea? How have you been? Can I pray for you? Let me be an encouragement however I can. Your heart is precious to the Lord, and it delights me to help you remember that!"

I'm a people-pleaser. And I am an approval-seeker. For so long, I wanted to entertain people. To give them something to oooh and aaaah about when they came to my home. And, early on in our marriage, I sometimes did not invite people in if the house was not clean...I wasn't as concerned with hearts as I was with what they thought of my home. What a shame!

Does it mean that fancy dinner parties and planned get-togethers are wrong? No! Does it mean that we should sit around chatting and sipping tea with other ladies all day, every day? ...no! It means that you & I need to earnestly seek the Lord & His word daily and have a heart and a schedule that are flexible and willing to minister with an others-focus when He asks. And, as I'm learning right now, that my first priority is to be hospitable to my own family. To make sure that I am speaking (with words & actions) to my husband "Come on in! Put your feet up! Tell me about your day...." rather than, "Hi! Glad you're home! Did you see all the hard work I did today? Look at how hard I'm working to clean well." To make sure that my children feel that home is a haven, and that I delight in reminding them often that their hearts and needs and struggles are precious to the Lord.

It means that whether we're inviting people in to our houses or out to breakfast, visiting family or vacationing abroad, chatting on the phone or chipping in to help in our community, you & I need to be in constant communion with the Father, asking Him to reveal how to have a love for each person He puts in our paths.

If believers stopped entertaining and started administering true, biblical, radical hospitality in their homes, workplaces, and communities - oh! Think of the hearts and lives that could be healed and the hope that would be kindled, because of the love of Jesus having priority over making ourselves look good!

Here are some of the resources that radically altered my idea of what "Christian hospitality" should look like:

Strategic Hospitality - sermon by John Piper
Open Heart, Open Home by Karen Mains
My Heart's at Home by Jill Savage
"Ever Met an Angel?" - article by John MacArthur

God is teaching me how to make sure my heart & home are a haven for His love. What has He been showing you in this area?

Embracing hospitality,
for His glory!
~Lisha

I may be sharing this post at the following homemaking Link-up parties!

{If this post has encouraged, inspired, or blessed you, please comment or share with a friend!}

Intimidation.

www.tumblr.com
(scene from The Little Giants)

"...has it occurred to you that you are...well,

...a little intimidating?

I mean, that maybe when other people look at you, they see that you've set the bar so high for yourself that we all assume that you set the bar that high for us too - even if you don't think you do? And that some people feel inadequate just being around you, or when they see your online posts, or when you're teaching..."

The Lord knows that I'm in a time of my life when I need to hear hard things. I've had conversations where something like the above comment was mentioned FIVE times in the last couple months - which means God is trying a message through!! And He has been faithful to put in my path a women who are faithful to speak those hard things. In love, because they care. He has also given me the gift of Will, who knows me better than anyone else, and is openly honest with me about my weaknesses.

When it comes to my own heart and my relationship with the Lord - I want perfection. I want excellence all of the time. I want to be a beautiful ambassador for Jesus.

I have been so full of pride. I have faltered while thinking I'm okay.

One of the proverbs that utterly. terrifies. me. is 25:26:
A righteous man who falters before the wicked is like a murky spring and a polluted well.

Do you know what happens when people try to find refreshment by drinking from a murky spring or polluted well?! Disease! Maybe even death! They end up sicker and weaker than when they began!

I cannot describe to you the deep-down terror I feel at the idea that someone would come to me for encouragement, or examine my life to see what Jesus is all about, and go away from me spiritually weaker than when they began. I want my life, my heart, my words, my actions, my motives to be a neon sign that points straight to Jesus Christ and His mercy and love and patience and might - always. And because of that, I don't graciously tolerate less than perfection from myself, as it pertains to my journey with the Lord.

The strife comes when I project that desire for "perfect" onto other people. Like my husband, or daughters, or fellow moms, or other brothers & sisters in the Lord, or ...anyone. There is pain, discord, and broken fellowship when I hold them to the standard that only Jesus Christ can attain!

People let people down. I let people down every single day (mainly, Will & the girls, because they are who I spend most of my time with!). It's what people do! I have been so foolish to expect & require perfection from everyone around me and myself. For years, I have been breaking hearts and driving the people I love the most AWAY from the Savior, because I inadvertently expected them to look exactly like Him when really I expected that I should look exactly like Him.

God is showing me (because I'm finally willing to see!!) that there is a huge difference between:
1) expecting/demanding consistent excellence from myself and others, and
2) striving toward becoming excellent in those areas where Jesus has called me while gently guiding and encouraging others to also strive toward excellence in those areas where Jesus has called them.

For instance:
Doing these things

• demanding my daughters have a perfectly clean room, flawless manners, and impeccably sweet attitudes all of the time only teaches my daughters that it's the outward appearance that matters.
• expecting myself to be able to maintain a perfectly clean home every single day only leave me feeling guilty and overwhelmed by my struggle with laziness - and may compel me to only worry about the surface cleaning - taking shortcuts to make sure everything looks okay at a first glance.
• requiring that my husband should always be completely loving - patience, kind, not arrogant, not rude, never failing - teaches him that I think he's a failure because he can't do what only Jesus can do.

...kills joy, love, peace, patience...you name it. No wonder I'm a drag to be around! Ugh!

But this approach

• extending grace to my girls when their room is not clean - maybe giving appropriate consequences when they trash the place but understanding that they are girls and they love to play with each other (and what a huge blessing that is!), or reminding them as many times as necessary to say thank you/please/excuse me/etc because love is kind, or remembering that even I don't have an impeccably sweet attitude all of the time and showing them what repentance looks like when I don't...that teaches them that the Lord cares about their hearts and how they treat others.
• giving myself grace when the dishes are still in the sink or the laundry is still in the washer, and just getting up every morning and trying for one. more. day. to battle the desire to be lazy, knowing that each small victory is a step toward excellence.
• encouraging Will to look to Jesus as the example while pouring grace and mercy all over his heart when he gets distracted...

fosters life - abundant life in Christ! - and growth in the Spirit.

Oh, Lord, I'm so slow, but I'm learning. I'm so sorry that I resisted Your way of grace for so long, to Will's grief and the girls' frustration, and to the hurt of my friends & family. Help me to let go of my deadly grip on intimidating perfection & my own excellence, and to lean hard on Your grace, Your compassion, and Your excellence. It's not my perfection in You that draws people; it's You loving me patiently in my imperfection that is most beautiful.

Seeking His excellence,

for His glory!

~Lisha

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How to Deal with the Fools in Your Life!!

Does anyone in particular come to mind as you read the title of this post?

www.reviveourhearts.com

This is so timely in my life, and was utterly convicting and heartily encouraging at the same time. If you have people in your life who tend to act or speak foolishly, please take the time to listen to this 6-part series (and be ready to be challenged that you are not the one who is a fool!). God used this to show me where I tend to act foolishly!

Abigail: How to Deal with the Fools in Your Life

by Revive Our Hearts Ministries

Part 1: Caught in the Middle

Part 2: Are You Approachable?

Part 3: Diffusing the Situation

Part 4: A Soft Answer

Part 5: A Happy Ending?

Part 6: Death Brings Life

I am praying that this series is as much a help to you as it was to me!

Seeking His wisdom in all things,

for His glory!

~Lisha

*I recently posted another ROH series, Blessed are the Meek! - but don't listen to it unless you want your heart to be changed. :)

I'm sharing this post over at A Proverbs 31 Wife, Yes, They're All Ours, Growing Home, Teaching What is Good, The Time-Warp Wife, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots at Home, Walking Redeemed, Hope In Every Season, Serving Joyfully, I Choose Joy & Simply Helping Him!

[If this post has encourage, inspired, or blessed you, please leave a comment or share it with friends!]

Showers of blessing!

Today, I had the privilege of sharing a short message at a dear young lady's baby shower at church. I've posted it here, because the Lord is teaching me this lesson in my life now!

It's written to a first-time mom, but the eternal truth echoes whether you have children or not: "I can do nothing apart from Jesus."

Learning to abide in Him alone,

for His glory!

~Lisha :)

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Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

[John 15:4-5]

It’s audacious. And daunting. What a claim for Jesus to make – that without Him we can do nothing.

But if He is telling the truth (and we know that He is, because He Himself is Truth!), then that means that we can do nothing without abiding in Him.

You’re a mother! Apart from being one of God’s daughters and being a wife, being a mom is the next highest, most glorious calling in your life. God chose you before the foundation of the world to be the mom of this sweet little baby that we cannot wait to meet. That you cannot wait to hold and snuggle and be amazed at. That your mom & mother-in-law cannot wait to spoil with the love that only a grammy knows!! (and trust me, you won’t understand the love that drives a grammy to feed your kid sweets just before dinner even though she never ever would have done that when you were younger! But let them be Grammies!!)

But, back to the point. God picked you to be this baby’s mom, at this time in your life! Not because you are qualified, not because you have the answers, not because your parenting philosophy is awesome. Not because you’re able to handle the stress of raising a child. Not because of who you are, but solely for His glory! You are not capable of raising up a child the way He wants you to.

This revelation may have multiple responses:

1)      Fear and panic. Without Jesus by your side, in your heart, and on your mind – you cannot be the kind of mother He is calling you to be. That seems like a tall order. How in the world, you may ask, am I supposed to keep my mind fixed on Jesus while I’m changing diapers or up at 12 and 2 and 3:30 and 4 and 6…? How can my heart be full to bursting for Jesus when my heart is already bursting to full with my husband and the little one? How can I expect Jesus to want to be by my side when I’m doing the mundane, every day things like laundry (again), dishes (again), making lunch (again), or just trying to fit in 5 minutes to fix my hair in the mirror so I don’t look atrocious? How can I fix on Him enough?

2)      Freedom!!! Oh, the freedom that comes from abiding in Jesus and knowing that you cannot do anything as a mom without His help! When you start out with the truth that you, in your own strength and knowledge and intentions, are not going to be good enough – you know there will be sufficient grace to pick you up when you falter (and you will, indeed, falter)! God says that He gives grace to the humble, but scorns the proud (James 4:6). And Jesus will lift you up! If you put your energies into abiding in Him by abiding in His Word, He will gently guide you and show you what to do. And when you rest in His Word and lean on His strength, you will be able to do all the things He desires for you in your roles as mom & wife. Not in your strength, but His. And since His strength is infinitely more reliable and time-tested, take Him at His Word and abide in it.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. [Philippians 4:13]

…Apart from Him, I can do nothing. [John 15:5]

{I may be sharing this post at one of these wonderful Link-up parties!}

Hide and Seek!

Elizabeth and Abby love to play hide and seek! In fact, they can and will play for an hour or so if I let them; longer if they've got some good hiding spots. However, they don't play according to the rules - they play backwards.

"Okay, Mom, you stay there, and I'll go find you!" That's how Abby starts every single game of hide and seek that we play. The rule is that I sit on the couch, and Abby runs into the other room, counts loudly, and then slowly makes her way back toward the couch "looking" for me in every place she can think of.

It's quite comical. Eventually, she finds me - even though she really knew where I was all along because she told me where to hide.

That sounds an awful lot like my relationship with the Lord lately. I like to play Hide and Seek with Him, but I don't play according to His Word. I make up my own rules and I play backwards.

How does He want us to "Hide and Seek", according to His Word?

Keep me as the apple of Your eye;
hide me under the shadow of Your wings,
from the wicked who oppress me,
from my deadly enemies who surround me.
[Psalm 17:8-9]

For in the time of trouble
He shall hide me in His pavilion;
in the secret place of His tabernacle
He shall hide me;
He shall set me high upon a rock.
And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;
therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD!
[Psalm 27:5-6]

Hear my voice, O God, in my meditation;
preserve my life from fear of the enemy.
Hide me from the secret plots of the wicked,
from the rebellion of the workers of iniquity,
who sharpen their tongue like a sword...
[Psalm 64:1-3]

The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed,
a refuge in times of trouble.
And those who know Your name will put their trust in You;
for You, LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.
[Psalm 9:9-10]

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
Oh, fear the LORD, you His saints!
there is no want to those who fear Him.
The young lions lack and suffer hunger;
but those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing.
[Psalm 34:8-10]

Oh, give thanks to the LORD!
Call upon His name;
make known His deeds among the peoples!
Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him;
talk of all His wondrous works!
Glory in His holy name;
let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the LORD!
Seek the LORD and His strength;
seek His face evermore!
[Psalm 105:1-4]

There are so many other verses about hiding and seeking. To me, it is clear that God wants us to hide in Him, not from Him; to seek Him at all times, not just when life is at its worst.

And that's where I tend to get it backwards!

It usually starts when I get lazy about taking every thought captive obedient to Christ. When I think, "hey, it's okay to overeat/not do chores/snap at the girls/just go a bit above the speed limit/be rude to Will...just this once. I mean, I'm justified...I've had a bad day (insert any lame excuse here). When I give a place to a "tiny" sin. Then I have to save face before God, and I start hiding FROM Him. It's ALWAYS a bad idea. Adam and Eve tried it too - and they didn't get away with it, either (see Genesis 3).

Then that little sin can get out of control and before I know it, I'm cranky, proud, stubborn, easily provoked, and a whole host of other nasty things. Hiding from God (by not praying and not being in the Word daily and by "covering up" my sin by doing other good things) leads to ruin. Ruin in my home. Ruin in my spiritual life. And that leads to needing to seek God and His mercy. Don't get me wrong - I am SO thankful that His mercies are new every morning, but I think He'd rather me not choose sin in the first place! He wants to be sought because of my love and passion for who He is, not because I've told Him "okay, You stay here, and I'll go find you!" only to wander back to Him at the end because I knew where He was all along and I'd exhausted all other possibilities.

Friend - are you hiding in God's love and grace, or are you hiding from God because your sin prevents you from wanting Him to find you out? Are you seeking God because you delight in Him and want to see His face and give Him glory, or are you seeking Him because you've exhausted all other possibilities and He's your last resort?

He makes it clear in the Bible that He wants to be our refuge in times of trial and in the 'regular' times too. He is a strong tower and a mighty fortress, and He longs for us to place our safety and trust in Him. To hide our vulnerable, mortal selves in His everlasting strength and might. So, run to Him. Hide in His strength. Seek Him in the good times - He says that when you seek Him with all your heart, you'll find Him! Don't wait until you're at your most desperate hour to seek Him. Let today be the day that you recognize that you can't hide your sin from God, and that you can find freedom and hope and life in seeking Him right now!

Only by His grace!
Only for His glory!
~Lisha :)

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. [Hebrews 4:12-13]

Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity... [Jeremiah 29:12-14]

This post may be shared over at one of these helpful homemaking Link-up parties!

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a brief introduction.

Christmas is a glorious time of year. I enjoy almost every aspect of the season - decorating the house, getting together more often with family, Christmas cards, the music, snow, etc. It all brings back memories of being a child and the excitement & anticipation, and it tends to bring out the best in people (side note: someone recently commented that Christmas is the time of year when everyone acts the way they should act all the time.).

Over the past several years, I have gained a deeper appreciation of Christmas. It wasn't until I was introduced to the love of Jesus and was confronted with my sinful heart that I was able to grasp the significance of Jesus' birth.

One of my friends from my Keene days had a little sister who was very ill back in the fall semester of 01. She knew Jesus well, and a couple of months before she passed away she was willing to introduce me to Him. She (and her mom & sisters) shared His love and His mercy and His wisdom and His grace with me. It left me speechless. I was agnostic at the time; a liberally minded young woman who wanted nothing to do with the rampant hypocrisy of the church or the elitism of the evangelical crowd. The judgments I held toward Jesus' followers blinded me from getting to know Jesus. Her gentle introduction completely ruined the foundation of my life - because what I had been building my life on (success. popularity. power. good grades.) was sinking sand.

I mulled her words over for the next couple of months and was willing to accept that God existed and that Jesus had indeed come to earth to die a death for sin. But my sin? Really? I hadn't really done anything terribly wrong. I had hurt people; I told some lies; I had a manipulative streak. But so did other people. I didn't feel like I was any worse off than anyone I knew, and I certainly knew I was better than lots of other people. It took months for me to understand that the cost for any sin is spiritual death, and that each person who has ever walked the face of the planet (except Jesus) was a sinner, worthy of eternal death. Once I accepted that, and acknowledged how unworthy I was of God's love, I was able to then rejoice in the grace He extended by sending His Son, Jesus, to die in my place at Calvary.

My life has been turned upside down. All those things that I thought were so very important - having everyone like me, making everyone proud of me, following all the rules, having a great money-making career and an awesome house - that stuff is temporary. Jesus has given me the assurance that there is a better home that awaits me if I am willing to count the temporary stuff as just that and focus my energy on God and His eternal love for me and for everyone around me.

I hope you're able to better appreciate and understand why it is that Jesus' birth was so necessary and why it was such an occasion for praise and joy. Without His birth, His death could not have happened, and it is His death and resurrection that can give you the hope of eternal and abundant life. If you don't know Jesus well (and even if you do!), pick up a Bible and read it. Start with the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke or John, but don't stop there. The Bible says that Jesus is the Word of God - you'll find His life and His love throughout each book and chapter. Get to know Him; He's a friend that will change your life forever.

[Sarah passed away a week before Christmas, 2001, a few months before her ninth birthday...I am grateful that she was willing to reach out and give hope to me, even though she had never met me before and didn't see me again before the Lord called her home. I am looking so forward to seeing her in heaven and getting to sit at the feet of Jesus with her!]

Introducing others to Jesus,

for His glory!

~Lisha

He came to serve, not to be served

Here is another old Myspace post (Jan 2009). Was really convicted after reading it; I've been living in a season of selfishness lately. So. I won't say enjoy it, because it was painful for me to read, but I'll be praying that God will use it in your life to draw you closer to Him! 
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[Jesus said,] Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave — just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” (matthew 20:26-28) 

[Jesus said,] He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor. (john 12:25-26) 

For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.[leviticus 19:18]” (galatians 5:13-14) 

Therefore they are before the throne of God, and serve Him day and night in His temple. And He who sits on the throne will dwell among them. They shall neither hunger anymore nor thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them, nor any heat; for the Lamb who is in the midst of the throne will shepherd them and lead them to living fountains of waters. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.” (revelation 7:15-17) 

They answered Him, “We are Abraham’s descendants, and have never been in bondage to anyone. How can You say, ‘You will be made free’?” Jesus answered them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin. And a slave does not abide in the house forever, but a son abides forever. (john 8:33-35) 

What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. (romans 6:1-6) 

And having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness. I speak in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh. (romans 6:18-19) 

For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. What fruit did you have then in the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God, you have your fruit to holiness, and the end, everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (romans 6:20-23) 

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people are selfish. inherently. since when did you ever see a little kid who wasn't out for himself? you don't have to teach kids to love themselves more than anybody! 
adults are just older kids. they are just as selfish. most adults want that dream job, no matter the cost of acquiring it (even if it's at the expense of the wife and kids, or an old friendship); they will work ridiculous hours to afford all the things they have to have like internet and cable and that nice house and that nice car and those 1,000 pairs of shoes and that new diet food; they would much rather fork over thousands of dollars for a vacation to a tropical island than give that much to kids overseas who don't know what it's like to have electricity or running water or a toilet. 
what is it exactly that you're feel like you're entitled to? 
Jesus turned the world upside down when He showed up and started teaching, because He pointed out that being great has nothing to do with what other people think about you. It has nothing to do with your graduate degree or your job or how much money you married into or your corporate title. He could not stand the religious leaders of the day who were so selfish and self-absorbed that they were neglecting the needs of their people so they could live in comfort and security. Jesus said that in order to be 'great,' you have to lay down your selfishness and your pride and serve other people. live a life where others come first. (not just show up on volunteer days for a few hours or give canned goods once a year to the food bank - but daily laying down your needs and wants for the good of other people!) 
i think that makes people really uncomfortable. 
nobody wants to be labeled a 'servant' or a 'slave.' why would you? i think most people want to be know as 'their own boss' or 'independent' or 'self-sufficient' or 'master of their own fate,' not as someone who lives a life indebted to someone else - it's humiliating! 
but that is what Jesus calls us to do and to be. not because He glories in our humiliation, but because He knows that the only way for someone to be truly fulfilled is to dedicate his or her life to serve God and to serve other people in love. think about the most joyful people you know. most likely, it's not the ones with a six- or seven-figure income with the broken marriage and large house that they can't afford the mortgage on and kids that they have to hire a nanny for. it probably is your friends or family members who rejoice in a life of volunteerism and spending time helping other folks out for no reason other than they love to help people. 
i would encourage you to give your life to God; serve Him and serve the people around you. be a servant to those you know, and those you don't know. i think you'll find that it is way more rewarding than any material gain you could dream of! 
p.s. as you give your life to serving the Almighty God, and as you accept the fact that Jesus (as the ultimate servant of man) laid down His life for you and paid the penalty for your sins, you will no longer be a slave to the sin that has held you captive for so long...being a servant brings freedom. but don't take my word for it...believe it because God says so in the Bible!